(perky music)
(knocking)
(dialog squeaking)
- Whoa, what?
No, no!
I gotta go to the bathroom like, now!
(dialog squeaking)
Bones?
(dialog squeaking)
Are you saying bones like slang for money?
Or what is this?
(dialog squeaking)
Okay, so you want me to find you some chicken bones
in my apartment somewhere, or...
(dialog squeaks)
Yeah, okay man.
No, I'll go find you some dinosaur bones
so I can go to the bathroom.
(dialog squeaking)
Sadistic freak, good God.
(accordion music)
(yawning)
(yelling)
(dialog squeaking)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
Not yet, okay?
I just got up, I need water and coffee and pee.
(dialog squeaking)
No, not drink pee.
Like, eject pee from my body.
(dialog squeaking)
Is that a yes?
I don't have my glasses on,
I can't see what the little bubble is saying.
(dialog squeaking)
I'm not trying to be racist,
but your language is weird, I'm sorry.
- I am so tired of being cooped up with my roommates.
- I know, dude.
Who'd you get?
- A duck and a rabbit.
(duck quacking) What about you?
- I got stuck with a wolf and a sheep.
(wolf growling)
Wait. (sheep bleating)
Oh, just a wolf I guess.
(wolf snarling)
Oh, okay, this wolf is asking me
to get into a cauldron with a bunch of carrots,
I gotta go.
- Courtney, I wouldn't do that.
(wolf howling)
Oh, too late.
(metallic clanging)
(dialog squeaking)
- What, flimsy?
That's hella rude, I worked on this all day.
It's not flimsy, you're flimsy, flimsy old game voice.
Rude.
(spoon whooshing)
(sighing)
Screw it.
(squelching)
- Come on, I need bells, man.
I got laid off and rent is due, all right?
Just help me out.
Just give me some bells!
(wasps buzzing)
Uh oh.
(grunting)
Thought you went extinct!
Hi there.
I'm Shayne, from Smosh.
In that last segment you just saw,
I yelled out that I thought wasps were extinct.
Now, you're probably thinking I was just being silly,
but the reality is that I'm actually an idiot.
Stay safe out there.
- Hi, man.
I looked through my whole apartment,
couldn't find any bones for you.
(dialog squeaking)
Wait, you want me to dig in my apartment?
(dialog squeaking)
With what?
(dialog squeaking)
I don't have a shovel!
(dialog squeaking)
With what?
(dialog squeaking)
It hurts!
I have to make it, it hurts!
(wood cracking)
I just bought this chair, aw, man.
- Damn, you can't even get toilet paper online anymore.
What do I do now?
(pinging)
Oh my God.
Yes!
(air whooshing)
Oh no, oh man, I don't have my slingshot!
I shouldn't have used it to wipe my ass.
(funky synthesized music)
- We don't have a joke for this one,
but I do look like Blathers, right?
- Oh, actually, I think I look the most like Blathers.
- Well, thank you for interrupting me, Tim,
but how 'bout we let the fans decide?
Who looks the most like Blathers?
Vote now in the comments.
- Look, you're my boss, I don't want to fight.
- Vote now in the comments.
The one that loses gets fired.
- You really want to fire your tech guy
when you're working from home?
- No, sorry, sorry.
- Sorry what?
- I'm sorry, Mr. Blathers.
- That's right, bitch.
- Oh man, I need to work out but all the gyms are closed.
(ringing)
(hammer smacking) (drill whirring)
And done!
Oh my god, oh, I'm tired.
I can't work out now.
No, that was excruciating, oh my God.
Has it been a whole day?
- Hey mom.
- Hi sweetie.
Oh, can you see me?
Did you get the package I sent?
- Mom, don't send me packages while we're in quarantine.
Everything will be contaminated.
- I just wanted to make sure you were fed.
- What did you even send?
- An apple.
- Mom, I can't imagine an apple
surviving being mailed across the country.
- Y'all, there's a sale.
I'm gonna send you more.
- I don't need (beep) apples, mom!
- Language, young lady.
- Okay, I'm sorry, it's just my place already had
a million apples to start with.
- Oh, there it is, though.
It's shipped.
All right, love you.
- No, mom, please!
Oh my God.
- Hey man, I found fossils.
That's kind of like bones.
Can I please go to the bathroom now?
(dialog squeaking)
Oh yes, thank God.
Whoo!
(dialog squeaking)
Oh God, I would like to poop please.
(dialog squeaking)
Of all the dumbass...
I would like to use the toilet.
(dialog squeaking)
Lift up the seat first.
(dialog squeaking)
Take off my pants first!
(dialog squeaking)
Oh my god, no.
Wait, no, yes, no, yes, I'm sure,
I want to go to the bathroom.
(dialog squeaking)
Ah, (beep) it, I'm just gonna
let it reign free in my trousers.
It's what the pioneers did.
♪ If you wanna feel true free freedom ♪
♪ Reign free inside your jeans ♪
- Hi there, Shayne again from Smosh.
In that last joke,
Damien told you that the only way to feel true freedom
is to (beep) your pants.
Well, I'm here to tell you it's 100% true.
I've tried just now, and you should try, too.
Go ahead, do it.
Reign free.
♪ What time is it ♪
♪ It's shower time ♪
♪ What time is it ♪
♪ It's shower time ♪
(dialog squeaking)
- Uh, sure.
(applauding)
Cool, how long is this gonna go for
'cause I really need to shower.
Oh great, confetti, awesome.
Yeah, no, that's great,
I love to clean up little pieces of paper, awesome.
Thank you, thank you Animal Crossing town.
(accordion music)
- This is take one of scene 13, yeah.
I just farted.
I'm sorry, I'm in my bed, I'm comfortable.
Scene 13, take one, action.
- It's legitimately better this way.
Tom Nook, you're not smarter than me.
Now my fingies are all milkful
and you are a dumb old tanuki.
It is legit so much better this way.
Hey girls, cats, it's better this way.
- Not right now, raccoon.
Sorry, I have to fart.
(laughing) I'm gonna fart.
I'm sorry.
(laughing) I've never farted on camera before.
(gasping)
- No, that sucked.
- Thank you, thank you Animal Crossing town.
Awesome job, well done, way to go,
I'm about to get super naked right now
so please, get the (beep) out.
Really though, get out, you're in my house,
this is private property.
All right, see you guys.
- Okay, so you want me to get you some chicken bones or--
(cat scratching furniture)
Freya, knock it off.
(snapping) Hey, stop.
Freya, come on, man.
- Oh, a helicopter.
(laughing)
Technology.
- It was painful to wipe my ass with a slingshot.
Use your imagination to figure that out.
- I searched my whole house, couldn't find any bones.
Freya, stop doing that.
- Watson's afraid of the guitar.
And Dexter's jealous that Watson's getting treats.
Come on, Watson, come here.
Come here.
Okay, but you gotta face the camera, buddy.
Okay.
Good boy, sit, down, good boy.
- Listen, you're working from home
and you wanna fire your tech guy
so when your wifi goes down...
(laughing)
- Well, I'm gonna get naked, so if anyone wants to stay
and see some things they're going to regret
and talk about in therapy later,
feel free to stick around
'cause it's gonna get nasty.
Oh, you stayed?
Okay, that's fine.
(synthesized music)
- Guys, wow, Animal Crossing sure is crazy, huh?
If you want to keep watching some funny, hilarious stuff,
we've got another video right here.
And we also have more clothing
that is just really incredible, all right?
So check it out at smosh.store.
And if you haven't subscribed already, subscribe.
All the cool people are doing it,
so I have read in the newspaper.
I gotta get back to what I've been doing for the past month
and will continue doing for the next month,
so I'll see you guys around.