- FRIDAY IS THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK.
IT'S THE DAY THAT YOU CAN WEAR SWEATPANTS TO WORK
AND NOBODY CARES.
YOU CAN CALL IN SICK AND GO SEE "THE ELLEN SHOW."
[cheers and applause]
IT'S A DAY I GET TO PLAY ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMES,
CALLED "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?"
[upbeat music]
[cheers and applause]
- OH, MY GOD!
- GOODNESS SAKES.
OH, YOU'RE SO EXCITED, AREN'T YOU?
OH, HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
LET'S FIND OUT ABOUT HER. - OKAY.
- YOU'RE SO EXCITED, AND THAT'S WHAT--
I CAME OVER TO SEE YOU 'CAUSE YOU SEEM SO EXCITED.
- [panting] I AM. - [panting] OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- KATHY. - KATHY?
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, KATHY. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
AND WHAT DO YOU DO?
- OH! - OH, MY GOD!
OH!
- I--I LIVE IN SIMI VALLEY, AND I'M A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER.
- OKAY. KINDERGARTEN?
AW, THEY'RE CUTE AT THAT AGE, AREN'T THEY?
AND THEN THEY GROW UP AND BE TROUBLEMAKERS.
[laughter]
ALL RIGHT, KATHY, WE HAVE, UH...
BASTILLE, AND SHE'S IN FRONT OF BOX NUMBER ONE.
[harp flourish]
[applause]
WELL, THEY'VE ALL DONE SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO THEIR HAIR.
WE HAVE CHIP, WHO IS IN FRONT OF CURTAIN NUMBER TWO.
[harp flourish]
[applause]
AND WE HAVE LAQUANQUA,
AND SHE'S IN FRONT OF BOX NUMBER THREE.
[applause]
WHICH--WHAT ARE YOU FEELING?
WHAT DO YOU THINK'S BEHIND SOMETHING--WHAT'S GOOD?
- I'LL DO THREE, 'CAUSE I HAVE THREE KIDS.
- OKAY, WELL, THAT'S A GOOD REASON.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE WHAT'S BEHIND NUMBER THREE.
- OH! - OH, IT'S JERGENS HAND LOTION.
- OKAY.
- IT'S NICE.
THAT'S THE ONE THAT I USED EARLIER.
IT'S HALF FULL, AND SO... [laughter]
YOUR HANDS WILL BE NICE AND SOFT
WHEN YOU'RE SHOPPING WITH YOUR $1,000 AMEX GIFT CARD.
- [screams]
[cheers and applause]
THANK YOU! - ALL RIGHT.
- THANK YOU. - HAVE A SEAT.
[cheers and applause]
HI.
HEY. - HI.
- HOW YOU DOING? - FANTASTIC.
- COME ON OUT HERE AND TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
WHERE DO YOU LIVE? WHAT DO YOU DO?
- MY NAME IS AMBER, AND I GREW UP IN L.A.
IT'S MY FIRST TIME ON THE SHOW.
AND I DID CALL IN SICK, SO...
- OH, WOW. [laughter]
SO--OH, HAVE A SEAT, EVERYBODY.
SO YOUR BOSS IS SEEING YOU RIGHT NOW.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
- I'M A TEACHER'S ASSISTANT AT THE UCLA LAB SCHOOL.
- I SEE. - YEAH.
- AND THEY'LL BE OKAY WITHOUT YOU.
- I HOPE SO.
- JUST FOR ONE DAY. - ONE DAY.
- ALL RIGHT, I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY FRONT POCKET THERE,
MY FRONT POCKET THERE, AND MY BACK LEFT CHEEK.
AND YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, AND...
[laughter]
NO, DON'T TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE THINKING,
BUT TELL ME--TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE FEELING
WOULD BE THE BEST GIFT FROM MY PANTS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
HOLD ON. LET ME REPHRASE ALL OF THAT.
THERE'S ONE REALLY GOOD THING IN MY PANT--
THAT'S NOT GOOD EITHER.
WHAT'S HAPPENING? I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.
I'M SORRY.
ALL RIGHT. [laughter]
[cheers and applause]
JUST--JUST PICK SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
I'VE LOST MY MIND, AND I APOLOGIZE.
- AM I BLUSHING TERRIBLY?
- AM I BLUSHING? - OKAY.
I WANT TO SAY YOUR LEFT CHEEK.
- YUP. - [laughs]
- I WANT TO SAY IT TOO. LET'S SAY IT TOGETHER.
MY LEFT CHEEK. - YOUR LEFT CHEEK.
- OH, WELL, YOU SAID...
- MINE, YOURS. - YOURS. OKAY.
- OKAY. [laughs]
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.
I HAVE A STARBURST PIECE OF CANDY.
THERE.
[cheers and applause]
YOU SHARE THAT WITH EVERYBODY. - OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
TELL ME YOUR NAME AGAIN. - AMBER.
- AMBER. THANK YOU SO MUCH, AMBER.
SOMETIMES, NOTHING.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- MY NAME IS CARLOTTA.
- CARLOTTA? - YES.
- ALL RIGHT, WHERE DO YOU LIVE, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?
- I LIVE IN SAN BERNADINO, AND I'M CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED.
- OKAY, SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CALL IN SICK.
- NO. [laughter]
I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T.
- TRY TO LOOK AT IT AS A POSITIVE LIKE THAT.
OKAY, WE'RE BACK OVER HERE.
WE HAVE BERNICE IN FRONT OF BOX NUMBER ONE.
[harp flourish]
CHIP IN FRONT OF BOX NUMBER--
BOTH OF THEM IN FRONT OF--
[laughter]
AND CHIP IN FRONT OF BOX NUMBER THREE.
WHAT ARE YOU FEELING?
- BOX NUMBER ONE. - BOX NUMBER ONE.
LET'S SEE WHAT'S BEHIND BOX NUMBER ONE.
OH, IT'S A VHS TAPE OF "CONEHEADS,"
MY FIRST MOVIE THAT I'VE EVER BEEN IN.
- YES! GOOD.
[applause]
- YUP.
- AND I STILL HAVE A VCR, SO...
- OH, GOOD FOR YOU. - [laughs]
- THAT'S THE FIRST MOVIE I EVER DID,
AND I THINK I'M IN IT FOR MAYBE 45 SECONDS,
SO LOOK FOR ME.
IS THERE ANYTHING BACK THERE, BERNICE, BESIDES THAT?
IT'S A FIVE-YEAR SUBSCRIPTION TO NETFLIX.
[applause]
OKAY. - OH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
- HOLD ON. HOLD ON.
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE, OR IS THAT IT?
THERE'S ONE MORE THING. IT'S A SURPRISE SCREEN.
SO WHAT'S HAPPENING OVER THERE?
THERE'S A--LET'S SEE WHAT'S BEHIND THE SURPRISE SCREEN
THAT YOU GET AS WELL.
IT'S A 50-INCH INSIGNIA TELEVISION.
[cheers and applause]
ENJOY. - THANK YOU!
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
I HAVE, UH...
[cheers and applause]
ONE MORE.
I HAVE ONE MORE.
I CAN'T--HAVE A SEAT.
I CAN'T--I CAN'T JUST HAVE ONE MORE
AND NOT GO BACK TO MY FRIEND.
- I PUT IT IN MY LEFT CHEEK.
- GOOD, KEEP IT IN YOUR LEFT CHEEK,
AND IT'LL BE NICE AND WARM AT THE END OF THE SHOW.
UH, OKAY, SO WE'RE BACK WITH OUR FRIENDS OVER HERE.
UM...CHINA IN FRONT OF BOX NUMBER ONE.
CHIP HAS BOX NUMBER TWO.
[harp flourish]
AND LALOOLA IS IN FRONT OF BOX NUMBER THREE.
WHAT ARE YOU FEELING?
- [exhales] TWO. - TWO.
LET'S SEE WHAT'S BEHIND BOX NUMBER TWO.
IT IS SOME BEAUTIFUL SUNGLASSES FROM OLIVER PEOPLES
AND A LUXURIOUS WATCH FROM BULOVA.
- OH, MY GOD.
- LET ME TELL YOU WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THAT.
THE SUNGLASSES ARE GONNA BE GREAT TO WEAR
WHEN YOU'RE HUNG OVER THE NEXT MORNING.
THE WATCH IS GONNA BE REALLY GREAT
TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS
WHEN YOU'RE WANDERING OUT IN LAS VEGAS,
BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA GO TO LAS VEGAS
TO THE COSMOPOLITAN.
[cheers and applause]
ENJOY IT. - OH, MY GOD.
- THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY "WHAT'S IN THE BOX?"
NOW WE SHALL ALL DANCE!