Hello Internet - what’s going on - my name’s Jack Finch, I’m new here, but I’m eager
to be asking some of Life’s Biggest Questions.
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Today we’re asking the question - What If The Tanystropheus Didn’t Go Extinct?
Now you all know the story - dinosaurs, lizards and reptiles crawling around for millions
of years - then BOOM - asteroid hits, they’re all pretty much dead.
But what if we stop and wonder for a moment, how would this green Earth look if a 20-foot
long reptile from the Middle Triassic period was still around today.
At 6-metres long, which is roughly the same size as George Washington’s nose on Mount
Rushmore, the Tanystropheus was a pretty imposing figure.
It’s extremely elongated neck also stretched an extra 3-metres - which is roughly the size
of a small car.
Now, there are several theories that place the Tanystropheus as an aquatic reptile, while
others say that they were purely an on land creature - but the general consensus is that
the Tanystropheus was semi-aquatic.
Which makes things a little bit more terrifying for our big question.
We know that there are sharks in the ocean - and generally we can avoid them.
There are lions in the jungle - and, yeah, generally we can avoid them.
But when there’s both land and sea to contend with, and a 20-ft long demon lizard with razor
sharp teeth can pop out of a river and chase you back to your house - now that’s what
I call /real fear/.
Fossilised remains of the Tanystropheus have been found in a multitude of places across
the planet - from central and southern Europe, to Central Asia, the Middle East and China.
Now let’s picture a modern world where these crazy long necked creatures are roaming around
freely.
You’re on vacation in Southern Italy, canoeing down a river in Florence - when instead
of angry birds to contend with, you’ve got a giant Tanystropheus swooping past your paddle.
Or maybe you’re out exploring in the rolling countryside of China, and instead of packing
your mosquito repellent - you’ve got to cover yourself with anti-Tanystropheus spray.
Don’t get me wrong - most modern palaeontologists agree that the Tanystropheus was, for the
most part, a pretty chill guy.
Recent studies have concluded that the creature’s diet revolved mainly around that of a Piscivore.
Basically, unless they were on the brink of starvation, the Tanystropheus was generally
happy with chowing down on fish, squid - and you know, probably some nice beer-battered
calamari.
Because of their strange set of teeth in their rear jaws, the Tanystropheus have often been
compared to several species of modern seal - particularly the hooded seal, and the crabeater
seal.
So, it wouldn’t be absurd to imagine a flock of these weird little guys swimming around
the coast, and surprising a boat full of tourists out on vacation.
They’d whip out their phones, take a few shots for their Insta - and hashtag Tany selfie
would probably be a little bit more common than hashtag-Tana-con.
Yikes.
Research has also compared the Tanystropheus hunting regime to that of a common heron.
You know those guys - big long necks - wading around in the water, pecking away at little
fish.
When you compare the two, you can also see some pretty incredible similarities, you know,
minus the wings and several hundred million years of evolution.
Now, there are a whole group of people - and a surprising amount of YouTube videos, who
are obsessed with watching the way that a heron hunts.
They hunt frogs, rats - any kind of tiny little creature you can imagine, there’s probably
a YouTube video of a heron hunting it.
Seriously, check it out.
I was surprised myself.
So, imagine that with the Tanystropheus.
There’d be amateur ornithologists staking out in huge, tall trees - just to avoid it’s
3 metre long neck.
I mean, how can you even camouflage yourself against that?
The Tanystropheus is a pretty huge dude - they’re going to be /fairly/ hard pressed to sneak
up on him, all for the sake of a 43 second video clip.
But I mean - would they even be eating fish and frogs?
At 20 feet tall, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the Tanystropheus wouldn’t
exactly be prey.
I mean - which predator is out there taking a pop at the Tanystropheus?
Versus a mountain lion?
My money’s on Tany.
Versus a bear?
Still Tany - and who’s to say that they wouldn’t have already had a taste for human
meat, and now suddenly, we’re on the menu.
Whatever the answer, a world where the Tanystropheus didn’t go extinct, would be a pretty magical
place to exist.
Anything with a 3-metre long neck is a majestic sight to behold, just as the sun’s going
down - and a herd of them are frolicking through a valley like in Jurassic Park.
That’s it - they’d be just like giraffes.
That could swim.
And we’re also /absolutely/ terrifying.
That’s all we’ve got time for today guys - thanks for tuning in, make sure to hit that
subscribe button down below to stay updated.
This has been Life’s Biggest Questions - I’ve been your host Jack Finch, and for now - take
it easy.