Hey everybody, happy Wednesday, when its Wednesday that means I'm on the website Katimorton.com
If you haven't popped on there to see what its all about, you better check that out
Um and also I'm on Youtube, so if you asked your questions on yesterdays video using the #KatiFAQ
I've found some and I have already answered some so if you are wondering if your question got answered
you might want to go check it out and see if I did, um and today I have three and journal topic, so stay tuned till the end
and I am feeling a little bit better but I am still not 100% so thankyou for all well wishes
I'm going to keep taking care of myself right, we've got to take care of ourselves, good selfcare,
cause Vidcon starts tomorrow, so if any of you are going to be there, let me know
Ok, question number 1- "Hey Katie they are referring me to psychoanalysis and im so nervous and no one answers my questions.
What is it? would i just talk and the therapist would just sit and listen? how is it different from talk therapy or cbt etc?
and they told me I'll remember stuff from my childhood, how do they do that?" (end)
Yer how do they do that right, so this is a great question and honestly there arn't a lot of psychoanalysist,
that's what they call people who do psychoanalysis. There aren't a lot of people who did it anymore in a pure form, if that makes sense
so, how therapy started was or you know, psychology in general, everybody talks about Friod being the grandfather of it
and he did Psychoanalysis, now the way Psychoanalysis works is, traditionally, I would
sit facing the wall, away from the therapist or physiatrist or psychologist or whoever and I
would never be looking at them at all, they would be behind me and they would ask me questions
and if I tried to find out any information about them they'd say things like "why is that important to you?"
and "is that something you would like, why would you like to know, is that something you've wanted to know about someone else?"
and they'd try to keep everything off of them, they don't share anything about themselves, they often times
don't even look at you face to face while you are doing therapy, now times have changed.
things have changed and I'm sure the person you are going to see doesn't do it so traditionally
but, um the way that it works is they work on your past, they whole thought and basis
of psychoanalysis is that we re-capitulate or make them happen again, issues that we dealt with in past,
so as a child if we felt that things were really out of control for us, if we had no way to make it better,
we set ourselves up in our present day doing the same things so that we have the
experience, when things are really out of control and we feel like there is no way for us to gain that control
um, we will be in relationships that may have been abusive because when we were little our dad
abused our mum, that's kind of the belief system behind it and so by working through
what they call, projections, when I take a past experience or a thought about another person
and project it onto my therapist, using that they'll help work through those past issues
Now I know its always kind of psychobabling and your kind a like 'Kati, what the heck does that mean?',
really it means we are using your past issues, bringing them into the current and with your therapist,
you'll work them out to have what they call a "corrective emotional experience"
so all of the things that you have really struggled with in your past and those situations you keep
finding yourself in, they will try to break that cycle and help you, um, you know have better relationships with better experiences
and if any of you want more information I'm sure you can google it, just make sure its a reputable source
its not just like 'BlogSpot.com' um, but that's what it basically based on, there is a lot of other things to it
um but that's the bare bones of what it means and what it will probably look like when you go,
um, its a lot like talk therapy except that the fact that the therapist usually remains pretty neutral
and isn't as involved as there are talk therapy and its very long term, CBT, its different from CBT because CBT is very short term.
So those are some easy differences between those things and I hope that helps,
if any of you have had experience with psychoanalysis let us know what is was like
cause I don't do it personally, so things may have changed and I maybe out of date, I just know
where it came from and where it has kind of moved along times. so that will give us a little more info.
Ok. Question number 2- My psychiatrist says I have major control issues (I call myself a control freak) as my anxiety level raises up when I'm not in charge
of an even or when people who I work with or friends seem not to take their tasks seriously.
Kati says - "so even when it doesn't apply to her she gets very anxious". Since I was a child, I've always been a perfectionist
and when situations seem to get out of my control, I get really upset at those people and I tend to cut them off of my life
It's either black or white. But lately it's been worse and my inner circle of friends tend to be even shorter I'm afraid I will end up alone.
What can I do to ease my urges to control everything? Thank you so much for your hard work. (end)
um, this is something that I'm sure a lot of us struggle with, that I hear from many of you, like
"how do I stop being so anxious about this, how do I stop controlling, how do I stop doing this pattern that I am kind of stuck in"
and when it comes to control first of all I have to great videos from the past, blast of the past,
that I think you should watch 1. 'black and white thinking', check that out, search for it now and come back to it later,
ok second one 'perfectionist' or 'perfectionism' I think its called, search for that, that's a great one too
so I would watch both of those, now, the things that I talk about in those videos are those very similar to the advice I'm going to give here
being that we, first of all, being aware really helps, we feel our anxiety coming up, we notice which situations make us the most anxious,
I want you to start rating them, from zero being like 'um asleep' to ten 'I'm having a full fledged panic attack or anxiety attack'
whatever you feel like your maximum amount is and then we are going to start changing with really small steps right,
we are going to let things go like, one of my first ever followers made a video or I don't know if it was a video or pictures
but she blogged about how for most of the day she left the shampoos and lotions in her bathroom not labelled facing out
and all set all the ways its supposed to be, right "supposed to be" as long as she could, right,
so that something that might be a bit smaller, maybe we don't brush our hair the way we always do it,
maybe we let somebody fix our coffee for us, we let one little thing go and we rate our anxiety and I want you,
before you let other things go or move on I want you to be able to bring your anxiety back down to a good level, lets say a zero to three
so we are going to do little things, we are going to let little things go and we are going to calm ourselves
gong to talk ourselves through it, I want you to have some mantras, maybe journal, ways to vent,
we have to start with small things and progressively move up where, where taking that thing that use to bring us to a six
and now it only takes us to a three and that's progress and I know it sounds like, holy shit this is going to take a really long time but it kind of
does, we didn't get this way like bom overnight, its something we been doing our whole life and we have to start small and bring ourselves back down to a calm level and then try again.
so I would start making lists of the things that you feel like make you anxious, um, I would start making lists of the things that you feel like
that aren't quite anxiety provoking and we start entering that when we try and bring our anxiety down.
if any of you have worked through it and have some good tips on this, as always leave your comments below.
Now, question number 3. "Recently my friend has been telling me that I am too attached to her and this happened with an old friend.
Im scared this friend is going to leave me like the other one. I always end up getting to close, is there ways to stop? "
I hear from many of you like "how do I stop getting so attached, I just feel so attached?" I think the most important thing for us to do
is recognise that we are doing it, I know that sounds really silly and you are like 'but kati clearly she already recognised it, she asked the question'
but this is for may of you who have already asked me about this, I've got a lot of questions like this recently,
um I want you to start noticing , notice how often you want to spend time, notice how often other people are spending time, notice how often you text,
how often call, how often you need to get together, how often you want to know what they are doing, how often you stalk them on social media, I don't know.
Just start being aware, because we don't really know where to start with stopping this issue if we don't know where we are at, so start paying attention. ¶
Start paying attention, be an observer of relationships, its kind of helpful to see how other people interact especially if we think that we are doing something that may be a little outside the norm.
But we are all different, so its good to kind of watch that. So I would take some time and do that, pay attention to how much you are doing,
pay attention to how much other people are doing and from there, we are going to have to start small, just like in the question before, when we think
we need to call or see them, we have to be around them, maybe we should put it of for a little bit, maybe we wait thirty minutes before we text,
maybe we rethink that and then when this is happening you may get really anxious, you may get really upset, it may bring a lot of things out
and I want you to journal about it and I want you to maybe vlog about it and link it to my video, let me know you are working on this,
because this is something that is going to take time, often times, like I said in the other video we have this because we are looking for that connection
we need that person in our life that is there and supportive and loving and that's why we are so attached because we are looking for that person.
but we have to start small and we have to learn what's "normal" for us and what will feel ok and we can always compromise
and I would encourage you if you are open to it cause it sounds like your friend is talking to you about it,
express how important they are to you and that you are working on it, trying to learn and they can set some boundaries with you,
say you know what is too much and how can I work with you to make it more normal, I just really struggle with this and I don't know why, you know be as open and honest as you can
cause if they are a true friend they will be willing to work with you on this, so stay with it, start small and journal about and let me know how you are doing
and if any of you have worked through this or have a therapist working with you on it, let me know.
Now the journal topic today is something that I really like for my clients and I think some of us are feeling kind of "stuck"
and so the question is, I'm just going to read you what I wrote -"Is there something you are stuck on?? Something that you always find yourself struggling with or going back to??
Let's make a collage about it. (what if we did) It can tell us a lot more about a situation than you think!!
Get out some old newspapers, magazines stickers markers, colouring crayons whatever and start collaging about it"
Because its interesting when we journal and we talk people we don't always see things clearly and sometimes doing a collage instead of journaling.
Can really help visualise the problem better help us visualise that struggle, visualise why we are having such a hard time and it can help us get unstuck.
Then share those, take your pictures and post them on twitter, share them in instagram um cause id love to see them.
Ok ill see you all tomorrow on twitter and ill try to keep things going along but like I said vidcon is happening tomorrow so I may just vlog from there who knows, ok ill see you then, Bye!
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