The Thinking Atheists presents: You gotta be shittin me.
Of all the faith-based organizations in the world, one of the most...uh... unique...is
the church of Scientology. Scientology was created by science-fiction
writer L. Ron Hubbard, who is also the author of one of the church's sacred texts, "Dianetics:
The Modern Science of Mental Health." According to Scientology, we each have an
immortal inner spirit or "thought unit" called a "theta." The thetans were banished to earth
75 million years ago by the evil galactic ruler Xenu, where they took up residence inside
physical human bodies. Thetans get reincarnated into new bodies every time we die.
At our core, our theta has god-like powers, but the traumatic experiences from our physical
lives have caused our inner theta to forget its true nature. These experiences must be
exposed and removed through a process the church of Scientology calls "auditing."
For up to $1000 an hour, with treatment spanning many years, auditing happens in stages on
"The Bridge To Total Freedom," where a device called the "E-Meter" measures the static field
around the body, to determine if you're being spiritually chained by past experiences.
Your past experiences are hidden from conscious memory, are trapped in your physical body,
and they can apparently cause sickness, mental illness and limitations on your life in every
way. So...they've got to go! Your ultimate goal is to shed these chains
to achieve the rank of "operating thetan," where you once again become god-like and can
consciously control matter, energy, space, time, thought and life.
Oh...a few pesky details: * The entire process can cost you up to $500,000
* The E-Meter was rejected by the medical establishment, bears a warning label saying
it's not designed to treat any condition, and can only be used under the umbrella of
"spiritual counseling. * At the time of his death in 1986, L. Ron
Hubbard was being pursued by the IRS for skimming an estimated $200 million from his own church.
He died before the matter went to trial. * L. Ron Hubbard's wife and 10 other top Scientologists
did prison time in the 1980s for interfering with government investigations into the church's
business practices. * An expose by Time Magazine and several high-level
defectors have alleged that the church of Scientology practices money laundering, harassment
of its detractors, surveillance and bugging, frivolous lawsuits, threats and physical assaults.
They're like the mob, only they have better spokespeople...including Tom Cruise, John
Travolta, Priscilla Presley, Isaac Hayes, and the late Sonny Bono.
So shake off those physical chains and become the god you were destined to be! All it takes
is an open mind. And...a second mortgage.
And join us again next time for another exciting and informative chapter of