How To Start A Conversation With A Woman [0:00:00]
In case you haven't noticed, I've been staring at you all night.
You, me. Another one. Oh, yeah. I'm the sperm donor you've been
looking for [Sound effect]
Now, I'm sure those lines have worked for some guy out there, but now let's try to have
a little bit more class. So, first up, let's talk about the conversations
you've already had with her in your head. Yes, you guys know what I'm talking about.
You've seen her again and again. In your mind, you have actually worked through how are you
going to start the conversation. What she's even said back to you, you've thought through
this multiple times. But, what you need to remember is those are all assumptions.
The problem here is that all of a sudden you say, “Oh, you know what? She's just too
beautiful. She's got too much going on.” And you start to reject yourself before you
even throw it out. You have things going on. And our minds will rationalize, it tries to
protect us. Here's the thing though is that you need to
throw that out and understand that that is not real. What is real is the regret that
you're going to feel if you don't at least try, if you don't at least put yourself out
there. Yes, you may get rejected, but that fear that pain is going to be a lot less than
the fear of never having tried. So, guys, remember, all this conversation
appear none of this matters, you've got to actually put yourself out there and go up
there and start the conversation. The next tip to starting a conversation with
a beautiful woman is to learn to start a conversation with anyone. Guys, it's pretty simple, making
small talk. But, here's the thing is you've got to put in the reps, you've got to put
into practice. If you think you being an introvert, not really
talking to anyone that you can read and watch a few videos and then just start having great
conversations with beautiful women, it doesn't work that way. You've got to practice, you've
got to make your way up. And believe me, there's tons of people out
there that have to talk to you. So, when you're shopping. Yes, just start talking to people
that work at the store whether it be the grocery store, department store, whatever.
And some of them are going to be women, some of them, yeah, you may not be attracted to
them. But, here’s the thing, you're just starting the conversation and you're learning
the art of what to say what gets people to talk. What is it actually you find certain
things that you do say or that people love to hear you talk about and you start to build
up confidence, you start to get these cues of how to read how to understand people and
you start to put in the reps. That is key, gentlemen, is you have to start
to practice, so all of a sudden when you see that beautiful woman and you go in to start
that conversation, you've already put in the practice.
Now, this next point really important, understand the situation. You want to be aware of your
surroundings. Some environments are going to be very conducive to a conversation, other
ones not so much. So, if you’re down jogging by the lake in
Chicago and you see her, she's beautiful, but she's running the opposite way. She's
got headphones in and she's really into her -- her workout, don't interrupt her. I mean,
yes, she's beautiful, but understand that you are going to interrupt her day.
If she's in the middle of a yoga session, come on, you're not going to get up stand
over there and start the conversation while other people are trying the stretch. That's
not the place to start the conversation. However, you're going into your favorite Starbucks
and you go here all the time. You've never seen her before. You've been in this place
a hundred times. You could start the conversation, “Hey. I come here all the time. I've never
seen you before.” Or maybe it's something that you come in there
a few times and you've noticed her, she always is in there on Mondays sitting in the same
place. This is how the conversation starts, “But, that other environment, the Starbucks
much more conducive to starting a conversation.” This next point is all about mindset, the
abundance mindset. And that is, knowing that there are tons of beautiful girls out there.
Because when you realize this truth guess what? You're no longer putting up that beautiful
woman on a pedestal. You're no longer viewing her and other women like her as a scarce resource.
You're honest with yourself. What do you find attractive, not what society tells you what
is attractive, but what actually you're looking for in a relationship.
And when you realize you've got this abundance mindset, not this scarcity mindset, you're
going to have a lot more confidence and strength because you're going to realize, hey, she
can reject me because there's always going to be another one out there that you've got
plenty of chances and you just need to throw your hat in the ring, you just need to start
talking to women. The next step for starting a conversation
with a beautiful woman, inspect yourself. You want to remove all doubt. How do you do
that? By looking yourself in the mirror and inspecting your clothing, inspecting your
look because you don't want to go up to her start talking her and see her smile and start
talking to her friends after you leave because you had something stuck in your teeth.
No. Go to the bathroom, check yourself out, make sure that your clothing looks good. I've
talked about the importance of wearing the right clothing. You wear a jacket, it feels
like a suit of armor. It builds up the shoulders, make your hands look even larger which is
actually attractive, slims up the waistline. These are the kind of things why you want
to wear the right clothing. But other things; make sure you don't smell,
make sure that you've showered, maybe wear your signature scent. All of this adds to
your confidence. You feeling like you're in your zone you feeling good about yourself
which, again, when you feel good about yourself you smell good you look good, your confidence
goes up. Next up, we've got eye contact. Is it required?
No, but it's a very powerful indicator without saying anything if someone is interested in
speaking with you. So, throughout the day we make eye contact all the time, oftentimes
to acknowledge people. [0:05:04]
But, when you see a woman and you're attracted to her. And, your eyes linger especially when
you're both looking at each other for half a second to a full second. The first time,
it doesn't mean as much as if you do it again and you find that your eyes linger again for
a second. What's really a powerful indicator is when you share a smile, and that's what
you want to do. You want to practice making eye contact and
smiling. Again, this is going back to the earlier point. You can't expect this just
to happen. It's very difficult for a lot of people, so you want to practice doing this,
again, with anyone you meet with and what you're going to find is then it becomes second
nature. Now, if she looks away and she never looks
your way again, she's probably not interested. Maybe she's married, maybe she has a boyfriend,
maybe she's something she's not interested in speaking with him or she's having a tough
day. But, if it's something that you've smiled you've shown interest and she looks back at
you, then right there that's an invitation oftentimes to go ahead and approach her.
Now, what if there's no eye contact, can you still start the conversation? Of course you
can. Maybe you're in the library late and she's in the library late and you actually
have seen her in your class. Both of you have a paper that's due tomorrow, so you guys have
something in common something you could start the conversation.
But, here's the deal is that she hasn't looked up, she's been studying hard and it's been
a good solid hour. Well, first up, guys, do not startle her. Do not scare her because
here's the issue whenever you break that rule, all of a sudden two things happen with a person.
First up, fight or flight. So, instantly they're startled and they're not going to -- they're
wondering who is this person that has invaded -- and that's the second part, my personal
space. You're like, hey, I'm 2 to 3 feet away. But, understand when you startled somebody,
their idea of personal space expands. So, what do you want to do? Well, if you haven't
made that eye contact, you want to make sure you get into their forward area, basically,
their front zone. This is where they see things coming on. With her peripheral vision, she'll
most likely pick you up and all of a sudden you start the conversation naturally because,
again, you've got something in common. Just don't scare her.
All right. So now is the big point. You're starting the conversation, but here's the
key is don't overcomplicate this. Keep it simple silly. What that means, guys, it's
don't over think this. So many guys mess this up. All you have to simply say is, “Hey.
How are you?” Or maybe make a comment about the situation, “It's pretty crowded in here.”
“Gosh, what are you doing up this late?” Or, you know what she's doing up this late
because you're in Prof. [Temper’s?] class as well, and, “Hey, Prof. [Temper’s?]
got us working on this paper. Man, how is yours coming along?” And all of a sudden
she realizes, “Hey, you're in that -- I've seen your before in that class,” and you
start the conversation. So many guys mess this up. You know why? Because
they over think it. They think that they've got to have the perfect pickup line. It doesn't
exist, and if it does, let me know down in the comments. I want to hear what is your
perfect pickup line? Point being is don't overcomplicate this.
Have a few simple lines that you can default to and you just simply want to get the conversation
going. Now, the next point, what do you have in common?
This is very key and I talked about this. Again, you guys are in that class together.
I'm using this example because that's what you want to latch onto, ah, man, like I can't
believe he had us like that is making the paper this long or he wanted us to bring in
these sources. Maybe she works in that building across the
way and you want to talk about, “Hey, you know one thing I've noticed about our building
is this. You guys have that same issue?” You keep it simple, you keep it fun, but you
show that you've got things in common. “Oh, you went to the University of Oklahoma? I'm
at Texas Longhorn. Okay. So, we're supposed to be archenemies here.”
But, the thing is when you're in the same conference and you're both up, I don't know
in New York City all of a sudden you're going to find, hey, I'm going to hang out with this
person even though they go to a rival school at least we're both from the south. And those
are the things that are going to draw you together.
So, if you've ever traveled and you've ever ran into another person from your country
in another country, you know what I'm talking about. It's an incredibly powerful bonding
experience that can happen when you find things that you have in common.
The next point, assume that the other person likes you. Now, oftentimes we go into a conversation,
we think that people are going to notice our flaws that they're going to see things that
we oftentimes see in ourselves which are not always good.
Here's the thing is assume that that person is going to see the good in you and just assume
that they like it was another human being. Because all of a sudden, you're going to act
in a way that you're much more open you're much more friendly. And that positive body
language is going to affect them and they are most likely going to open up.
Now this next point, most guys never master, and that is know how to wrap up a conversation.
Be able to spot very quickly when she is no longer interested in speaking with you. Maybe
she needs to get back to study, maybe she's not interested in you at all, maybe she's
had a tough day. Point being is she's not interested in going
forward with this conversation, so simply wrap it up, hey, it was nice to meet you or
great talking with you, I'll see you around. And, have a place to be. Again, it's nothing
bad that the conversation wrapped up. Every conversation is going to have an end, you
just recognize that it reached its natural end point.
[0:09:58] One of the issues is so many guys go into
a conversation thinking it has to lead to this, it has to lead to that, I've got to
be able to take her home, it's got to lead to, you know, fun later on. Here's the point
is enjoy the conversation for the sake of having good conversation.
And, when you can start to master that, all of a sudden you've got a skill-set because
most people they're smart and they'll be able to see when you're trying to get something,
when you're trying to lead the conversation somewhere else. Sometimes it will work, but
many times it's going to fail. But, when you are able to have authentic conversations,
it's a skill that you will be able to leverage and, of course, be able to lead into other
things. So, what video to watch next? How about how
to compliment a woman? So many guys mess this up, and in this video, guys, I show you exactly
how to do it without being a creep. [0:10:45] End of audio