Question of the day: So, how do you go out to events and have fun when you're not drinking
and it seems like everybody else is. So, three quick tips that will help you with that, because
it's so tough, sometimes. You can have the right motivation. Everything can be in order,
but if you don't know how to have a good time when drinking, it's easy to slide back into
that because you're like, "This sucks," right? "I'm standing here in the corner and I'm not
talking to anybody. I want to have fun." So, here are the three tips.
The first one is to take the good parts of drinking and emulate them. And what I mean
by that is that drinking does do some things for people. We wouldn't do it otherwise, right?
It helps us lower our inhibitions. It makes us more like we'd introduce ourselves to people.
We play stupid, silly games, and what I see is when people first stop drinking, they
think that they have to stop that. They have to behave proper, they can't participate in
the games. It's all b.s. So, if there is a fun drinking game going on, play with water.
If people give you a hassle about that, just go back to the video about "What to Say When
You're Not Drinking." It has never been a problem for me. If you are standing there
and you see that you're against the wall, and people are starting to mingle, and the people
getting drunk are starting to get more talkative, be the more talkative person first, right?
If you set it up as a challenge to yourself to say, "You know what? I'm going to see if
I can have more fun, be more outgoing, more friendly than anybody else here, even though
I'm not drinking," that intention will carry over into everything that you do, and you'll
find that you have a much better time, because, one, you're in control, but, two, you're still
getting a lot of the benefits. Two, change your state through dancing. Now, the funny
thing about dancing is that if you ask people whenever they're out, they will tell you that
they intend to wait until they're very, very drunk before they start dancing, right? "I'm
going to dance when I'm drunk." The funny thing about that is that dancing and drinking, while
they might be, you know, have different requirements, dancing seems to take a lot of courage, drinking
doesn't. They have the same effect in a lot of ways. When you go out into the dance floor,
and just for two minutes, cut it up, dance like a maniac, your inhibitions get lower.
You feel much more comfortable. You feel more expressive in your body. You're more likely
to touch people.
So, what I highly, highly recommend is that rather than just staying locked up like this,
you know, completely inexpressive, go to the middle of the dance floor. If there's not
a dance floor, you should bob around. Find a spot where you feel comfortable. That can
be being seen by lots of people. It might be being seen by nobody in the very center.
But for two minutes, take your friends, get a circle, and set up like a dance party goof-off
challenge thing, right, where you just mess around, and everybody jumps in the middle
and does a ridiculous move, and stay there for two minutes while dancing a ton; not just
bobbing back and forth, but getting your elbows off of the sides, moving your hands. What
you will find, and, Amy Cuddy, a scientist at Harvard did a study on this, is that when
you move your body, and you put into what they call a "power pose," that's the standing
confident, when you move your body in a fun pose, and you're smiling, and laughing, and
doing the limbo, and goofing around, your brain actually will send those sorts of signals
that you would get from drinking, which is to be less inhibited, to not care as much
what other people think, and after only two minutes, you will start to feel differently
than you did when you walked onto that dance floor. It is awesome. It carries over for
a long, long time, and, sometimes, through the duration of the day, event, or night,
or wherever you're at. So, make sure that you get into your body. You get expressive,
man. When you stand against the wall, you sabotage yourself.
And the third thing that it might seem a little bit downer to do it, but it's just stop going
to events that suck, right? Don't go to events where the entire point of it is to get drunk,
and there's no way to have fun there unless you're drinking, and there are bars like this.
There are some, even, sporting events that are like this, where nobody cares about the
game. The entire purpose is just to drink. If people invites you to those, you can still
go, but I would recommend is a counter offer, to say, "Hey, man, I can't make it today,
but I was looking at paintball next weekend. Do you want to come?" Or say, "Hey, man, I
can't make it to that, but I'm getting a group together to do dinner at my place on Thursday,
are you in?" And, when you start to get more creative like that, well, guess what? You're
doing fun events that people are going to enjoy way more because you don't need to be
sloshed to do it. But, secondly, you shift from the spoke of any sort of social environment
where you're being invited, and you're just one person of many, to become the hub. You're
the person setting up the fun events because you're the only one that truly cares that
the event itself is killer, and it is not just helped along by everybody being drunk,
and not knowing what is going on. So, really, stop going to events that are no fun at all.
If you don't like dance clubs--I happen to--don't go to those. Invite your friends, invite people
to something else that is fun. And, just some ideas--paintball, laser tag, bowling, any
thing that has an event, and has something to do there, right? There is an activity that
is going to be way more fun.
So, hopefully, that helps you to have more fun when you're out. If you want more videos
like this, I think this is it for the drinking series, but if there's more questions, go
ahead, ask me. I've been doing this for a long time, happy to help. Write those in the
comments. Subscribe to get more from the channel, breakdowns and everything, and I will see
you in the next video.