Hey, everybody!
Today, I want to talk with you about navigating awkward conversations during the holidays.
Stay tuned.
[intro music] (tune of "Deck the Halls")
So, like I said, I wanted to talk to you about
navigating awkward conversations.
I hear from a lot of you that the main stress is,
"What do I say when my aunt/cousin/uncle/sister/brother/mother, who knows,
asks me, 'So, what are you doing? So how's that job going? How's school?'
and we're not doing any of those things."
Maybe we've taken time off because we went inpatient.
Maybe we've been in the hospital.
Maybe we just got fired.
Maybe we talked to HR, and we're taking a mental health break.
God only knows;
there's a zillion reasons we aren't in school, at work, whatever.
And we only see these people a couple times a year,
so... what are we supposed to say to them?
And... how are we supposed to say it?
So I came up with a few ideas.
And hopefully these help.
But remember, we don't have to tell them anything we don't want to!
And you don't have to tell everybody your business.
That is completely up to you.
But something that I cannot emphasize enough
is prepare ahead of time!
Think about it. Think about the questions that people are most likely to ask.
And they're not necessarily asking them in a mean way,
or trying to get a rise out of you;
a lot of times, it's just making conversation.
And so with holidays, like let's say when we're around friends,
you can always prepare for the, "Oh, where's your family?"
or, "Not able to go home this year?"
Or... any number of questions like that.
Also, when we're around our own family, they'll say, "So, how's [blank] going?"
The last thing they knew you were doing. Maybe it may have been a year ago.
But it's the last thing they know.
"So, how's school going?" "How's that job going?"
"How's that boyfriend, girlfriend"... whatever, they're going to ask about it.
So, be prepared for that.
Think about it. What are the things they're most likely to ask?
Because it's, honestly, not always done maliciously;
it's just making conversation.
So that helps us get started in preparing.
One of the first ideas I come up with — and it's actually my favorite —
and it's something that Carly has, um, told me she does when her family asked,
because it's really uncomfortable sometimes.
And this is a great thing to say.
So what do we say? Here we go.
Starting the quote.
"I am part of a wonderful online community that is
changing the way people access mental health information.
It's really powerful, and we're worldwide. Pretty cool."
What is their comeback to that?
They — now, whatever they're doing just sounds really stupid.
So, you just owned that conversation.
Boo-yah!
Right? And you can all say that; every last one of you.
You don't have to — there's no prerequisites. I give you full permission.
You're part of it. Hello. Okay.
Now — I have my notes, so that's what I'm looking at —
and then the other thing I want to say, and another option that I always come up with,
and things that I've done in my own life,
is if I don't really like the person,
or if I feel like they're really probing and asking questions they don't deserve the answers to,
I always just say, "Oh, you know, same old, same old,
just busy with work and school and whatever, so what's going on with you?"
Just completely changed the conversation.
I gave them nothing. I don't even know if I'm at work or at school.
No one needs to know. Whatever.
And you ask them about them.
So that's something that you could prepare ahead of time.
Come up with questions for them.
So if they ask you, and you feel like, "Aah... I don't know what to say",
you can just say, "Oh, you know, same old, same old, I'm still doing the school thing"...
even if you're not...
and then, boom. Ask them a question.
"So, how's that daughter of yours that's doing... whatever?"
It always works! People love to talk about themselves.
And you can always change the subject by asking them something about themselves.
So those are just some ideas.
And... I know many of you have wonderful ideas.
And so I ask that you put those wonderful ideas in the comments, because
that just really helps us all feel more prepared.
We're going to have a lot of weird parties and get-togethers with people we don't usually see.
And... what are we supposed to say?
"I'm part of an online community, changing the way people access mental —" You heard it.
It's pretty good. Thanks, Carly. It's a good one.
But there are so many things that we can say
and ways that we can, you know, navigate that kind of minefield that it can feel like
in family gatherings.
So, I hope you found this helpful,
click here to subscribe, I put out videos all the time
and you don't want to miss 'em,
and I'm all over the interwebs.
And I'm really enjoying Snapchat.
It's katimorton1, all together,
you can check it out and see what I'm doing in my life daily,
if you care about that stuff.
Bye!
[voice in background] And... we're rollin'...
Rollin'...
Always makes me think of that — uh, Clueless music,
[singing] "rollin' with the homies..."
That so speaks to the fact that I'm thirty-two...
[singing] Good videos in the '90s...
Okay. [?]
Oh. [something said in the background] Mmhm. [laughs]
[coughs]
You know what I'm talking about, right?
And she does this, like — there's a move.
It's the "rolling with the homies", that's all I know. I don't even know the rest of the lyrics.
Thank you, Clueless.
Okay.