*Intro Music*
*Intro fairy-tale music*
Narrator: Every morning consciousness would hand deliver another unremarkable experience to Thomas. This morning seemed like any other morning -
Ordinary.
Thomas would wake up the same way he always did: eight o'clock, on the dot.
(Alarm Clock plays "Man I love being Single")
Narrator: Except today would be extraordinary
(Alarm Clock plays "Man I love being Single") Narrator: Okay, well, he would wake up a little later,
which is chill. Today's extraordinary, which means it's not going to be super routine
This day was going to be different because today...
He... would... sleep even later...
("Man I Love Being Single" plays repeatedly)
Narrator: All right let's speed things along here, (Clears throat)
(Eerie music plays) Thomas' day would begin with a mysterious phone call...
Thomas: Nope. If I don't know you I am not picking up.
Narrator: O-kay?
Thomas: Hmm.
Narrator: Well It didn't matter because now he was up and moving. (Clears throat)
(Eerie music plays) But just behind the shower curtain...
Waits the fright of Thomas' life--
No you're not gonna .. you have to take a shower, man.
You're not, urgh ... you're taking a bar of soap and just
dabbing It under your arms? That doesn't work.
On the neck too? - I think you need to re-evaluate some things if that's where your standards are.
Alright, well that's fine because Thomas was one of those "shower at night" people.
Anyways so... umm...
Just scratch the danger behind the curtain. Just don't worry about it, all right?
You know what? Let's go with a different take here.
Thomas sat down and checked his emails like he did everyday.
(Inspirational music plays) But today...
one email was special.
It was his crush from tenth grade.
Enrique.
His first real crush and it looked like romance was just around the corner again--
ENRIQUE NO!
Thomas: Probably just a bot.
What kind of name is the one that got away?
Narrator: Ugh
(Eerie music plays) Once again that mysterious caller calls.
Thomas : Hello?
Deep-voiced caller: Hello, I was just wondering...
do you know if your friends are safe?
Thomas: Who is this?
Caller: Do you know if your friends are safe?.....
Thomas: Oh! I get it! This is like one of those home-security things, you're a telemarketer.
Caller: Uh- uh no. I--
Thomas: Yeah, no, sorry I'm not interested. I'm sorry nope. Have a good day, alright... Caller: U-uh... I feel like...
Thomas: Block that number...
Narrator: (Sighs) Okay but that call would haunt Thomas the rest of--
Thomas: I'm hungry
Narrator: The 2 seconds It took me to utter those words apparently.
Thomas: Hi, yes I would like a
large pepperoni...
Narrator: And now he's going for a pizza. But instead of a pizza,
Thomas was in for something that would be a little harder to digest...
(Knock knock knock)
(Sci fi music plays) Mysterious Man: Thomas Sanders.
Thomas: Wow! That was fast. Are you here to deliver my pizza?
Mysterious Man: No, I'm here to deliver a message.
Everything you know is a fabrication. This existence is a lie.
In my hand I have two jelly beans...
A purple jelly bean and a green jelly bean. If you take the purple jelly bean--
Thomas: No. I don't-
Thomas: I'm not interested. I don't want to buy anything. Sorry, Thank you. Mysterious Man: But, if you take the...
Thomas: Hello, 911?
Yeah. There's a dude selling wares in a private residential neighborhood,
and I know that goes against guidelines so if you could come by and check that out.
Narrator: Well okay. Ah!
(Romantic comedy music plays) But, as he made this mundane phone call, Thomas didn't realize his life would change forever
for in that instant, opportunity
came a-knockin'... (Knock knock knock).
Thomas: Wow that Was fast-- where's my pizza?
Girl Next Door: Oh I don't have a pizza but I do have something cheesy for you?
Thomas: Uh, so mozzarella sticks?
Girl Next Door: No, I just-
I've seen you around a few times and
I couldn't help but have this immediate spiritual
romantic connection with you.
It's silly. I just knew that I would regret it if i didn't ask you if you wanted to- uh...
Go out with me sometime?
Thomas: That was really brave of you...
I'm gay. So-
Oh, maybe it was a friend-connection.
Yeah.
Hang out sometime?
Well today I'm busy doing
nothing.
But on friday I'm doing
nothing!
Girl Next Door: Cool bye. Thomas: Bye!
Narrator: Oh... okay well-
As all this was taking place,
in crept the source of that mysterious caller from earlier.
And now...
they...
meant...
BUSINES--
(Fridge door slam)
Narrator: Wow, That's like some Mr. Magoo Type Ish right there.
But oh! (Whimsical music plays) What does Thomas find in his sugary beverage?
(Thomas gasps)
Narrator: Why, it was a golden ticket!
Thomas: "Come to the Soda-Cola factory on October 3rd
and bring with you one family member..."
Okay. This is... this is a lot of instructions.
I don't- I don't think I'm gonna go through all this prep.
And, uh, there's probably gonna be cameras there...
Thomas: I'm just- Narrator: Seriously?
Thomas: I'm- No. I just- No. I'm just gonna... keep drinking...this...
Narrator: Well that was... all fine because soon Thomas would discover that he, was in for a
saucy surprise...
(Doorbell rings)
(Sensual music plays) Pizza Delivery Guy: Oops. I seem to have forgotten your pizza
Is there anything I could do to...
make it up to you?
Thomas: Refund my order. Thank you!
Narrator: Grrr... okay but then... (Eerie music plays)
as Thomas was walking back
he heard a mysterious noise coming from his closet...
Thomas: Hello, Landlord?
Yeah, my door is broken, so if you can...
Narrator: Oh geez. Okay. Well- But, as he sits down...
(Magical music plays) he spots a curious looking white rabbit out the window in his front yard!
Why, it was wearing a waistcoat and a pocket watch!
This white rabbit could possibly take him to some kind of- I don't know
Wondrous land!
(Door shuts)
Thomas: Hello, Animal Protective Services?
Yeah, someone is dressing up animals and setting them loose.
You may want to check that out.
Narrator: Okay. Maybe reverse psychology will work better.
(Fun jazz plays) He wasted his entire day watching nine hours of TV...
Ah okay. He did that.
(Thomas crying)
Narrator: Now he listens to me.
Thomas: That was just what the doctor ordered.
Videogames!
Narrator: But! What Thomas thought would be just a normal night of playing videogames
would in fact be the night of an alien invasion!
(Sounds of explosions, car horns, people screaming, lasers, a rooster, and a dolphin)
Narrator: This is unbelievable...
Thomas: (Yawns) K, that was fun.
Narrator: Aha! NOW we're at the shower scene!
(♬Thomas scatting jazz♬)
Narrator: And Thomas would soon be encountering the fright of his life!
Oh Wait! Let's raise the stakes.
The intruder is...
Enrique!
You guys remember Enrique from the email??
Oh my Goodness! Why would Enrique do something like this?!
Enrique: You should have responded to my email!
Narrator: What a shocking development that I just made up.
How thrilling! No way to get out of this one!
Thomas: ♬Man I love being single♬
♬I have no regrets in my life♬
♬There is no man to take my hand, no woman i can call my wife♬
♬And if some chump dumps me♬
♬That's not something to dwell on♬
♬I wouldn't love to share the company of someone who wouldn't love to share mine as well!♬
♬Gone are those dismal days! Guys that got away used to keep me up at night♬
♬I'm happy to wait for a suitable mate who's gonna treat me right.♬
♬Ha-cha-cha!♬
(Pensive music plays) Enrique: What are you doing Enrique?
Farewell... Thomas...
I should probably take this.
Narrator: WHAT THE F*CK JUST HAPPENED?!
Thomas: Okay, bedtime!
Narrator: Are you kidding me? BEDTIME ALREADY?!
NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED TODAY!
Thomas: What a lovely day of relaxation...
Narrator: (Sighs) Well I suppose
Thomas did indeed have a good day, because it's good to have days where relaxation and recuperation can take place.
One shouldn't feel guilty for having these days from time to time
It gives way to days of great action when the person is ready for it.
Thomas: (Yawns)
Narrator: Thomas would sleep soundly tonight...
and wake refreshed ready for adventure!
Thomas: Yeah yeah yeah! Maybe. Mhm.
Thank you so much for watching! Hope you enjoyed the video! Thank you so much to everyone who helped out with it!
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That's it and until next time, take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals!
Peace out!
(Alarm clock version of "Man I Love Being Single" plays))
Joan: (Burps)
Thomas: (Laughing)
Joan: (Burps)
(Sequence of fridge door slams)
(Joan burps)
Thomas: What is the frickin' lip thing?? Alex: (Laughing)
Thomas: Wait for the car... (Laughs)
Thomas: (Fart noise)
Dalton: That was the worst one yet...
Thomas: My god... (Laughs)
Thomas: Oh, I'm recording this whole thing... Chelsea: (Laughs)
Thomas: Get over here... Joan: (Laughs)
Thomas: Get over here!!
Thomas: (Laughs)