(Long sigh)
(Wine being poured)
(Loud sipping)
Tom: Hey you! My name is Thomas TomSka Ridgewell and welcome back to Content!
(Excited choir music)
'Scream.' (Tom screams)
'Scream.' (Tom screams high pitched)
(Chuckling) Yeah, that was quite loud, wasn't it?
'Try and do a handstand, I double dog dare you'
I'm very heavy and not very strong (Laughs)
(Yells) No!
'a'
a
(Peanut butter baby impression) a
a
'Armpit farts'?! I feel like you need to be less hairy to do armpit farts? I'll try
(Tom attempts to make an armpit fart but no sound comes out) Nope!
Can't do it.
(Sniffing) Oh no!
Should'a worn deodorant
'Prayorbeprey.com' What's this?
Oh... Oh God.
This can't be real.
Just look at this... and God am I ever looking at it.
Wish I weren't, but I am.
'Do a collab with someone on a call'
Tom: Hey boys, uh, what do you think of the Bee Movie?
Elliot: Bad.
Eddie: Yeah, I-I- I have very mixed feelings about it Rick: (Babbling)
Collab.
(Laughs)
'Try not to cry'
(Sad piano music)
'Become a furry'
(Singing) Nya nya nya nya nya nya na na nya nya nya nya
(Speaking) The other one doesn't work.
(Squeezing the button) What happened to the other one?! No!
(Loud singing) Nya-nya-nya nya nya nya nya-nya-nya
(Fabric ripping) Get off me!
(Yelling) It's dead!
'Recite as much of the script of "Home Alone" as you can, as fast as you can'
Look what you did, you little jerk! I made my family disappear!
(Imitating a female voice) Kevin!
Uhh... There's one of the funny screams when they hit themselves
(Tom screams)
(Laughter)
'Oh shit it's DAT BOI!'
It IS that boy!
'Do a little dance'!
(Typing) Dances you can do sitting down
(Mimicking video) One, two
(Mimicking video) Three and four
Oh God. Okay, do that. Do the-
Oh-ho! Big wave!
Oh, I got it! Namaste, mother-fucker!
I'm a pretty little flower!
Head goes around.
Oh, here we come! We're going out, we're up, and oh-ho we're doing this shit!
We're doing this shit! (Laughs) I can't follow him. I'm done.
(Laughs) This video was already a terrible idea
'Send us a picture' Alright, I mean, shit.
You know what? That's a pretty good looking foot.
Aaaand... Send!
'Show feet' Ahead of the game!
'Draw a tiddy'
Is that...? Is that good?
'Tidy the office.'
(Paper rustling)
That's tidying the office.
You swing your arms from side-to-side, and then it's just 'come on everybody, do the Mario'?
I don't know the dance.
('The Mario dance' music plays)
'Try and laugh hysterically without smiling'
(Clears throat)
Channel your inner dead inside
(Tom hysterically laughs without smiling)
'Vore'?!
Imagine this is you
(Eating noises)
(Spits out the Minion toy, it hits the mic)
(Tom groans)
'Find the invisible cow'
(Reading) Drag your mouse around to find the cow, it's hiding behind the shouting
(Man shouting 'cow' repeatedly)
I found the cow!
'Appreciate my Hedgehog' I mean this is, it's fine. I think we can make it better.
I can... I can do things. Who needs Elliot to be... Graphic... Design boy
That's better!
(Sonic the Hedgehog music plays) Fixed!
Hey, before we carry on with the video... I just got a package
Uh, and it should be - in theory - the first asdfmovie enamel pins I've ever seen
I actually haven't seen these in person yet They went from China to America, and now they're here
So, let's look at 'em!
(Package rustling) Ooh!
Oh they're so much bigger than I thought they'd be
So we got Mister Muffin and the 'Do the Flop' guy And I face trains ... aaaaand frickin' Mine Turtle!
Can I stick them in my beard? That's the real question
I can! I can stick them in my beard!
Yeaaah! Alright, cool.
So, uh, asdfmovie enamel pins Available for the first time ever on sharkrobot.com
This is making it quite hard to speak as these are heavy metal pins hanging off of my mouth place
Uhm, if you wanna get 'em, go ahead they are there
That's the end of this announcement Back to the video!
'Weird Wish sex toys because the website keeps traumatizing me on the daily'
Okay!
Oh my God that's so graphic
What is this? It's so long. It's so long. That's so long.
What are 'sex gloves'?! (Laughs)
They're- What?! How does this work? How does this work?
Select size? A or B? Great.
I'll have 'B' size
Oh it's a penis hat!
It's a little hat for your penis.
You- (Laughs)
It's a penis hat
What colours do they have? Black or blue? Gotta go black.
Gotta get a little penis hat (Laughs)
What else have we got?
What. What was wrong with your regular hands?
Oh it's a little vibrator on it! That's fun.
Imagine just applying this just Are you ready?
James Bond has one of these I know it
I want a pink one
I love that. I want - black or brown?!
Alright. Brown it is.
'Stay hydrated my dude, yes, the whole glass.'
I mean, I guess
Charlie: (Yelling) No!
They said I had to. Charlie: Health and safety violation!
(Tom groans)
'Ring your mum and tell you love her'
Hello mum, I love yo- (Phone starts ringing)
My alarm!
'Speak as best as you can in a foreign language'
(Speaking french) Hello, my friend. Uuuh. Would you like a signature with me? In the book?
(Speaking english) Is that a book? Is 'livre' a book?
Deliviered. Book
(Speaking french) Book!
(Speaking french) And a selfie? WIth me? Yes? That's vewy nice!
'Tell us a joke' What do you call a french racist?
A baguette! A big... et
A big- Fuck! I fucked it up
'Makes a mess in Eddie's part of the office' Charlie, flip something
(Charlie throws an object) No that's just over here now
'Slap the table'! (Tom slaps the table) [Karate chop sound effect]
You like that, you dirty little bitch?
I didn't like that at all.
'Show us your computer desktop' Off we go
Hello!
'Read more TomSka fanfic'
There really aren't any TomSka fanfics Like there is a bunch of fanfics of the character I voiced in Eddsworld
But that's not me
'Archive of Our Own' I'm not even in this one, why is my name in here?
'This idea came from the last ten seconds of this old-ass TomSka video'
Oh no I inspired this
'Not addicted to Memes' This is from the first of April?!
I bet this is gonna be serious shit
Fuck me, it's too long! What's this?
(Man in Tiktok video talking) No way! You also play bass? Haha, sick! You must also be a disappointment to your family!
Jokes on you, that's not why I'm a disappointment
'What's your impression of this?' Well, I guess my impression of this would look like this
...
'What's something you go to throw away but end up keeping?'
Uh, weight. (Sad piano music)
Why does my foot pic have ten replies?
Oh, God damnit
That was so fast
'Design the next hit asdf character'
Ohhhh... kay
I've always wanted to do like a marshmallow character I feel like people... people really like marshmallows
It's just the Muffin, it's the same ... it's the same shit, isn't it?
Uhhh... we'll give a big wide smile
There we go. Two little dots. And it's a little a lil marshmallow
Uhhhh... He exists now.
His catchphrase iiiiiiiissss....
'Don't fuck that' Almost there
'Don't fuck that dog' Yeahhhhhhh
Hit new character! Get ready to buy a t-shirt, motherfuckers!
'Watch this' I'd love to watch this
(Remixed music plays)
This is this generations' 'This is Sparta'
(Singing) 'I'm a little teapot, but backwards'
That was fun.
'Fuck, marry, kill Mario, Sonic or Kirby' I'm gonna fuck Kirby
Seems real soft.
I'm gonna kill Sonic. And I'm gonna marry Mario
Mario seems like a fairly reliable, like, provider
Sonic... I just wanna see the light leave his eyes.
Become a furry! 'This fursona does not exist'
(Wheezing) Oh-ho-holy ... Alright.
He's a... he's a fun one. He looks like he's been looking at too much of the music.
This furry doesn't exist? Fuck you does this furry not exist
That's the guy from the movie...
As is this...
I feel like someone needs to fix this website.
Y'know this just looks like a wall of people on Twitter who are about to explain politics to me
And I really don't want them to. I actually- This has such a threatening aurua.
I feel like at least ten of the people on here have called me a 'cuck'
'Read a book in the zoella voice'
I don't ... have a book... anywhere near me
(Very bad Zoella impression) Her friends call her thirsty-Kirsty because she's always thirsty for hot cock to SWALLOW-
(Sighs) I wish they didn't call her that
'Go away please'
Well. That was a video. I hope you enjoyed it. Here's our favorite fanarts of the week
And somewhere on the screen are the two most recent Contents or something
Contents come out every Tuesday and I will never apologize for my sins
I'll see you next Tuesday! (Strained voice) Byeee!
(Burps) Oh God
Wow, this thing is really in here
(Flapping mouth sounds) Ba ba ba ba ba
(Sound of the pin dropping) Ow! Ow! Okay there it goes...
Yep, Okay there they go. Alright. Party's over