Hello, welcome back to the channel
and another episode of 'Ask Rikki',
where you submit a question in a Google form
about deafness, bisexuality, mental health, other disability -
anything that I really talk about on the channel
and I'm going to try to help you out in the best way I can, with some advice.
And today's topic is going to be about bisexuality
and anonymous asks, "What are your thoughts on bisexual erasure?
I'm a bisexual woman who married a cisgender man
and I don't feel comfortable
speaking out as a member of the LGBTQA community anymore.
Is my voice still valid within the community or because I can 'pass',
am I now considered just an ally?
Should I be more vocal?
I try to be honest with those around me.
My husband, obviously knows,
including some co-workers when the topic is broached.
My conservative family, though, doesn't know.
I came out confused and scared at 13
and they basically pretended it never happened.
I think they assumed that because I married a man,
my coming out was just a phase and breathed a big sigh of relief.
With the world as it is,
I feel like I need to remind them of who I am,
which is difficult to admit even at 32.
On a side note -
I've really enjoyed watching your videos over the last year.
Keep 'em coming."
First of all, thank you.
I really appreciate that you are enjoying my videos.
Secondly, to kind of sum this up, as if,
"Is your voice valid as a bisexual person?"
Yes, it is.
Whether you are married to a man,
a cisgender man or not,
your voice is still valid as a bisexual person.
The B is in there for a reason and I hate bisexual erasure.
I think I made a video specifically about it before
and it drives me bonkers.
You are definitely not an ally.
Being an ally is that you're not part of that community
but you're supporting them, you know?
So, like people being an ally to deaf communities, to deaf people,
being allies to LGBT people.
That just means you're supporting people who are gay, lesbian, trans, bisexual.
There's a reason the B is in there.
But, of course, a lot of people tend to forget that,
or I don't really want to say that they're "forgetting it,"
they just don't care, which is really, really annoying.
Biphobia is absolutely annoying.
This whole thing that if you're married to a male
but you're bisexual,
you must obviously be straight,
or if you are married or in a relationship with a woman,
you must obviously be gay, rather than bi, is absolutely annoying,
and that just means that you should continue to be vocal about it,
if you are comfortable doing so.
I don't want to be like, "No, keep talking about it,"
even if it's like, out of your comfort zone and making you like, terribly afraid to do so.
But, if you are comfortable, there is no reason that you shouldn't be
because your voice is important, our voices are important,
and the more we talk about it,
the bigger of a chance we have of changing things around, right?
There are people that are going to be ignorant about bisexuality
and ignorant is not a bad word,
it really just means that you don't know of something
and there are people that are ignorant
that, you know, they'll want to understand, they'll want to be learning about it,
they're open to that.
So, that's the time to do that and if you're successful,
it's completely worth it.
And of course, you know, they're like your parents, for example,
who are like, just trying to ignore all of that.
You're not going to be able to change their minds
if they're just completely stubborn about it,
but being vocal about it,
you might be able to change the mind of somebody else,
so it is absolutely worth it to do so.
And anybody who told you that your voice isn't invalid
because you are married to a man or whatever,
(WINCES)
cut them out of your life. (LAUGHS)
I wanted to say kick them in the behind
but that's probably not going to do anybody any good,
just do it in your head,
don't actually do it like, physically in real life,
just do it in your head.
In actuality like, just cut them out of your life.
You don't need them.
They're just annoying weight on your shoulders.
They're a part of the bad place man, just get them out.
But yeah, let me just say it one more time to end this video or wrap it up.
You are valid, OK?
You are valid and you should just shout it out to whoever wants to tell you.
You are valid, OK?
No matter what anybody says,
no matter how many times people try to go against you,
you are valid, your voice matters,
whatever you have to say about bisexuality is very, very important,
and I encourage you to keep on going,
regardless of what the biphobes want to try to tell you, OK?
I support you and I encourage you, OK?
Those are my thoughts on the matter.
If any of you fellow bisexual people have any other thoughts to add,
leave them in the comments to help out anonymous, alright?
Always helpful.
If you are someone who needs advice on something
and would like to submit a question,
I will have the Google form link down below.
If you don't want to miss out on any future episodes of 'Ask Rikki',
make sure to subscribe, hit that notification bell,
so you will get notified when new episodes go up.
Pledge on Patreon
because this video is probably going to get demonetised
because it is LGBT content.
So, you know, Patreon pledges really, really help.
If you would like to translate this video, I'll have a translation link down below.
Share this video to any fellow bisexual people you know
that may be struggling with the same thing.
Share it to the other parts of the LGBT acronym,
in case anybody needs a little push
in case they are also stubborn.
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to watch this video.
I really do appreciate it and I will see you later.