-Our next guest stars in the comedy special
"Entre Nos: The Winners 3," available now on HBO Max.
Making his late-night debut, please welcome the very funny
Ralph Barbosa.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-Thank you. Thank you.
It is such an honor to be here making my late-night debut.
Yes. [ Cheers and applause ]
Especially because my grandmother, who raised me,
she's a huge fan of comedy.
If you would have told her that, one day, I'd be here on
"The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon,"
she probably would have said, "Qué?"
Because she doesn't know English.
[ Laughter ]
I love living at my grandma's.
When you're being raised by an old woman
who doesn't speak English, you grow up with zero consequences.
Like, I used to get phone calls from school.
But who do you think she needed to translate these calls?
That's right. I ran that house.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Anytime anybody called the house speaking English,
she'd put the house phone on speaker
and she would be like, "Who is it?
What are they saying?"
And I'd act like I'm listening real hard
and I would be like,
"Man, Grandma, they're talking really fast.
It's kind of hard to understand,
but they're saying something about...
p-proof of residency?"
She's like, "Hang up." I'm like, "If you say so."
[ Cheers and applause ]
I lived with my mom for a while, too, and she was cool.
She never really kept my dad around,
but she always kept father figures around.
I actually ran into my mom's ex-boyfriend the other day.
He's doing really good.
He was right -- we were holding him back.
[ Laughter ]
He has a car now.
I approached him. I had to.
I was like, "Dude, if this is what getting away
from my mom looks like, I'm ready, man."
I recently became a father. I have a beautiful baby boy.
Mm-hmm. [ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you.
Yeah, it's great.
But it's also very scary having a baby at a young age.
I feel like I'm a new employee
who just got put to train an even newer employee.
'Cause I just look at my son like,
"I don't -- I haven't been here that long, man."
I could show you where we eat. That's about it."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
But it is amazing watching him learn things and grow.
Like, he's walking now. He knows how to ask for food.
I was like, "Dang. I've taught you all I can, son.
From here on out, we learn together."
I like buying him lots of sneakers,
'cause I'm big on sneakers.
Last month, I went a little crazy.
I bought us like eight pairs of shoes --
four for me, four for my baby boy.
He doesn't fit into a size 9 yet,
so I wear his half for now, but...
[ Cheers and applause ]
I love being a dad.
He does embarrass me sometimes in public.
Like, we go to the mall together a lot,
and he'll be walking next to me.
And he stares at everybody we walk past.
And whenever he sees a really pretty girl,
he'll let go of my hand, walk up to the girl,
and ask her to carry him.
And I have to be like, "Hey, I'm so sorry about that.
I think my son just wants us to go out for drinks."
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I recently moved out from home for the first time ever.
I got my first apartment.
Yeah. Thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]
It's a small apartment, but I love it.
I'm very proud of it.
I've been trying to show it off,
mostly to get girls to notice me.
Like, everywhere I go, I take my lease with me now
and just let it hang out my pocket a little bit.
The other day, I acted like
I accidentally dropped it by a girl.
She picked it up.
She was like, "Hey, you dropped this piece of paper."
I was like, "Oh, man, did I drop my 13-month lease?"
It was like, "You keep that.
That's you right there."
Now, to be 100% honest, I do want the apartment
to get girls to notice me, but after that deposit
and that one furniture I bought,
I don't really have money left for dating.
Like, I've approached one girl at a bar.
I was like, "Hey, what's up? What are you drinking?"
And she was like, "A Crown and Coke."
I was like, "Nice."
And that was as far as I could afford to go.
But then I told myself, "I shouldn't overthink it."
So, I was like, "You know what? I'mma go for it."
And I said...
"Could you buy me one, too, please?"
I'm Ralph Barbosa. Thank you guys so much.
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
-That's how you do it right there.
That's how you do it.
Ralph Barbosa!
[ Cheers and applause ]
"Entre Nos: The Winners 3" is available now on HBO Max.
We'll be right back, everybody. Ralph Barbosa.