G'day A.J. Mahari here and this video is gonna be about the borderline
at hominem attack as an avoidance of personal responsibility avoidance of the
topic the issues at hand the struggle was trying to be communicated to them
what they refused or are unable to respond to and I have an example of this
that I'll illustrate in this video from from a commenter online with borderline
personality disorder so in your personal life have you recognized that when you
bring up an idea abound read anything to a person with BPD in your life that they
will look at they will discount what you're saying immediately because they
are more focused on your alleged motivation kind of like a red herring
argument right there to protect themselves right and and to not have to
respond to what you're saying so they will look at the alleged motivation
which can be an impulsive and misinterpretation or it can be
calculatingly intellectual on the part of people with BPD so they do this
without addressing or responding to the actual merits of what you're trying to
say put forward discuss the issues at hand so to speak I think this video is
illustrative of that from a commenter with BPD online to me today on a video
and I hope this is helpful for you
so that was a comment that was left now I've changed the initial and I'm not
naming the person but as you can read the comments as as someone with BPD I
can safely say your statements that people with my condition can't love and
that with us you are out of sight out of mind are fallacious the Raven paradox
strikes again what this is is a great example some of boiling personal
disorder with an ad hominem attack wherein they're projecting out even in
in in this more intellectual or more non emotional or trying to scene on
emotional way of definitely dismissing what you said or in this case what I
said this person is projecting out on to me that my my statements that border
lines can't love and I've always said maybe not all but many most until in
last certain matter recovery right can't love no healthy adult consisting
congruent love to be specific and that I've always said that for many people
with BPD that once a breakup happens they leave or you leave or they split
data-value you when they aren't interacting with you or it's over or
you're not sure if it's really over you know the point is then the borderline is
often is in a trigger childlike place of out of sight out of mind
so I stand by those things that I've been talking about for a long time here
I stand by them 100 percent this is an ad hominem attack by somebody with
boiling percenter sword against me in this case why because I really don't
want to talk about why they might believe this or what makes them feel
this way or where this is coming from at all or what what there's nothing
substantive is there there's this is f I'm attack we're in something is stated
and allegations are made so in other words projected out on to me is it what
I've said is fallacious which you know fallacious means it is a mistaken belief
your argument if you get an at home in them attack from the person with BPD in
your life as it's being said here to me that its volition okay they may not use
this terminology but ad hominem attacks come in all different various ways but
it was said to be fallacious what this person believes probably what I said in
a more emotional way even then is conveyed here it's it's foolishness it's
it's from a based on a mistaken belief more to the point a fallacious argument
it could be could be said one might be intimating she this commenter may have
been intimating that I was making an argument that was not only a mistake in
belief but that it was meant to be deceptive by appearing somehow better
than it is so a lot in that one word right there okay and then the to to the
Ravens paradox there are even spare lakhs of balls two possibilities here
point one and point two together entail the unintuitive conclusion that the
claims of form and he claims being made like in this case for me I said you know
people most who a BPD can't love and they have this I was out of sight out of
mind childlike reality that I've been of misinterpretation of here now
situations and events so you take those two things there and this person is
trying to communicate with this ad hominem attack that the Ravens paradox
found here they believe is that I'm making an unintuitive conclusion that
claims that because I say these two things that together these two
things I've said could be taken as an unintuitive conclusion which more to the
point then we'll also be a part of a paradox arising from the question of
what constitutes evidence of this statement with this then what this
person was doing in this ad hominem attack toward me in this comment based
on a video I did basically they were coming to an irrelevant conclusion but
they're saying I came to an irrelevant conclusion projecting that out an
irrelevant conclusion is really just another way of saying missing the point
or a way of presenting an argument without taking any personal
responsibility for how they have interrupted for how and why they have
interrupted the communication to effectively take you and what you were
trying to talk about with them hostage switch up the game twist it all around
confuse you and write fight some more in what is conscious or even some some
level of subconscious obvious keishon to their ended needed conclusion of having
it all go away thinking then he's not gonna come back again in other words it
fails in a broad class of relevance fallacies this is an example of someone
with BPD who seems to be really proud of having BPD because they said it's
someone with BPD I can safely say your statements you know and then it goes on
to identify them are fallacious the Raven paradox strikes again well there's
probably a lot of black and white thinking involved with this cuz the
thinking here is probably that they think they're alright if I'm out wrong
and I'm not getting into that this is the right fighting in borderline
personality or it's it's not always the acting out raging presentation it's not
always a tremendously impossible triggered emotional just
regulated kind of response it's not always just a silent treatment of the
borderline it can be this very turning around in what is a very you know they
have strong intellect people with BPD usually even if they are still
emotionally very young depending if they've had therapy or treatment or not
but I'm speaking of people who definitely have an engaged therapy or
pretty much in the active throws a BPD here just to be clear on what these
distinctions are and that i do give distinctions and that by doing that it's
not like i just and this is a person also making a berry delicious argument
and somewhat of creating a Raven paradox although I don't believe what I said
really creates that but they're projecting up they're trying to create
that illusion of the Raven paradox saying I forwarded that by basically
taking two comments I don't know if I made them in the same video in this case
but two comments that I don't always make together therefore they're not a
Ravens paradox in the nature that they don't always one doesn't follow the
other and they're not put across together so this is a great illustration
of an ad hominem attack where it in this case it was something I said about BP in
a video or maybe more than one I'm not sure if I said both those things in one
video I may well have for making different points but anyway so this
person saying they can safely say this because they have BPD so they feel
pretty proud of that sounds like right okay not saying anybody would be P used
to feel ashamed of it but proud of it I think the goal is to recover from it
when I make these statements and when I put across as most people know it's
because I had boring personalities or very covered covered in 1995 so I
haven't lived like I don't haven't thought like I haven't anything like
what I used to when I had PPD before I recovered so and before it was in that
recovery process where all that was changing but the point
make here is this is very seemingly clever you know it's supposed it's it's
right fighting and it's it's I think designed the hope or perhaps
subconsciously is designed that I'm going to get really annoyed by that or
really angry or somehow feel I don't know intimidate it or like I did
something wrong or bad or God knows when right in this example of an ad hominem
attack what's really happening never mind this situation here which is just a
great illustration what's really happening you said the person would be
PD so during your life and you're like you know we really have to talk about
finances or we really have to talk about why this isn't working out or we have to
talk about name it we have to talk about fill in the blank or I really want to
talk to you about blank remember when I said blank you know how before we talked
about in blank and they're gonna just add hum then I'm attack you they're
gonna turn around maybe someone emotionally maybe not as emotional maybe
rage you may be quiet and you have to sign but they're going to this is really
the borderline version of gaslighting it's at home and them attacking and what
they're gonna do is turn around and be like I said earlier be more focused on
their misperception the red herring idea of like well it's a Ravens paradox and
they probably won't use these words right but but so like to whatever you
said they're just gonna say well that's not true because or I don't you know you
said but I know I didn't any a lot of denials but the other thing is that
they're gonna they're right fighting with you so whatever it is however they
say it they're just whether it's loud and rayji and all emotional or cold and
you're calm and rational or very quietly said you know they're gonna just say
back to you well you know I don't think that that makes a I don't understand why
you're trying to tell me now that I was supposed to do this because you have
about what about me you're not well this feels totally invalidating why
should I listen to you these are all kind of maybe not as as precise and ad
hominem attack as I received today but it's an invitation to write fight
it's a muddying the waters it's setting up the red herring whereby you know
after a time of their speaking and not hearing what you said and you're like
what are you talking about you saw I could have said this up to this comment
too I was like I read it and I'm like what are they talking about is it it
doesn't have anything to do with what I actually said in my video so this it is
another reason here's another way you can recognize the ad hominem attack in
response whatever you're saying is because they won't expound on the topic
they won't talk about what you're talking about they won't even come back
and say well because you said blank I feel this way or I think this or I feel
I take it this way why did you do blank to me no that was just the whole idea of
an ad hominem attack is to come at you with something different and get off the
topic away from the subject matter that you're trying to bring up the borderline
ad hominem attack right here Illustrated for you it is
I think akin to with people with BPD what narcissists doing gasps lady it
gives you I mean it gives you that mind fog that like what though but what the I
mean I was just talking about and and then you know like maybe two hours go by
or this argument ensues and it's just grown into this other thing and you'll
find yourself saying you know the borderline will recover much more
quickly or storm off or go give you the silent treatment for a bit and you'll be
like well it happened here I what I mean I've had clients tell me like you know
after these kind of situations they're like saying well fine
I had a point I don't remember what was right now I don't know what I was trying
to say and then maybe they'll have some vague idea would be like I think I was
trying to tell him or her you know that dissonant and I had a boundary and then
I don't know and then the next thing we were arguing about something totally
there I don't even know what happened and now they said they never said what I
know they said back to me because we didn't talk about what I needed to talk
about yeah the borderline and hominem attack is not specific to border lies
but the way that Portland's can use it because most a lot of people would be
pitied not all are very intelligent to make up for that lack of emotional
intelligence right less until they get enough treating get on that road far
down that road to recovery making a life worth living if not getting to pull
recovery but certainly getting beyond taking you know beyond this kind of
stuff and all the other kinds of things that doubt pull that are defensive and
and sometimes can be somewhat dissociative but they're also kind of
calculated after a while their pattern they're habituated they often come from
the subconscious but they can be purposefully done to and I think that
the borderline ad hominem attack to which is designed to skirt all around
whatever the topic the issue the discussion is about whatever the subject
matter is and fly at you with something else and confuse all it's the book ad
hominem attack is the borderline equivalent of narcissistic gaslighting
and so can people who don't have borderline personality disorder launched
ad hominem attacks absolutely and they're kind of trying to do the same
thing with a very different motivation so hope that you found that helpful and
I change the letter up there so that's not actually the person's name they came
with the comment so I'll just put it back up either see once more and I hope
that was really helpful and take care now