Hi.
I'm Kristen Bell, mother of two and wife of one.
Today, I'm going to talk to some kids.
Am I a professional kid talker?
No.
Am I qualified to talk to children that aren't my own?
No.
Is that going to stop me?
Absolutely not.
Let's meet those kids.
Oh.
They're already here.
Sure kids are cute and sweet sometimes.
But what are they like when their moms are secretly
watching them behind a two-way mirror?
Want to find out?
Hi guys.
Hi.
Have you guys ever heard the phrase
what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?
No.
OK.
I'm scared.
This room is Vegas.
What?
So what you guys tell me in this room--
I have one thing.
When I was little, I opened like eight pieces of gum.
Eight.
And scrunched them up, and then I chewed them up
and swallowed them.
Can I ask you a question?
Did you pass it?
High
I passed it.
What does pass it mean?
Do you know what that means?
No.
OK.
Once, I accidentally told my mom that we took something
from Daddy's desk that he needed.
That was me.
Can I tell you there's a really good joke?
What?
This is a fart machine.
OK?
Now there are two ways to use this fart machine.
Number one, you blame it on someone else.
Option two, you take responsibility for it.
[FART NOISE]
But does anybody want to hold this remote?
Yes.
I'm going to give it to Peyton.
What reaction are you going to do?
Look at someone.
You're going to blame it on someone else?
Who are you going to blame it on?
Riley.
OK great.
Go.
[FART NOISE]
Very nice.
OK now Maya push it, and I want you to take responsibility
for it.
That was me.
The students are becoming the master.
Has your mom ever talked to you about the birds and the bees?
No.
Yeah.
Me neither.
Do you know where babies come from?
Bellies.
Mommy bellies.
That's right.
But, how did it get in the belly?
That's my question.
When it's in there and you're starting
to feel it and get it out of your belly, there's like--
it sort of looks like laundry.
Like it sort of looks like--
Yeah, because it moves.
I'm going to draw laundry inside.
And it comes out looking like an earthworm, right?
And then you wrap it up in a blanket.
It looks like a Subway sandwich.
Do you know how it gets in the belly?
Yeah.
Your mom and dad make a baby with like their privates.
That's correct.
That's absolutely correct.
And we're drawing a pregnant woman.
Although, never ask a woman if she's pregnant.
This could be--
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm pregnant.
This could also be I just had a burger.
So I highly recommend you wait for the woman to tell you.
Because I've made that mistake many times.
Do your mommies ever drink wine?
My mom does.
For real, James?
For real.
How often do your mommies drink wine?
My mom drinks wine very often.
Very often.
OK.
Last night, my dad was leaving for this job
thing, and my mom for the--
right when we got there she said I want wine to drink.
And she got wine, and for the whole entire hour
she didn't get anything.
Only wine for her drink.
Your mommy sounds fun.
And then next day, when she woke up, she didn't wake up.
One glass of wine.
And I took home an iced tea.
That's called a hangover.
My mom does that all the time.
All the time.
Your mommy sounds fun too.
No, no no no no.
Sometimes it's nice to have a little glass of wine
when you're an adult. And sometimes
with animals like you, you need it.
You feel me?
Yeah.
What do you guys call your mom?
Mama.
I call mine mommy.
Mommy.
You guys are very lucky, because you know
what I make my kids call me?
What?
Sir Kristen Bell.
Sometimes it's Your Royal Highness.
Right?
Does anyone know how to spell mom?
M O M.
Nailed it!
Watch this.
This is a trick you may not know.
Do you know what mom spells upside down?
Wow.
I mean, is that blowing your mind right now?
Because you say wow when you first meet your mom.
My heart just jumped out of my chest, ran across the street,
got a coffee, and came back in.
That was a very special thing you just said.
I got some stuff to do, and I'll be back.
OK?
OK.
[FART NOISE]
Stop it.
You guys are good.
[FART NOISE]
Ew.
Is this the first time you guys have watched your kids
through a two-way mirror?
It's nerve wracking.
We were--
Yes.
Because you never know what they're going to--
They're a representative of us out there in the world.
It's like just be good.
Yeah.
We didn't edit ourselves around our kids.
And then the other day, I yelled at her to get into bed.
I said get up in your bed now.
And she looked to me as she was climbing her ladder
and she said, man [BLEEP] are not nice.
No way.
No.
Yes.
She dropped it, and we both froze.
And then, we waited like 30 seconds.
And then he popped up to her top bunk and he said,
hey, babe, so listen.
A couple things you can't do.
You can't drive my car.
You can't drink, you can't vote, and you can't swear.
She was like OK.
So you guys.
A long, long, long, long, long time ago, I
know this might be hard to believe,
but your mom was a little kid just like you.
So tonight I want you to tuck her in bed,
kiss her on the forehead, and put yourselves to sleep.
Yes!
I always wanted to be a mom.
And moms, don't forget your night cap.
That's just a little hat that you wear on your head.
It's a hat.