As the dating and relationship coach since 2003, I fielded thousands of questions, and not
surprisingly, many of those questions are the same question asked differently. Women routinely ask me
if they're being too picky, if they should settle on a lack of chemistry. The answer, of course,
is no. Women routinely ask me why men would have sex if they're not interested in a long-term
commitment. The answer, of course, is because sex is fun. Women routinely ask me if there are any
quality men in their area because they are positive they are not. The answer, of course,
is that there are quality men in your area. Which leads me to today's dating advice for women. The
number one question that all of my clients ask, where can I find a cute, smart, successful,
commitment-oriented man? In the next few minutes, I’m going to answer that question. Stick around.
I'm Evan Marc Katz, dating coach for smart, strong, successful women and your personal
trainer for love. Welcome to the Love U podcast. Keep listening to discover where
you could find a cute, smart, successful, commitment-oriented man. When we're done,
I'll let you know how you could apply to Love U to create a passionate relationship that makes
you feel safe, heard, and understood. So, if you've been listening to me for a while,
you already know the answer to this question. And it's not the one that you want to hear.
I gave this answer in a TED talk. I offer it in week one of Love U. And as far as I could tell,
it's still one hundred percent true. Asking where you can find your husband is the wrong question.
Anyone who attempts to answer this question seriously is just bullshitting you. You don't
start playing golf to meet men, you don't become a salsa dancer to meet men, you don't go to business
networking events to meet men. You can meet men there, but you should never take up a hobby
just to go on a husband hunt. Honestly, my brain almost fell out. I once heard Patti Stanger,
Millionaire Matchmaker, say that if you want to meet a lawyer, stand outside a courthouse.
It made me want to throw my phone across the room. This is stupid advice. So, going out to
places where men are isn't real dating advice. What is the answer to the question? Probably got
to be online dating, right? So, now the question becomes, which online dating site has all the
cute, smart, successful, commitment-oriented men on it? None of the losers, just the good ones.
Which site is the best for that? Is it Match? Is it Tinder? Bumble? Hinge? Or is it something
a little more elitist like The League or Raya? Something more niched like J-Date or Farmers Only?
The answer is none of them. There is no one dating site
that filters out the bad guys and leaves only the good ones. There are basic principles of
the universe which we talk about in Love U. 90% of men on any dating site are worthless,
so don't worry about it when the wrong men write to you. That's fine. You're an Ivy League school,
90 percent of applicants are not going to be able to get in. That's OK.
Stay open to the 10% and you can make any online dating site work for you. Thus, the answer to
the question, where do I find him is akin to what gym am I going to lose the most weight at?
You know, and I know that even though some gyms have nicer equipment or a broader array of
classes, what determines how much weight you lose is not a function of the gym you go to. It's you.
So, this question, where can I find my husband? Where is he? As if searching is the issue, it has
an internal solution, not an external one. It's not, where is he? It would be better framed if you
ask the question, who am I being that is going to make an amazing man want to date me wherever I go,
and then, going out and being that woman that men would want to approach on Match, at salsa class,
outside the courthouse. Becoming that woman is your answer, not where do I go. If you think the
biggest problem is the lack of men, the lack of quality men, the lack of quality men in your area,
the lack of quality of men in your area on a given dating site, you're missing the point.
Men are everywhere. It only takes one to change your entire destiny. So instead of thinking that
you have to move cities or find the right dating site where all the great guys are, that you
magically haven't been told about. The best thing you can do right now is go to the link below,
apply for Love U and I will show you how to be the woman who can meet quality guys wherever she goes.
Have you spent too much time trying to figure out where to meet him instead of who you are
being that is going to attract him? Please comment below. I'll see you again next week.
And I want to continue this conversation about how you could be the kind of person
who attracts men wherever she goes instead of looking for the place where the great guys
are hiding because they really are everywhere. My name is Evan Marc Katz. Thank you for tuning
in to the Love U podcast. For more episodes like this on YouTube, click on the subscribe button,
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And if you want to find love right now and you're committed to making healthier choices with men
so you can have an easy relationship in which you feel safe, heard, and understood,
look for the link below and apply for coaching in Love U. I'll talk to you soon.