It's a new world out there.
It's a new world.
When we was young, they use to tell us shit like:
"By the time you grow up, computers is gonna be running the world."
We thought that was impossible.
"Ain't no way no motherfucking computers gonna be interacting with us. Shit."
If you got Siri and Alexa, your ass is in a threesome.
[audience laughing]
I'm in love with them bitches. I talk to Siri and Alexa about all my troubles.
First of all, these bitches don't back-talk none. They're so polite.
They wait for you to call their name first.
"Alexa, what time is it?"
She don't say, "Nigga, find your own clock."
[audience laughing]
Gonna be new shit in the future.
They already making robots right now that can fuck.
Ladies, I'm warning y'all now.
[audience laughing]
Get your pussy game together.
[audience laughing]
Hurry before these robot bitches get here. It's gonna be some shit.
You think niggas is bad with they phone, wait till they get a robot bitch.
That bitch run out of her charge. "I need a cord. I need a USB real fast.
My computer bitch done went down. Hurry."
"I got her in the shop getting her pussy tightened up. It wasn't the way I wanted."
You fuck her and she play ESPN.
It's beautiful. You ain't never had no shit like this.
That's okay, ladies. Don't worry.
We ain't gonna never leave y'all for robots,
'cause first time you fuck over one of them robots... that's your ass.
You think a regular bitch will shut down your life,
wait till you piss off a robot bitch.
You wake up, this bitch done shut your lights off, your cable is off.
She done quit your job with a long letter signed with your name.
"Goddamn, computer bitch."
Bitch sent your dick pics all out to the community and shit.
She done turn into Rob Kardashian and shit.
What are you doing, computer?
You just gotta remember to laugh...
and make as many changes as you can in your life.
Sometimes little small shit can change shit.
Little small shit. Watch this. Where's all the single people?
Make some noise. Single people, is y'all out there?
-[audience cheering] -Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Sounding strong.
Where's all the relationships in the building? Make some noise.
[audience cheering]
Okay. Y'all sound boo'd up in Jacksonville.
[audience laughing]
Some of y'all is with two somebodies.
They in the back hiding off-camera and shit.
Whether you single or you in a relationship,
take this little piece of advice, add it to your life.
It's gonna change shit.
Do more fucking.
Didn't that sound simple? Do more fucking. It'll change your life.
Do it. If you single, you should be fucking every chance you get.
Just in case. You never know.
And if you in a relationship, do more fucking.
And, women, I'm not talking to y'all.
I know y'all are always ready, ready, ready.
I'm talking to men.
We only wanna give her perfect dick.
No. Give her all the dicks.
Give her happy dick, sad dick, angry dick. She loves angry dick.
"Gee, I don't know what done got into him,
but this is finally what I've been talking about right here. This is exactly..."
[audience laughing]