When did all say a wife of your son should be your choice?
Once someone told me, well, at the time of Ibrahim (as)
he came to the door and he told that woman, Tell your husband
to change the doorstep.
And that meant that the father was instructing his son to
divorce the wife.
Therefore, fathers are allowed to instruct their sons to
divorce their wives. I said.....
In Surah An-Nisa, which is obviously dedicated to the women.
One thing that is clear in the Surah;
Allah has repeated the issue of Justice several times in the Surah.
Now it is never a coincidence for Allah subhanaw Taala.
Many of us are guilty for not being just when it comes to our women folk;
Be it our wives, be it our mothers, our sisters, sometimes
our daughters and even our in-laws and so on.
We ask Allah (swt) to grant us a sense of Justice.
I want to remind you that when you came on to the Earth,
you came without any clothing.
You were born with nothing.
You owned nothing, you had nothing, you brought nothing,
and you came with nothing.
And when you will leave, you will leave, in fact, with two
pieces of cloth, which is a bonus from what you actually came with.
When you go into your grave, they will give you an honorary
two pieces of cloth, subhanAllah, or three, perhaps.
May Allah (swt) grant us an understanding that
when we came, we brought nothing.
When we are going to leave, we will leave with nothing Besides our deeds.
So this whole world is actually there for us to do as many
good deeds as we can.
Allah will throw into your examination;
Women, wives, children, parents, siblings, in-laws, business partners, whoever else.
Allah throws them into your test in order to see what do you do?
We know what's going to happen in your life,
but We want to see how you react, how you retaliate, what you do,
how you are, how you develop.
And this is why, when it comes to laws of money, there is
no other Act of worship that Allah has mentioned in such
great detail than that of the wealth that you leave behind
when you die.
Subhanallah, the detail is so so fine that you cannot go wrong.
There are very few minor differences of opinion when it comes to inheritance.
So I call on you, my brothers and sisters, to learn the rules
of inheritance, to learn that the money is not yours.
The wealth that you found on Earth belonged to Allah.
You will leave and the wealth will continue.
But you might lose sometimes people say, I have got five sons.
1 was not so nice to me.
So when I leave, I want to block him.
Now, that's a very interesting statement, because you feel
perhaps that this one son was not so nice to me.
Or maybe his wife wasn't a choice of mine.
la ilaha illallah,
When did Allah say a wife of your son should be your choice?
Once someone told me, well, at the time of Ibrahim (as)
he came to the door and he told that woman, Tell your husband
to change the doorstep.
And that meant that the father was instructing his son to
divorce the wife.
Therefore, fathers are allowed to instruct their sons to
divorce their wives.
I said, No way.
You are not Ibrahim (as)
And that instruction was not revelation from Allah.
Subhanallah, the day someone claiming to be well,
you and I know prophethood is over.
But when the Prophet said it, Ibrahim (as), it was something different.
Today, for some petty reasons, your father could tell you divorce your wife.
What is right for you to do;
You need to ask yourself, Is my father right, or is my wife right?
Amazing verse!
Allah says, o you who believe, stand steadfast for Justice for the
sake of Allah, whether it be against your own parents or
your relatives, your children, whoever it may be the rich or the poor.
Sometimes people side with the rich.
Have you noticed that, the rich man is always right?
Because, you know, if I say he's wrong, I'm going to have a problem here.
Allah says Allah comes before both of them.
That wealth.
What is it?
Allah says, reach your poor.
You side with who is right.
Your father,
Your mother.
Recently I released a little lecture where I said, Who is right,
your mother or your wife?
The answer is, or who do you love more?
The answer is, when it comes to who is right, you've got
to look at what the issue is.
If your mother is wrong, respectfully, very kindly, you can
actually correct her, or you can move away in order to portray
your dissatisfaction.
Ibrahim (as) beautifully told his father, Oh, my father,
I have some knowledge that did not come to you;
Follow me, I'll guide you to the right path.
Subhanallah, if we were to tell that to our fathers,
we'd be kicked out of the house, Right?
That's what happened to Ibrahim (as).
He was kicked out of the whole community.
They threatened him, but he said it so beautifully.
Do you know what he says?
Oh, my father, I fear that perhaps the punishment of the
most merciful will get to you.
Look at the contrast.
On one hand, he's describing Allah is ar- Rahman the most merciful, right?
And on the other hand, he's saying the punishment
of the most merciful.
It goes to show that Allah won't punish you in a rush.
You have a chance to turn.
That's what it means.
You have a chance.
You and I have millions of chances to turn to Allah.
You did something wrong.
Make amends.
So this is what we mean when we say you look at who is right,
Who is wrong, be it your father or your mother.
Here is the verse of the Quran were ready tonight in An-Nisa,
where Allah (swt) was addressing the matter says that O, you who believe
stand firm for what is right for Justice, even if it's against
your own parents.
.... mother and father.
Some people mix up the Hadith of the prophet (pbuh),
wherein he says, Who is,
The question was asked, obviously, who is more deserving
of my good companionship?
What was the answer?
My mother.
Your mother.
Basically, who next?
Your mother.
Who next?
Your mother.
We've even heard some songs made in that regard.
Right?
It's true.
Is that talking of obedience?
No.
Is that talking of when she is wrong?
No.
It's talking of your kindness.
Who is the most deserving of my goodness, my kindness,
my good companionship, your mother and your mother and your
mother and then your father.
Your father will probably slap you,
subhanAllah if you are mischievous.
I don't think in this generation that would work because
the son would come up and roll his sleeves and show his dad
the result of all the protein he's been pushing.
May Allah (swt) grant us protection.
By the way, may not be so healthy, but the point being
raised is you need to know that what is right is right,
be it your mom or your dad or whoever it is.
This is surah An-Nisa.
Many people have a problem between their wives and their
mothers because they don't know how to;
I was about to say, play the politics, but they don't know
how exactly to manage it.
It's something to manage.
Your love of your mother will never change.
It will increase.
It's a different type of love.
You can never say, I don't love my mother or you are not
allowed to be unkind to her, even if she is unkind or even
if she is wrong.
You can respectfully let her know that.
But your love for your wife is very different and you need
to understand this.
You need to know it, and you need to be able to juggle the
two in a beautiful way.
Sometimes you might have to protect your wife from the harm
of your own mother, and sometimes you might have to protect
your mother from the harm of your own wife.
May Allah (swt) grant us goodness.
So Allah (swt) tells us beautifully regarding the wealth
that we leave when we pass away.
To be just to be fair, especially to the women and the orphans.
The widows are cheated a lot of the times,
the orphans are cheated a lot of the times.
People want to change the wealth.
People want to short change them.
People want to say, No, no, no.
You don't have a share anymore because you know what Dad
gave you when he was alive.
Subhanallah, that's a statement that you need to throw out
of the window because Allah tells you whatever you gave when
you were alive, you gave what was yours.
The minute you close your eyes, it's ours.
We decide what's gonna happen with this.
May Allah (swt) grant us an understanding.
And there's no question.
There's no doubt.
What's the point of me failing in the last moments
when I'm about to meet with Allah (swt)?
And my will is totally upside down, completely unislamic,
totally in the opposite direction of the instruction of Allah.
And that's the last thing I needed to do as I left.
You're not going to take your wealth with you.
Let's go back to those five sons.
Imagine you didn't block any of them and you followed what
Allah told you.
And it so happens that 20 years later there's only one son
who always makes dua for you.
Who is he?
He's the one who regretted that he was a bad son
when you were alive.
The other four, they forgot you.
Subhanallah, Dad was a good man.
Dad was a good man.
He's not going to get him into jannah;
oh Allah! Forgive my father.
That's what's going to get him into paradise.
Subhanallah, So don't underestimate.
Who's going to be closer to you later on.
You don't know.
Be fair,
Be just, you passed your test in the eyes of Allah.
Whether you got along or didn't get along with that particular
child, it is your child.
Some people want to block their brothers and sisters.
In the case where they don't have children or they don't
have male children, sometimes.
My brother, my sister.
You cannot do that.
It's not up to you.
This is Allah telling you.
It's Justice.
This money was ours.
This wealth was Ours.
You came onto the Earth.. Zero.
You're going to go back.. Zero.
Don't worry about what's going to happen.
Do it the way we told you.
And that's it.
You will succeed with jannatul firdaus.
That is Allah.
So these are the verses that Allah has repeated.
There are other verses that I want to report to you about
in what we read tonight in surah An-Nisa,
Allah speaks about marital discord.
It's normal and natural that you might have a few misunderstandings
in marriage because you are two totally different people.
It doesn't mean I want a divorce.
I want out.
I want to get out,
And you were only married.
You need to make an effort, sacrifice, adjust and change
on both sides, not just on one.
You can't say you're a woman.
You need to adjust.
Well, if you are wrong, you also need to adjust.
You need to correct your bad ways and habits;
All the pornography, all the bad friends you have, all the
drugs that you've been taking.
Even if it is weed, some people think it's okay.
It's just weed, just weed?
The only weed we know that's permissible is tajweed.
I'm sure you know that, right?
Otherwise you can't say just weed.
Weed is weed.
Come what may...
May Allah (swt) protect us.
Yes,
Some people speak of the medicinal properties of it,
of the cannabis and so on.
We are talking of the social smoking of it is totally prohibited in Islam.
You need to remember this.
Wooh!
I see people looking at me as though I'm seeing something wrong here.
May Allah subhanaw Taala forgive us.
It is so common today that we become wrong to talk about
it in the eyes of some.
But we will still say it because we have to.
So if you have these bad habits, you need to change them.
You cannot think to yourself that I don't need to change.
You must change, you are the woman.
Who are you to say that, when the bad habits are yours,
you have all relations with all women in the Earth, on the Earth
and you tell her to turn a blind eye.
Imagine if she were to do that with males, it would be unforgivable.
Why the double standards?
You correct yourself and you will see what will happen this side as well.
May Allah (swt) strengthen us.
What I've said is fair and it is just because Allah speaks about Justice.
So Allah says when you have marital discords , do you know what?
You need to make sure both of you want to solve the problem?
Listen to what Allah says;
When there is a problem and the two parties get together,
both of them want a solution:
If they both want to solve the problem, Allah will grant
them the acceptance to solve the problem.
Why?
Because both of them want to solve it.
I'm ready to say I'm sorry.
She is ready to say I'm sorry.
No one is here to try and prove who was right and who was wrong.
This is the reality.
Let's apologize to each other.
Let's never repeat this again and Let's move forward.
Those are Champions, MashaAllah.
But if you are here to prove who was right and wrong, you're
not going to solve the problem.
Allah says as if both of you want to solve it, you will solve it.
But if one wants to prove who's right and wrong,
you're not going to solve the problem here.
Remember this.
That's a last solution in the Quran.
So my brothers and sisters, if you think that you just should
get out of a marriage because of a small issue you've had,
then you may get into another marriage with worse issues
and you might get into a third marriage with disaster,
And you might get into our fourth marriage with even bigger disaster.
But who knows the Fifth one might just come right?
May Allah (swt) grant us ease.
It's not wrong to be married again and again?
But the point I'm raising is don't just give up out of a small matter.
If it is a major matter, you're being abused and there is
something serious that's happening in all meaning, with all honesty,
and by all means, you have the right to seek help
to get out of that abusive situation that is unbearable or
something that you feel really beyond the line.
May Allah (swt) grant us all happiness, goodness,
May Allah grant bliss, contentment solution to our problems,
the ability to listen, the ability to say I'm sorry truthfully,
and the ability to solve our matters and problems.
May Allah (swt) use us as a role model for others,
when they see us, they will actually be able to learn a lesson
such that we get a free reward for it.
May Allah grant us all jannatul firdaus.