How to Find a Core Belief
Hello there.
We are creators.
We are extensions of what we call God or Source.
As such, we are creating our collective reality
as well as our lives
with the thoughts that we think every single day.
Even if you don't believe
that your thoughts literally weave
the fabric of our reality,
it's undeniable that the thoughts that we think,
dictate the decisions we make,
and that the decisions that we make,
plot the course of our entire lives.
So it's easy to see
how living a happy life really does depend
upon finding these thoughts and beliefs
that are painful, and changing them.
There are beliefs that we could call surface beliefs.
Beliefs like, black people are angry,
kids should clean their rooms,
I have to keep my job,
women are flaky.
These kinds of thoughts are like branches of a tree.
Each one of them is the by-product
of a deeper core belief.
The core belief is like the root of a tree.
Core beliefs are the building blocks
of the life that we're living.
They're the source from which everything grows,
and most importantly,
they are the very source of how we see ourselves,
and how we see the universe we live in.
They're both the root of the joy
and the root of the suffering in our lives.
Some examples of core beliefs are:
"I am unlovable."
"I will be hurt if I get close to someone."
Or, "There is no point to life."
Core beliefs can be positive or negative,
but for the sake of this episode,
I'm going to focus on negatives core beliefs
because they're the ones that are not working for us.
Core beliefs are mostly subconscious.
They are the result of impactful experiences
that we had in our childhoods.
Most often core beliefs are the result
of repeated experiences that are similar.
When we experience those things,
and we get those core beliefs as a result of those experiences,
they become inflexible and deeply, deeply rooted.
As a result, what we tend to do is to ignore
anything that invalidates those beliefs,
while paying attention to anything that validates them.
Thus we get more proof, thus we believe it more.
It's a never ending cycle, until this particular belief,
quite literally is the foundation
of the life that we are living.
When it comes to core beliefs
these are thoughts that we have thought so often,
that our subconscious mind has now taken them over.
Because they're a part of the subconscious mind
we are no longer aware of them.
They become a part of the human shadow.
That's why finding core beliefs
and changing core beliefs,
is a big part of shadow work.
If you want to understand more about what shadow work is,
you can watch my video on YouTube titled:
What Is Shadow Work?
That being said, we can become aware of,
and find our core beliefs.
In order to find your core beliefs,
what you have to do is to be aware
of the things that are upsetting you,
or aware of the fact that you are upset.
If you find yourself becoming upset,
what has happen is the universe has set-you-up
to find something out
that was buried in the subconscious.
When we find ourselves getting upset
we have the prime opportunity to find our core beliefs.
So when you find yourself getting upset,
you have to notice what it is that is upsetting you,
then you have to sit down and deliberately begin the process
of actively and consciously questioning your upsetness
in a very specific way to whittle these thoughts down,
to the deepest core thought
which is causing the pain in your life.
We do this with two specific questions.
The two questions that we ask are:
1. If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?
2. What does that mean to me, or mean about me?
So let's say that you notice that you become upset
because you get home
and the house is a total and complete mess.
You begin with the most surface thought that you can find,
which is in this case would be the judgement"
"The house is a mess."
I've written down an example
of a core belief finding session here
that I'm going to read to you,
that's the result of this, "the house is a mess" scenario.
So I'll read it for you now.
Let's say that we find that the house is a mess,
and that's your statement, "The house is a mess."
what you would ask is the question:
"If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?"
The answer might be,
"I live in a pigsty."
OK, I live in a pigsty.
"If that's 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean to me, or about me?"
The answer might be:
"It means no one respects my house."
OK, no one respects my house.
"If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean, or mean about me?"
The answer might be: "No one cares how I feel."
If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?
"And/or what does that mean to me, or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"It's inevitable that I'm going to be hurt by people."
"If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean to me, or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"Suffering is the purpose of life."
"If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean to me, or mean about me?"
"Life is a punishment."
"If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean to me, or mean about me?"
Answer:
"It means I'm bad."
"If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean to me, or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"I'll be unloved."
"If that is 100% true, why is that so bad?"
"And/or what does that mean to me or mean about me?"
The answer might be:
"I'm all alone."
"I'm all alone"
is the core belief in this particular scenario.
What's ironic is that,
the person who came home in this scenario,
and saw that their house was a mess,
in fact immediately had that belief triggered:
"I'm alone."
So, the very bottom core belief
correlates the very first statement;
"If house is a mess, then I'm alone."
When you're in the process of finding a core belief,
you want to be very careful about justifications.
Justifications are a kind of cop-out
to not have to see your shadow.
So an example of a justification might be something like:
"The house is messy, why would that be so bad?"
"Because it makes me feel like people don't care."
"Why would that be so bad?"
"Well because people should care
otherwise I can't feel good."
That is a cop-out, that's a justification.
When the real answer might be something like:
"Well if they don't care about me, I'm all alone."
So we have the tendency,
especially when we're right on top of the deepest core belief,
to at the very last second,
veer in the direction of justifying why
the previous thought was true,
instead of looking at why it really scares us.
Why it really is so bad.
You can apply this process of questioning
to any thought or any judgement which you can posses,
and believe me, you will be blown away
at what some of your core beliefs are.
Now it's important to understand,
that with some judgments, when you start this core belief process,
you might find multiple core beliefs.
That was the case with this previous exercise.
You may have a difficult time identifying with a core belief.
Because it's so subconscious, when you see it consciously,
it might seem absolutely ridiculous.
Or you might see that particular belief,
and feel like you're going to fall to your knees,
because it is so incredibly impactful
and so incredibly true at such a basic level of your being.
For some of these core belief exercises,
you will find multiple core beliefs.
Definitive statements about your life or yourself.
What you want to do is to work on all of these beliefs,
not just the bottom or the core one.
the one that makes you feel like:
"that's the one, I can stop right there."
"Because if I question it further, it just goes in a loop."
For example, in the above scenario which I gave you,
the thought: "No one cares how I feel,"
needs to be questioned.
So does the thought: "I am bad."
Once we find the core belief which is causing our upset
or the multiple beliefs that are lending to our upset,
we can begin to question them.
My favorite process for questioning beliefs
was actually invented by Byron Katie.
It's a process called The Work.
So I highly suggest you look into that particular process
and apply those to your core beliefs.
Then, you can go about changing those beliefs.
To learn how to change a belief,
you can look at my YouTube video titled:
How to Change a Belief
We need to begin consciously challenging these beliefs
and looking for proof that they are not true.
We also need to use these core beliefs
to determine what we would rather believe.
So once you find your core belief, ask yourself:
"What would I rather believe?"
And begin looking for proof
that this new belief is true.
Read and watch and seek out any material
that supports this new belief.
As you go about your daily life, ask yourself:
"What would I do right now if I believed
this new belief with all my heart?"
and do those things.
With enough focus, you will manifest
more proof that the new belief is true,
and the belief will become stronger and stronger,
until it has completely replaced the old core belief.
Most of us struggle for years against
beliefs that are deeply rooted within our being.
We do everything we can to push against them,
to try to succeed despite them,
when all we really need to do is to sit down,
to become conscious of these particular core beliefs,
to question the way we see them,
and to change them.
Yes it's a bit time consuming, but look at it this way;
you could spend months or years of your life,
doing everything you can
to try to pull in the opposite direction of these beliefs,
and do so moderately successfully,
if successfully at all,
because it's like trying to hang to an anchor
at the same time as trying to paddle down a stream.
Or, what you can do,
is you can take an hour or two out of your time,
focus directly at the particular core belief,
and replace it,
so that it's actually no longer creating
a challenge for you in your life.
Have a good week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte & The YouTube Community