thank you thank you for having me you're
covered up tonight last time you were on
the show you know off the ring plunging
neckline thing the giant man boobs were
out was on the show you know I thought
you know so you thought you can't
compete with Pam Anderson you know
seconds my friend told me you nose like
it was bigger than me
all right now it is where we have you on
the show tonight for a purpose my friend
which is that it's Valentine's Day on
Sunday and we thought who could give
better Valentine's Day tips than Fabio
okay okay here we go
I am Fabio I will know what to do no
one's question Fabio I'm gonna say Fabio
as many times as I can in this interview
so what you want to do okay
let's see you won't indulge those five
senses five senses yes so you want to
cook for your girlfriend a very romantic
dinner okay no home delivery just
wank in the microwave nice nice home
meal okay and candlelight and everything
and I brought you a Valentine present
you know of course you know I can't
believe it's not butter
that that's the secret that was the
lowest is the secret Fabio in five and a
half years on the air that was the
lowest and I'm holding it out ah oops I
dropped it after that you cook a dinner
yeah kind of like dinner yes put some
nice romantic music on the background
right massage missa what you're
massaging her it's just before the meal
or after this after the meal Oh
after the meal Jews I can't believe he's
got letters after their you know bubble
bath you still can't believe it's not
butter
it's been years believe it I still can't
believe it are you starting to think
it's possible that it's butter it's so
good you can't tell the difference what
if I produce some scientists who could
tell you it's not butter okay all right
so that after there you know a nice
bubble bath bubble bath a bath
yeah you know women love bubble baths
and you get in the bubble bath with the
woman with the woman laughter you move
to the bedroom in front of the fireplace
but you're covered with bubbles at this
point no no you get dry and everything
you move it into the room okay you just
kind of slip into the room right dripped
into the room okay and you can start
acting some bet night story like acting
a bad night store yeah like Little Red
Riding Hood and the bed wolf so now I'm
curious which one are you
[Applause]
you're the big bad wolf aren't you
rascal you
what's the you're very successful with
women Fabio that's why I adore you I
looked up to you're my role model what
is it what's the longest you've gone
without having a date do you think like
in the last year or two like what's the
longest Fabio goes because that is your
name Fabio what is the longest Fabio
Fabio what is the longest that you go
without a date the longest the one in
the last year yeah hmm about two weeks
two weeks yeah now you're just tearing
your hair out when Fabio is with that
what has happened what's gone wrong how
is the system failed when two weeks go
by and Fabio has not been with a woman
was the tough time in my life in a coma
yeah and actually the coma lasted three
weeks yeah I heard a nurse came yeah now
last time Fabio was on the show people
love to hear about the backstage stories
uh-huh the show is over and we're
walking out and Fabio puts his arm
around me and he says Conan you must
come out to LA and come see my apartment
it's got the most amazing stereo now you
apparently have a legendary stereo
system tell us about this stereo well
you know the speakers they're so big
they will blow your clothes off huge
want me to see these speakers
[Applause]
yeah that makes it better no no I just
want to see your girlfriend naked I
meant no harm
what a mean today are they really that
powerful how big of these speakers yeah
but and then and a half feet tall that's
crazy
you live in the speaker yeah you know I
love music yeah I just love music right
you know it's like that's is one of my
hobbies how powerful are they very
powerful and what kind of music you
listen to on them bless you
Iraq modern jazz new age music yep
that's really good when you crank it up
you want to really hear the bass on the
new ways on the new age music funky bass
you um I got to ask you about your book
you you you wrote a book called champion
now tell us what how what's the process
of writing the book huh well is that you
on the cover I guess it is yeah that's
what I was talking about earlier I get a
shot of the the man-boob right there
that is what what yeah it's it's very
simple I come out with all the plots and
ideas and I have a ghostwriter that's
the right ghostwriter okay right and how
involved were you with the ghostwriter I
love America you don't know what the
hell you don't know in the world you
haven't read this book have you pocket
[Applause]
the character in here Ignatius who's
Ignatius
[Applause]
I forgive you because you are Fabio
[Applause]