Hey, you've heard the term gaslighting
but by the end of this video, you're going to know
so that you will be able to recognize them the minute they come out of the narcissist’s mouth.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert
and an attorney
and on this channel.
I give you tips tricks and resources
so that you can become the most powerful one
against the most toxic personality on the planet
and if that's something that you want to do,
you will want to make sure to subscribe to this channel
and hit that notification bell
so that you can become the most powerful against Narcissist.
Okay, so you've heard the term gaslighting.
What actually is gaslighting?
So what gaslighting is
when narcissist actually try to make
you think that you're crazy by questioning your reality.
So what they do is they take something that is obvious to you
and they tell you that you're not actually seeing
what you're actually see or whatever you think your reality is.
They just basically say no, that didn't happen.
So you're looking at a sofa and they say,
no, that's not a sofa.
I'm going to give you a real world example.
So they say, how come you didn't show up
for this or how come you are going away this weekend
and they say,
oh, because we talked about that you agreed and you say,
oh we never talked about that.
Oh, yeah, we had a whole conversation about
that and you agreed that's what we were going to do.
We had that conversation.
Oh, yeah, we did like
as if that happened and you know that
that didn't happen but you start to question your own reality.
That's the kind of thing that they do a twist things.
that's the type of phrase that I was just talking about.
We discussed that you agreed
and you said x
and I've had that happen directly to me where
when I had a business assistant business partner
and we had agreed that certain things would take place in a certain way
and then this person would go off and do
what she wanted to do and I would call her
out on it and she would say,
Oh we discussed that and you agreed
that was what we were going to do
and I would say we never discussed that.
You would be doing that.
Oh, yeah, that's what we discussed,
It never happened but they just decide that's what they want to do
and then they come back and say
that's what would the conversation.
Wasn't it never happened that way.
But that's what they do.
So it's basically either the straight up lie
or reality manipulation.
Meaning maybe there was some shred of a conversation
that took place similar to that
and they take that and kind of manipulated around to make it
seem like it was sort of that conversation
and that's what they do.
Oh, the way you walk is like
sort of waddling or something and then they'll go
Oh ha, you say oh, well, that's that's not really funny.
Oh, I was just joking.
Oh, you're just so overly sensitive.
Oh, you can't take a joke.
Oh my gosh, you're so overly sensitive.
Wow, and then, you know, they make it seem like you're the one who's
so the one who's just crazy.
So tightly wound and you don't want to be like the rigid one.
So you go along with it because you don't want to be rigid person.
You know, look what I've done even though the deal was for something else
and so you try to hold them accountable
for a certain thing and then they say no,
that wasn't the thing.
So for example, it might be that they were supposed
to put money for child support into a certain bank account
and then they say, no, it wasn't that.
I was going to put the give the money to you directly
and then no,
it wasn't that I was going to give it to you on
when I saw you and then no I wasn't going to give you the full amount.
I was going to give you half on this day and they constantly are changing it.
No, remember I talked about it was going to be this way
and so you're constantly trying to chase this thing.
Whatever it was that you're trying to hold them accountable for.
You're constantly trying to chase that.
So you're the one who is seems like you're being the nag.
Another thing that they do is like taking credit for things that you've done.
Boy, do I know about that.
Because you know, when I was in business with a covert narcissist
that is something that was just basically the entire time.
So that's also part of that
and you know, when you're trying to catch them,
you know, especially when you're catching them in a lie,
it's just they're constantly trying to change
what you're trying to hold them accountable for.
It's horrible.
So and I have a whole video on what happens
when you catch a narcissist in a lie
which you can definitely check out if you'd like.
That's definitely flat-out gaslighting.
This is obviously if they did say that and they're just flat out lying.
So if you've seen any of these so far,
give me a yes in the comments.
By the way, I know that you guys have.
Your tone is off, your shouting.
They don't want to hear what it is that you're saying
so they just start like talking about what it is
that you're saying.
Your tone is off your way too emotional.
You’re shouting.
It just make it about whatever it is that you're saying.
Even if you're just talking in a regular.
It's just start like making it about that.
You're making too much of it.
That's, that's all sort of the same thing.
You know, it's all about you and the way you're saying it.
you know, something like that. It's, that's all part of the same thing.
Honestly,
they're probably endless numbers of gaslighting phrases.
I mean, this is just like a small little sampling
of some of the gaslighting phrases that they use
but these are just a few of them.
I mean, the overall thing is that they just are basically trying to weaken
and to stabilize you and make you question your own reality
and so when you go to negotiate with them,
you're now in this weakened state
and so it does put you a quite a disadvantage
when you're trying to negotiate with
them and which is why I teach
what I do because I want you to be in a much stronger state
when you're going to negotiate with
them so that you can be much more powerful
and be able to be in a much better mindset
so I definitely do recommend that you grab my free
Crush my negotiation prep worksheet.
You start with that.
You can get that at
winmynegotiation.com
just go there get that. It's a free ebook
and join my free private Facebook group at
Narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung
Free community so you can start there and subscribe to this channel
and hit that notification bell if you like this video
give it a like, give it a share
so that other people can get this information
as well because people need to know the most popular gaslighting
phrases that they use so people can recognize them
when they hear them so that when that words come out of their mouths,
they know what they are hearing.
Right? So thanks for stopping by.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am so glad that you were here
and remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life
and a great day to start to slay and I will see you in the next video.