- In this video,
I'm gonna show you how the no contact rule
will work 99% of the time
when you do exactly what I share with you in this video.
Now, the no contact rule is probably
one of the most powerful ways for you
to not only move on in your relationship,
but also,
for you to really pull your energy back to yourself.
Because a lot of times when you get out of a relationship
what ends up happening is,
there's a desire, there's a feeling,
there's a yearning,
for the same connection that used to be there, and then,
that many times turns into neediness.
It turns into needing
someone else's approval, validation, and attention.
And that ends up scattering your own energy,
but also, repelling the love that already may be there,
or may not be there.
Now, when I say that, what I mean is,
what happens and what no contact rule is,
is when you go through a breakup or a separation,
you have zero contact.
No contact.
Literally, like you don't message them.
You're not checking up to see how they're doing.
You are normally muting them
or blocking them on social media,
so that you do not see anything that they do
because every time you see something they're doing,
you're, like infusing your thoughts with this person,
with this energy.
And when you, in a way, detox-
That's really what it is.
It's a detox from dopamine.
There's a dopamine
and there's a feeling-
Especially, when it's also this abandonment stuff,
where with somebody else,
maybe it was hot and then cold,
and then there's this dynamic
where you're tuning to somebody else.
It becomes this thing where sometimes,
you're trying to prove yourself to somebody else,
because you're hoping they'll come around,
and see your worthiness.
That was me for a long time.
I was trying to prove myself.
And by trying to prove myself,
that ended up being an energy
where I was seeking validation and approval
from somebody else.
Now, here's the interesting thing about the no contact rule,
and here's how to actually make it work.
Now, when we talk about making it work,
the thing that most people do for the no contact rule
is they use the no contact rule to get somebody back.
To literally, get somebody to feel energetically,
that they've pulled the energy away,
and then it gets them to think,
"Oh wow, I wish. Now, I'm thinking about this person."
The reason that is by the way,
is what happens is when two people break up,
what there was before was there's this energy
that connects between the two people.
When there's a breakup,
there can be-
this energy begins to separate.
But the thing is that sometimes,
one person doesn't want this to happen,
and then what one person does,
is they continue to send energy.
They continue to think of this person.
They continue to project at this person.
They continue to check up on this person,
and they're still sending energy.
When what the person originally asked for,
was space.
That said, "Hey, I need space."
Or maybe, "I wanna break up." Or whatever.
But the space is also an energetic thing.
But then when their space starts to happen,
somebody may get kind of anxious about that,
and then keep checking up on them, keep texting them,
keep trying to talk them into it.
Which then gives them even less space,
and makes them wanna move even more.
Now, what actually-
The reason the no contact rule sometimes
works for this purpose,
but I'm not suggesting you do it for that,
is that then this person wants space
so that they can be in their own energy field,
and figure out what they want,
because they probably felt ameshed.
And then if you actually give them space,
they may then come around to their own conclusions.
And then what happens is
then you have a choice to make.
And the thing that I do not like to see though,
is that a lot of times people use the no contact rule
to get this energy where the person then comes around,
and then it's like, then we can be back together.
The reason you use the no contact rule,
is because it's one of the most effective ways
to actually help you move on.
To move on from the relationship.
And if it does come back,
then maybe that's something that you can explore,
but don't do this to get them back.
Do it because you owe it to yourself to move on.
I remember, in a past relationship that I had,
where I was in and out of a relationship with someone for,
literally, like two years,
and it was very challenging to move on.
I would wonder why I had blocks with moving on,
and blocks with dating.
And it was because I hadn't actually let this person go.
And what would happen is,
we would like, talk,
we'd like, not be able to be together,
but then we would still be like, such great friends.
And then what would happen is like,
one of us may start talking to somebody else,
and then the other one would get all weird about it,
and then it would be like this thing,
where every like, six to eight month,
something like that would happen.
And what ended up happening though is
once the choice was made
to actually stop contact for a period of time,
that's when it made it so much easier to move on.
And that's when-
When I actually made the decision to move on
and realized that for like years
we were kind of going in and out of this thing.
But once I actually made the choice,
it was within a couple months
that then new opportunities came in
and then eventually my girlfriend came in.
That came because I actually let go and I moved on.
If I hadn't moved on,
it wouldn't have came in.
Because energetically I was still tied up
and preoccupied to that, with that before, that energy.
So I say from experience
that when you use the no contact rule effectively
and you stay committed to the whole no contact,
what ends up happening,
is you then open up new possibilities
and new probabilities for yourself.
And when you do it though as a form of manipulation,
it doesn't work
because you're making that a means to an end.
When it's a means to an end,
it's a manipulative tactic,
and it's normally based on dopamine,
and it's normally also based
on trying to get the inner childhood needs met,
that weren't met as kids.
For me in the past relationship,
I was almost trying to prove it to this person.
Oh, look, I am good enough.
Look, I am, I, I stick around no matter what.
I have all these like, like I'm indispensable
because I overextend myself so much.
That was the belief
because there was a belief there that I'm not worthy.
But here's the thing,
if you believe you're not worthy,
you'll continue to get a reflection of that
until you let go of the unworthiness.
You let go of the belief
that you're not worthy,
until you become worthy by the way.
You don't become worthy by
I'm worthy, I'm worthy, I'm worthy.
It's just letting go of the belief that you're not worthy.
That's the block to you feeling enough, to valuing yourself.
When I started to value myself
that's when other people started valuing me.
It was very interesting.
It's a, it's a one-on-one reflection.
Now, something else I want to talk about
when it comes to no contact,
I was reading a book last night about this
and it has to do with something that is called
it's basically a form of technique, energetically,
where what you do is you let go of the desire.
Now here's the thing.
When you want something, you say, I want this.
You energetically are saying, I lack this.
Now the thing is, is if you want a loving relationship,
if you want the person to come in,
to come back even,
the want in of itself is a different reality
than you having or being in that reality.
The thing is,
is by the time that thing comes into your life,
it is natural.
It is natural.
I remember when I was like wanting to like be successful
and I was at my nine to five job
and I remember thinking, Oh man, that'd be so nice.
I really want to have a Lamborghini
and this car and this and that and all this cool stuff.
And that was like my perspective.
The funny thing is now,
not trying to brag or anything,
but I could go buy Lamborghini tomorrow if I wanted to
but I don't,
because by the time you get there,
you have a different, you have a different way,
different self-image.
You value different things.
You see things differently.
Now that I've worked for it and I've seen what goes into it,
I don't wanna waste it on something
I don't really care about, like a Lamborghini.
But it's, it's a-
By the time it's natural for you, you don't really want it.
It's interesting.
And in the same way,
when you see it as a natural part of your self image
to be in a loving relationship
or to even be happy being single-
It always happens when you're not looking for it.
See, it happens so often.
You're not looking, you're not trying to get somewhere,
or trying to get someone.
That's when it happens.
It's because you've let go of the the want, the need,
the desire that's like there.
Because when you, when you want,
it's also like a, it's a form of scarcity.
It's not here now.
Think about it.
There's like two different realities.
There's reality where you want love
and success and money or whatever.
Then there's a reality where you have it.
These are two separate energies
and the energy of want lacks it.
People feel what you feel.
So you end up like actually repelling the love in your life.
You end up repelling that energy.
So instead, what I recommend you do,
is you let go of the desire you, let go of wanting.
That's what happiness is by the way.
Happiness is an acceptance of the present moment,
not wanting it to change.
And when you can be happy with where you are,
you then allow,
other happy things to come in as a reflection.
So one thing that I've had to learn to do
and I've used this technique in many ways.
I remember even like,
I remember when I was in Vegas
and I was getting into a new house
and there was a house I really wanted.
I was gonna rent it and I really wanted it.
There were other applications on this house
and I remember-
I remember catching myself like, wow,
I really really want this house.
And instead, what I did is I knew I wanted it
but what I did is I visualized myself there
and felt as if it was natural for me to be there.
I imagine in a meditation
what it would be like to get up every morning.
I knew what the layout of the house was,
to go into the bathroom,
to go into the other sides of the house,
how good it would feel
for me to like have all this space to create content.
Because at the time I was living with friends
and I, I was kind of like annoying
and something I wanted to change
because it was like weird when I could film
and I always had to think about where they were.
So anyways, I would visualize that.
I would feel it
and I'd see it as natural,
not as a big old pedestool or pedestal, whatever,
however you say that word.
Sometimes people correct me in the comments like,
Aaron It's not pedestool!
It's pedestal!
Okay, it's pedestal.
But with this,
the thing to become aware of is your own energy
that you are emitting.
And one thing that is the key
to this whole no contact thing as well,
it's pulling your energy back,
bringing it inside your body
and using something called FOY.
FOY.
F-O-Y
FOY means Focus On Yourself.
Focus on you.
I think a lot of times when we go through childhood stuff
we then focus on everybody else
because we think that's the source of the problem.
I know for me a long time,
when I was in past relationships,
I think, Oh, it's their, they're not coming around.
They don't see my...
it was always on them
and them not doing the work or some BS.
Which is energetically holding them in that space.
Which of course,
there was work that I wasn't doing
for me to actually attract that.
So focusing on you,
what that meant for me
is focusing on my vision,
focusing on my purpose,
focusing on my passion,
focusing on my friends,
focusing like on my own lifestyle and what I enjoy doing.
Focusing on loving my family,
focusing on like my own health.
Like when I started focusing on me,
that's when the energy began to change.
Everything else was kind of a distraction
for a period of time,
where I was focused on everybody else.
And then it got easier for me to set boundaries.
Cause that was always a problem in relationships
and friendships.
It was like hard for me to set boundaries
while I then- People would ask me to go do something
and I'd say, well do I want to do that?
What do I want to do?
Is that convenient for me?
Or is that out of the way?
These are things that
as I became aware of it
completely transformed my own energy field
because it allowed me to then bring my energy back
and to be in my passion.
Energy allowed me to increase this.
By the way, that's what PEB stands for.
Pull Your Energy Back.
It is so powerful when you do that
and when it comes to no contact,
the major keys are not focusing on using no contact
as a means to an end to get the person to come back.
It may be a side effect of that
but you really have to decide what do you want
and is that natural for like this new version
of you that is being
love, loving yourself, feeling happy,
following your own purpose.
You know.
Focusing on your self.
These are all things that transform your life.
The more that you embody that energy.
Now, if you haven't seen it yet as well,
I have something called the map process,
the magnetic activation process.
If you wanna learn step by step
how to activate more magnetic energy than ever before
and really create your dream life,
it's a step by step process
with a PDF and a training video,
then go to aarondaugherty.com/map.
That's aarondaugherty.com/map.
Check out that free training.
Watch how much it changes your life.
And if you wanna understand
what energetically happens
when no contact happens, what happens energetically.
Watch this video right here.
- What is called no contact,
is one of the most powerful processes
or energies that you can infuse
into what you're experiencing.
If you find it hard to let go
or if you find that
the more you try to make something work with somebody,
the more it butchers up the process.
This is something that changes-