G'day, A.J. Mahari here and in this video I'm gonna talk about answer the
question what is a vulnerable narcissist and is a vulnerable narcissist different
from a covert arsonist and then well I'll tell you at the end but then I'm
gonna be doing my next video coming up they'll be in a row is um the quiet
borderline and the video after that will be what's the difference between a quiet
borderline and a vulnerable narcissist so um yeah they'll be in that order so
in this video then because I don't wanna make long ways and that would be
probably like at least 20 is long we did all at once so um what is a vulnerable
narcissist well before I answer that question I'll answer the other question
is a vulnerable narcissist the same as a covert narcissist and the answer is yes
so covert vulnerable inverted narcissist basically the same could they have some
different trait presentations or temperament presentations yes but so
anyway the vulnerable covert or inverted narcissist has here's a quote by
Christine Hammond in an article that she wrote on psych central calm I just
wanted to quote this first quote the secret facade of the vulnerable
narcissists the narcissistic qualities of a vulnerable narcissist which is VN
for short are masked by helplessness emotionality and reticent behavior they
are not dissimilar to covert or introverted narcissus which fly far
under the grandiose radar of a typical or classic overt grandiose narcissist so
that's the end of the quote now I have my notes here being trying to be never
don't want to digress if you've been looking online and and you know trying
to figure out you know the vulnerable covert inverted narcissist but but any
of those search terms if you've been looking for any of those things here's
the list here that I've come you know compiled they did some reading I did
some research I've quoted a couple people and some of these things and then
some I wrote down and all by myself um so the thing is here are the traits
this assigns that the person that you were with our with are confused by have
been traumatized by abused by hurt by and has led you to all this searching
online then I'm going to talk a little bit more in the third video in this like
miniseries here um here are the signs of the vulnerable covert inverted
narcissist okay they are helpless they have a mindset of helplessness they
exhibit a lot of helplessness they can be extremely emotional have a lot of
emotionality as that quote I read said reticent behavior which which means
bloated like sorry silence it can be silent a lot emotionally restraint very
very unlike an overt eros assist for sure they take offense to the slightest
emotional reaction that somebody might have and if they believe that you
criticize them then and said and in any way imply that they're wrong and you
might not even do that and they'll think you did then yeah even if you just leave
them thinking that they'll feel don't feel an inferiority which they can't
tolerate or or they'll believe you think they're inferior which they can't
tolerate vulnerable narcissists believe they are perfect and that you fail to
see them for all they really are how wonderful they are there are specialness
in their superiority superiority of it is an overcompensation
for deep vulnerable narcissists insecurities well and as I say that all
narcissists are insecure and and to some degree I think I'm vulnerable a buried
under all of their labyrinths really really complicated and and thick
labyrinth of defense mechanisms so but but the vulnerable covert or inverted
narcissist whichever word you prefer they were drawn from others because no
one will ever be good enough to engage with them or in a relationship with them
or be good enough that's their viewpoint right and they experience this
narcissistic injury which could be caused by a number of things are not
really cause but they will perceive or feel slighted by just the same and take
personally is the fantasy person they need is non-existent when you don't just
meet what they want what they need what you know they have this fantasy person
and they just will think it's non-existent because is there really
somebody that's ever gonna be as you know special and superior as they are
kind of thing they can't tolerate even questioning their you know in air-quote
self perception or beliefs about again the self or you know they're not
introspective they're not self-aware and they have so much in a different way
than BPD they have sort of like not entirely put together selves so though
often these vulnerable covert and bird narcissus will often play the victim
nothing is their fault it's everybody else's fault everybody's treating them
bad how dare you say this how dare you do
that I can't believe you said this about me or I can't believe you're doing that
or why didn't you do this or why didn't you say that their behavior in general
over all the vulnerable covert inverted narcissist and I'm not saying you know
like they're just called all three things is passive-aggressive behavior
for sure it's not grandiose it's quiet aloof they have a need for control of
others the same as you know the classic narcissist over at narcissist maybe even
more so I don't know and control over the environment very sneaky in how they
go about getting that control so they exhibit false humility very convincingly
and they will give shallow pseudo apologies so you'll think you're getting
apologize too but there's still not really real apologies they present as
aloof bored condescending and judgmental but not with grandiosity or just
disinterested you know kind of thing they punish others with silence they
suffer chronic feelings of emptiness if they feel about emptiness or they're
experiencing an emptiness they don't know how to tolerate it so that kind of
is pretty much what they need to escape all the time they too want supply but
they're just going about it in a really entirely different way which is really
sneaky and hard to spot until you've already sort of you know been
traumatized abused hurt you know cuz because it's only pain it's gonna bring
your attention to like wait a minute what is going on here what is vulnerable
narcissist or covert narcissist or the inverted narcissist all which is the
same presentation of narcissism so they experience a lot of emptiness
like I said and depression and they are you know bar these
vulnerable narcissists are like I said sneaky but they they have all the same
things going on inside to some degree as as just the classic sorry overt
narcissist but they're just presenting totally differently and so in my third
video after I explained what the quiet you know the symptoms are traits or what
you'll see in a quiet borderline when I talk about the differences between the
two you'll see some similarities but they're not the same and so you know I
hope that that would be helpful too because I think it's really important to
keep stressing these things aren't the same as people online keep wanting to
say they are just because they feel like that you know only based on experience
with somebody and they're not professionals and they don't know how to
assess people and I'm not a diagnostician but they can't diagnose
either so the vulnerable narcissists well I'll just use that for now but but
you know also again I'm talking about covert and inverted the same thing
different words has an inner grandiose fantasy that is not displayed outwardly
like like the grandiose overt narcissist and that fantasy equals the escape from
you know boredom or emptiness inside they know their public projected
self-image is false pseudo humility often wanting to you know pseudo kind of
also help people they kind of mirror codependency a lot and a lot of people
mistake this vulnerable narcissist covert versus is for for a codependent
as I've said in other videos about the covert narcissist and they they can kind
of pain that or mirror that but don't mix the two up because codependence are
not vulnerable or covert narcissist and covert or vulnerable narcissists are not
codependence something else that people are trying to smash together why I don't
know they're extremely
oh yeah the their projected out suitable image of course matters most to them
extremely self-entitled and they feel very special and they're very
self-absorbed and they're all about only coming from their point of view their
thoughts their their right you know that kind of thing strong desire to be seen
as a rescuer a human doing and that's how they also mirror codependency from
behind the mask of a vulnerable covert narcissus they use guilt trips on people
they express control needs possibly from victim helplessness
they'll project shame onto others as blame extremely self-centered well yeah
I said that they're concerned with only like self everything right there is no
other really but they want supply as well I mean supply is the goal to fill
up the emptiness just a different way of going about it usually much more painful
and much more traumatic for those on the other side of these people they really
need to be right like I said they have a huge victim mentality they project their
own insecurities out onto you in passive aggressive ways but also blaming ways
they can tell a really good untrue story of the perfect childhood they are
basically extremely or often very angry like just that's the condition they live
with they're often really angry but not overtly you'll see that in in the
passive aggressive nature of things if you're aware of that you pick that up
but you won't too extreme like raging like the overt narcissists
they're very bitter and you see this anger or this bitterness when the mask
slips but for the vulnerable narcissists or otherwise known as the covert
narcissist otherwise sometimes called the inverted narcissist when the mask
slips it's very rarely if ever in public they're generally
dysfunctional the helpless victim type as I said they lie pathologically also
they don't have the emotional drive of a classic narcissist so they use a more
path they use more passive tactics overall and that includes the fact that
they're very stubborn so they can drive people crazy cause people to lose
themselves be really stressed and/or abuse others to the point of causing
physical illness due to stress and they're vulnerable passive aggressive
victim false humility pseudo image makes it they're so sneaky so it's like you're
like people really don't catch on to the vulnerable narcissist also called the
covert narcissist or the inverted narcissist as I've said in a video about
covert narcissism they don't often so many people get so hurt and so
traumatized before they've caught on and like I said you know now I've seen
online the need for doing a video about next up the coke sorry the quiet
borderline and then how is the vulnerable otherwise called covert
otherwise called inverted narcissist different from the quiet borderline
because there are some overlaps and a lot of people online are now you know
commenting on different sites and all over the place about that they think
that gee quiet borderline and vulnerable or covert narcissist they got to be
pretty much the same no they're not these are two different personality
disorders and they might have similarities but they don't they're not
the same there so going to be different manifestations so the vulnerable or
otherwise called covert narcissist is no more the same as they are over I mean
they are the same as the overt but not in presentation or the way they exhibit
this narcissism just as the quiet borderline
the raging acting out so the quiet acting in borderline and the raging
acting out for line are both people with borderline personalities or similar core
issues all same core issues really different presentations and that's the
same that's true of the covert vulnerable nurse covert also known as
vulnerable narcissist or inverted narcissist versus the classic overt
narcissist all the same core woundedness narcissistic injury emotional Arrested
Development teenager three and four but different presentations different
relational styles different ways that they're going to come across and so but
anyway I'll move on now to the next video which I hope you'll watch which
will be about the quiet borderline I hope that was helpful