Hey there, this is Clay with RelationshipInnerGame.com and in this video we're going to be talking
about the key to getting back together with your ex.
So when you're trying to save your relationship, whether that's with your ex or whether that's
with somebody that you haven't broken up with or whether that's a marriage or something
like that and the other person has, maybe it was bad before, but then it had gotten
really bad to where the other person just gave up or walked out the door or something
like that.
It can often seem really difficult to get through to that person.
Apologizing doesn't work and maybe it used to work before or buying a romantic gift used
to make things better, but it doesn't work anymore or swearing up and down that things
are going to be different.
Maybe it would have been helpful before, but now it doesn't work anymore.
And it seems like the entire rules of the game have completely changed.
And you're like, what happened?
And it's true, the entire rules of the game did change, everything did change and if you
try to keep going at it, using the old rules from before using what used to work, when
the two of you were in a nice, healthy, relatively healthy, relationship where your partner,
your ex would communicate with you, would talk to you, would be open and willing to
work things out with you, then you're going to continue to have problems.
So, an example of this is I recently moved to a new place and, when we were moving, we,
got a new key for the new place and we still had the old key for the old place because
we had to make trips back and forth to move things over.
So one thing that happened was I was trying to open a door to our new place and I had
like boxes and stuff in my hands and I was like trying to hold them and balance them
while I was reaching in my pocket and trying to pull out the key to open the door and,
just out of a force of habit just because I had opened the door to my old home many,
many, many times, I just grabbed that key because it was familiar.
It was the usual thing and I tried to put it in the lock to open the door, but it didn't
work obviously because I was in the new place.
And, if you're trying to obviously open a door with the wrong key, it's not going to
open.
Right?
And it's exactly the same way when it comes to saving a relationship or getting back together
with your ex or making a relationship work or anything like that.
Right?
There are different keys that you need in order to open that door.
And if you continue to try to open the door to saving your relationship or getting your
ex back using the same key that you would use to have a good relationship or communicate
well with somebody that you are in a relationship with, then yes, you're going to struggle and
yes, it's going to be very hard.
So what you need to do is you need to put that key away, essentially pocket all of those
relationship skills that maybe would have worked fine before when things were relatively
stable, and you need to take on a new set of skills.
And of course, these are the Advanced Relational Skills that we talk about inside of the Ex
Solution Program course and that we talked about in our newsletters over at RelationshipInnerGame.com,
to help people to communicate better, connect better, and find more of that common ground,
that empathy, that understanding, that deep emotional bonding, right?
Because if you already have that deep emotional bonding, like if you're in a pretty healthy,
stable relationship, then yeah, you know, if you screw up in some way you can make an
apology.
You can promise that things will be different moving forward, maybe even buy a gift or something
like that.
But if you don't have that emotional bonding, then those sorts of things won't work.
It just won't work.
Right?
It'd be like if you just went up to a stranger on the street and you tried to give them a
gift or something like that.
You know, sure, they might take the gift, but they probably wouldn't necessarily want
to be your friend or anything like that.
So, you really want to make sure that you use the right key to open the door to get
back together with your ex.
And that's why it's important to focus on the emotional connection between you and your
ex rather than things like apologizing, things like promising that it will be different,
things like expecting your ex and you to be able to communicate in the same way that you
used to communicate when you're in a relationship, as far as like a texting each other and being
able to expect them to respond to immediately or them dropping everything that they're doing
to be able to talk to you or work things out with you or meet up with you or things like
that.
Right?
You have to be able to drop that kind of programming because that key is not going to open the
door to getting back together with your ex and as long as you keep trying to use the
wrong key, you're going to end up with really poor results and you're gonna end up getting
frustrated and you're gonna end up wondering why things don't work.
And that's one of the main reasons why people think that it's impossible to get back together
with an ex.
it's not that it's impossible, it's just that most people never bothered to put away the
old key, the key to their old house, so to speak, and take out a new key that will open
up a new door.
And so if you want to learn more about how to do all of this, if you want to learn more
about what sort of skills you need in order to open that new door, then head on over to
our website RelationshipInnerGame.com, and you can go ahead and sign up for our newsletter
so that we can help give you some advice, some tips, some strategies to help you get
through to the person that you love and help get you on the right track to have the sort
of relationship that you want in the long run.
Again, this has been Clay with RelationshipInnerGame.com.
If you like what we're doing here with this channel, please go ahead and give us a "thumbs
up," subscribe to the channel or leave some comments down below.
Get some discussion going.
And of course we'll talk to you again in the next video.
Thank you very much and I'll see you next time.