It's 2018, people, which means midterms, yeah.
And these elections are shaping up to be dramatic,
because with Trump's low approval numbers,
the Democrats have the momentum going into November.
Yeah, the same way Hillary had the momentum
going into November, and...
-(laughs) -(laughter)
And rather than have to deal with the blue tidal wave,
dozens of Republicans have decided to retire instead.
So this campaign season has more empty seats
than a birthday dinner for Harvey Weinstein.
And those vacancies... those vacancies are shaking things up.
Like in Utah where an open seat has made room
for an old character to get a new story line.
Tonight Mitt Romney has made it official.
The former Massachusetts governor
and presidential nominee is running for Senate from Utah.
He's widely considered a heavy favorite to win the seat
now held by the longtime Senator Republican Orrin Hatch,
who is retiring at the end of this term.
Orrin Hatch is retiring?
Oh, no!
(laughter)
(applause and cheering)
But... taking his place
most likely is going to be Mitt Romney.
In fact, let's be honest.
He's definitely gonna win, right?
The dude's got resting Senator face.
Look at him, right?
Yeah, his portrait just comes with the Senate office
before you hang up your own. That's how it works.
And for Romney, running in a state
that's 80% white is a smart move.
Because the last time he tried to appeal to black people,
it got a little wack, yo.
Who's got the camera, though?
Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?
-Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? -(audience groaning)
You know, Romney might not have been good at campaigning,
but he would have been a five-star Uber driver.
He'd be like, "Oh, hello, black person.
I know what kind of music you like. Yeah!"
(laughter)
Uh, do you guys like Bernie Sanders?
(cheers and applause)
Well, then, you will love what came out of his balls.
Bernie Sanders' son is entering the family biz.
Levi Sanders has just announced
that he's running for Congress in New Hampshire
to replace retiring Democratic Congresswoman Carol Shea-Porter.
Increasingly, people understand
that we need to have a living wage,
that we need to have Medicare for all,
that we need to have tuition-free
colleges and universities.
So I do talk to my dad about it.
You know, I'm very proud of what, you know,
he has accomplished, but I'm running, you know,
on my own views.
(like Darth Vader): Bernie Sanders, you are the father.
(laughter)
That was the shortest Maury episode ever.
It's like a clone of him.
Yeah, I don't know about you, but I can't believe
that Bernie even has a son.
I just assumed that he skipped father
and went straight to grandpa, you know?
So Republicans have old new people running,
Democrats have some new old people running,
but as with any election, there's always going to be
someone who's doing it just for the fame.
NEWSMAN: Conservative commentator Stacey Dash
says she's running for congress.
The former actress, and costar of the movie Clueless,
wants to represent
a Southern California congressional district
that includes Compton and L.A.'s Watts neighborhood.
She's running as a Republican in Compton and Watts?
I mean, "Compton and Watts" sort of sounds
like a BBC detective show, but, uh...
they're actually neighborhoods so black,
they make Wakanda look like a Panera.
(laughter)
And I'm guessing that they aren't big fans
of Stacey Dash's most recent role
as Fox News commentator.
Either you want to be segregated or you want to be integrated.
And if you want to be integrated,
then you don't need to have things like BET.
There is no need for a BET or a BET Awards
or an Image Awards.
Or an NAACP, for that matter.
We don't need it anymore.
There shouldn't be a Black History Month.
You know? We're Americans, period.
Good Lord. Forget congress,
Stacey Dash should run for president of the sunken place.
-(laughter) -Yeah.
But look, Stacey isn't running
because she actually expects to win.
Right? We know this is a publicity stunt
to raise her profile for her next job--
which I'm guessing is either gonna be Big Brother
or-or... the star of a movie
that only gets released in Bulgaria.
And look, I don't even blame her. You know?
Because running just to become more famous actually works.
Yeah. The only time it didn't work
was when Donald Trump did it, but then he won by accident.
Yeah, he's that bad, or that good--
I can't tell which one it is.
The point is, we'd better pray that Vladimir Putin
isn't a big fan of Clueless.
He's like, "Stay out of the election?
As if!"