On this episode of China Uncensored:
North Korea is being a jerk again.
So c'mon, China,
What are you going to do about it?
Hi, welcome to China Uncensored,
I'm your host Chris Chappell.
Well, it's happened!
Despite sanctions and international condemnation,
North Korea detonated a nuclear bomb!
Again...
Last week, on January 6,
the world literally shook at this announcement from the official Korean Central News Agency!
That's North Korea by the way.
The hermit kingdom is now
"equipped with the most powerful nuclear deterrent."
No, not Kim Jong Un's hair.
A hydrogen bomb!
That's right,
North Korean state media says they successfully detonated a thermonuclear warhead,
and it caused a 4.8 magnitude earthquake.
Which, in North Korea, is apparently cause for celebration!
"I would like to express my deepest gratitude to our party for guaranteeing the 10 million
year-future of Kim Il Sung's nation and Kim Jong Il's Korea."
Whoa.
Now North Korea has a history of making some rather bold claims.
Like, former leader Kim Jong-Il invented the hamburger,
didn't need to go to the bathroom,
and upon his birth, a new star was born in the sky,
a double rainbow appeared,
and the season instantaneously went from winter to spring.
That’s ridiculous!
Everyone knows that In-N-Out invented the hamburger.
So obviously,
lies like these are why there's been some doubt whether North Korea actually detonated
a hydrogen bomb.
You see, a hydrogen bomb,
also called a thermonuclear bomb,
would be a major leap forward for them.
They're far more powerful than bombs North Korea seems to have tested in previous years.
But is it true?
When US tested a hydrogen bomb in 1971,
it caused a 6.8 earthquake. Last week's North Korean detonation was only 4.8
slightly weaker than the 4.9 earthquake caused by their 2013 nuclear test,
which was a regular atomic bomb.
So what do we actually know?!
"Well, we know it was a nuclear test."
Okay. But what else do we know?
"That you may want to derive more information so that you can improve your analysis of an
event doesn't mean that you were taken aback by an event or surprised by the event.
It's part of the analysis process and I am not confirming in any way by the statement…"
It's like watching a deer caught in the headlights…
Come on!
This is the 4th nuclear test by North Korea since 2006.
Doesn't anyone have a clear plan on how to deal with the very real threat of an nuclear-armed
North Korea?!
Ah, it appears South Korea does...
Ok. Their plan is to blast K-Pop across the border.
Anyone else have a plan?
"You do have a problem and you have a big problem with North Korea and we're going to
talk to China and we're going to get a long way with China and I love China because they
buy my apartments, they spend, you know, fortunes…"
Yeah it just goes on like that for a while but
I think Donald Trump is on to something!
Don't quote me on that.
But yes, China can sort this out!
China is North Korea's only ally
and really, the only thing propping that country up.
North Korea's GDP is a third of Ethiopia's.
And a lot of that is coming from trade with China.
So China's in a good position to pressure North Korea.
"To resolve such kind of complex issue needs more efforts from all sides.
The relevant party you just mentioned should ask themselves honestly,
what constructive efforts have they made?"
Um...other countries put economic sanctions on North Korea.
You could do the same.
You could even ban North Korean planes from entering Chinese airspace.
I mean, China can't be happy about this.
The last four nuclear tests were all carried out really close to the North Korea-China
border.
The earthquakes were felt in China.
This CCTV report says the Environmental Ministry had to test
if the air, soil and snow were clear of radiation.
Though I'm not sure how they could tell,
with pollution that's already having the same effect as a nuclear winter.
But the thing is, China loves North Korea like a brother.
A mischievous little brother that makes you look good in comparison.
Think China treats its citizens badly,
putting millions of innocent people in labor camps that are like dark dens of hell?
Sure, but c'mon!
Look at North Korea!
See? China's not so bad!
And this relationship also gives China political power.
Because if you want to pressure North Korea,
you need China's buy-in.
And more importantly,
China wants to prevent North Korea from collapsing.
If North Korea falls,
China could have to deal with 25 million refugees streaming across the border.
The world is barely been able to handle 4 million Syrian refugees.
On top of that,
North Korea serves as a barrier between China and the US military bases in South Korea.
So it makes sense that China is not actually that upset by its little brother setting off
the world's most dangerous firecrackers.
And that's why North Korea knows that it can do pretty much whatever it wants.
China isn't going to do anything to rock the boat.
Unfortunately for the rest of the planet,
there's not much we can do unless China is willing to tighten the screws on North Korea.
North Korea is already the most heavily sanctioned country on earth.
The only support they're really getting is from China.
And since there are a million North Korean troops, loads of artillery, and a promise
to turn South Korea's capital Seoul into "a sea of flames" should an invasion happen,
a Western military strike might be hard to carry out.
So what is the solution?
Yeah we're all doomed.
Well, what do you think can be done?
Leave your comments below,
and be sure to check out our Facebook page.
Once again I'm Chris Chappell.
See you next time.
Hopefully.