Mum, I want you to know that I'm muff ruffler...
*Bursts into laughter*
Or... or... um...
"Mum am I adopted because...
I think I'm from Lesbos!"
*Laughter*
Funny
Or... or...
"Mum, I kissed a girl and i liked it"
The taste of her cherry chap-stick...
Dude!
She's 68
We've never discussed my sex life. I'm not about to start now
It's not about sex it's about identity
You know I mean I've not had sex for six years
I'm still a lesbian
*Scoffs*
If you say so
Anyway this is irrelevant because I will never have to tell her
oh really
Hmmm
Seven days and counting
I told you it was a lifestyle choice
I told you to wear the shirt
Okay let's have a look
*Doorbell rings*
Knock em dead tiger
Oh no way!
Just relax, it's supposed to be fun
Yeah for you maybe
Take a swig, lighten up
Beth, this is Kirsty
Hello
Hi
And Debs...
this is Laura
Hi
So... drinks?
Yeah
Would you like to give me a hand in the kitchen?
Um...
Sure
So Laura, what do you do?
I'm like studying fashion right now
How lovely, do you make your own clothes?
Oh god no! *Laughs*
I can't say sew, no, but I draw them
Debs loves art! Don't you?
You should tell Laura about all your art while I get some snacks
So like paintings and stuff?
More sort of practical art
Oh like interior design!
Comics mostly
Right...
Lick...
Sip...
and suck
Chips?
Mel?
I'm good thanks
Do you um... have any hobbies?
No I'm not really a joiner
No but I do like a lot of things on Facebook
I'm like... Uh... hold on wait
Have you seen Cats own the internet?
It's like a page
Oh my god that shit's genius
*Cat's meowing*
I'm allergic to cats
What you come out in a rash if you watch a video?
So... is this your first pot luck?
Yeah... I mean...
I've never even had a threesome before
Uh-huh... Well don't worry
I'm sure Mel will be really gentle with you
It's all in the cut you know?
You want to accentuate the good bits
I'd just take a lot of this fabric
I'd rip it right now but he probably wouldn't let me
and you could like to make a little looser neck
I mean you could still keep what's going on there as well
and obviously do the same on the other side. It would look really nice
Laura?
Yeah!
Do you eat meat?
Oh gross no!
No I'm like a vegan
Although sometimes i do eat cheese shhhhh!
Only cause it's so good
but i really do think that killing animals for food is barbaric...
She makes me feel like a pedophile
Debs... she's totally legal
and she's a bloody vegan
Yeah
Did you do it already?
Na the weird one with the chips totally ran cliterferance
Oh
I thought orgies were supposed to be fun
Okay so maybe they're a little bit young
I'll get someone older next time
No there's not gonna be a next time
Hey!
At least stay for dinner
You know, if you want to keep punishing Mel fill your boots
but I'm happy as I am. On my own
Is that what you think this is about?
Have you spoken to your mother yet?
Look I'll see you later
Did you see Billy's post?
Her party is going off!
You have a lovely house
I'm- I'm
I'm wanting something meaty
How about...
some spare ribs?
Are they good?
Huh... they are my favorite
Yup... yeah
Can I grab a name?
Debs
Sweet, grab a seat Debs that will be about 15 minutes
Am I being punished?
I like to think that we've both moved on
I can come with you, you know?
To tell your mum
Thanks...
but I'm fine