During tonight's State of the Union,
President Trump spelled out his vision for America.
I mean, he didn't literally spell it out,
because spelling isn't something he does,
but he told us where he sees the country going.
And, as is tradition,
the State of the Union was followed
by several rebuttal speeches, you know?
Former candidate for governor, uh, of Georgia,
Stacey Abrams, delivered the Democratic response.
Uh, California Attorney General Xavier Becerra
gave a speech on behalf of Spanish-speaking Americans.
And Mitt Romney gave a speech on behalf of Americans
who think ketchup is too spicy.
And here at The Daily Show,
we have our own annual response,
where we cover the issues that are of special importance
to black America.
So, please rise, but not really--
you can just clap-- as Roy Wood Jr. enters
to deliver The Daily Show's annual
State of Black Shit address.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering and applause)
Good evening.
Good evening, black people,
African-Americans, people of color,
and white people taking their 23andMe results
far too seriously.
Two percent skim milk!
Mm-hmm.
I'm Roy Wood, Jr., and I'm speaking to you
from the capital of black America,
the corner booth of a Waffle House in Birmingham, Alabama.
I heard this is the one Dr. King stopped at
-when he came from Selma. -Mm. -Mm.
Mm-hmm. Tonight, we black people are gathered here
to once again ask ourselves the question, "Where we is?"
(laughter)
First of all, we're glad the government shut...
We're glad the government shutdown has ended.
We're glad the government has opened again,
because, let me tell you,
this shutdown hit black America especially hard.
I was at the airport,
and I saw a lot of black people working for free.
I'm surprised you didn't catch TSA agents
singing airport spirituals.
(to "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"): ♪ Shoes off and laptops out ♪
♪ When you bring your carry-on home. ♪
It's a classic, but we will not...
(applause and cheering)
We will not allow the shutdown
to overshadow our triumphs from the past year.
My fellow black folks, I'm here to tell you with confidence,
-the state of black shit is black as shit. -Mm-hmm.
In November, in November, more black congress people
than ever were elected to the House of Representatives.
-Mm. -(cheers and applause)
(chanting): U.S.A.!
-U.S.A! U.S.A.! U.S... -Okay. Okay. Okay.
-We know where we live. -Mm. -(laughter)
And we're even gaining representation abroad.
Meghan Markle is now the second black person
-in the royal family. -Wait. Who's the first?
The first one is the queen. She drives a Bentley,
she got all them fancy church hats. That's black.
-Okay. Yeah, that is pretty black. -Yeah, it is.
-That is pretty black. -Them hats is nice.
-Yeah. Yeah, I know. -The hats is real nice.
Another thing to celebrate.
Black unemployment is at an all-time low,
and for that, we have to thank the president.
-Obama? -Yeah, Obama. You know any other president?
What president you thought I was talking about?
-I don't know. The president. -I don't know what president.
What president you talking about?
-That's my president. -I mean, that's my president.
You thought Obama. We all talking Obama?
-I don't know that man. I don't know that man. -Okay.
All right, then. Now...
let's talk about the state of black music.
Beyoncé conquered Coachella,
Kendrick took home a Pulitzer,
and 2018 was the year
we finally stepped up and muted R. Kelly.
That mangy bastard.
Wait-wait a minute, Madam Speaker. Just hold on.
A charge led by black women forced our community
to finally confront R. Kelly.
He ain't shit! You understand me?
Just-just... just let me finish. Let me finish.
Our community confronted R. Kelly,
and finally said, enough is enough.
-All right, do it now. -I said what I said.
-(laughter) -Okay. Cool.
Now, of course, 2018 also reminded us
that in America today,
white people will still call the cops on you
-just for being black. -Mm. -Mm-hmm.
-Being black at a barbecue. -Mm.
Or being black at a pool party or a lemonade stand.
Or just trying to sell a little weed out of your apartment.
Hmm? That's... that-that's illegal.
-Okay, whatever. -Okay.
Where was I? Ah, yes. White ladies.
When they called the cops on us for no reason,
we changed their names
to some shit that they'll never live down,
and black people rallied together all year long.
When Kanye went to the White House
and gave a TED Talk in a MAGA hat, black people came together,
and we boycotted the bad songs on his album.
-(laughter) -And...
And to support our brother Colin Kaepernick,
we all bought a fresh pair of Nikes.
Wearing mine right now.
Boy, get your foot off this couch!
-Dr. King sat here. -My bad. Sorry.
And this lastly brings me
to the future of black shit,
and the future's looking bright.
We're finally getting some criminal justice reform,
Jordan Peele's dropping another scary-ass movie,
and there's not one, but two black people
-running for president. -Kamala and Cory.
-Mm. -Mm-hmm. Team Light-skin.
Not the time. Not the time for that.
-It's not the time. -Okay.
(laughter)
So, black people, when you ask the question, "Where we is?"
I say to you, we're on our way to a future
that's looking bright and a future that's looking black.
God bless you, God bless black America,
and God bless the 34 TV shows hosted by Michael Strahan.
-Mm. -I say good evening.
Roy Wood, Jr., Dulcé Sloan, Jaboukie Young-White, everybody.