want you to hit me as hard as you can
stanley kubrick is kinda crazy Stanley
Kubrick was his name he lived on the
line between genius and insane and
because of him cinema has never been the
same
he wasn't perfectionist always had a
plan all of his films are about the
dehumanization of man the greatest of
all time probably he began his career in
photography quickly learning and
perfecting his art Stanley was so crazy
where do I start I could start at the
very beginning where he hustled chess
and lived off tournament winnings he was
a clever child he could sure dance
Stanley funded his first film with his
father's life insurance he almost killed
his actors with poisonous gas
Stanley hates this film and he tried to
erase it from his past that's right he
really doesn't want you to watch it but
it's on Netflix now so nothing could
stop it his next film was the killer's
kiss which earned him some respect he
would often stop production to go pick
up his $30 unemployment check on day 1
of the killing even though Stanley was
just a beginner he threatened to fire
the DP who was an Oscar winner this film
confused audiences because of its
nonlinear plot Kubrick was a master of
all genres whether you like it or not
and one of those genres was war he would
do lots of takes and then he would do
some more like this prison scene it took
74 and the dinner scene took 68 takes
but Stanley never cared each time a new
roasted duck was freshly prepared paths
of glory was banned in France for
depicting their military in a negative
light and Kurt Douglas used a chair as a
weapon during a Stanley Kubrick fight
yes some of the actors didn't really
consider him a friend but he married the
singing german girl who appears at the
end
then his budget got a little bit bigger
he was hired on Spartacus for his next
picture he pretty much did the film for
the money and to further his career like
a strategic move in chess he numerically
labeled each corpse with detailed
instructions in this organized chaotic
mess once again Kirk Douglas and Kubrick
always fought stanley dis owned the
movie and from then on demanded final
cut this film won best cinematography
even though the cinematographer quit
maybe it won the Oscar cuz Stanley
actually filmed it next he moved on from
the sword in the sandal to make Lolita
and cause some glorious scandal the plot
itself is just plain crazy about a
creepy creep who obsesses over a very
young lady turn nation you old horn
kodak might've heard it at a party poor
Kubrick was crazy to cast Peter Sellers
but he was just crazy enough to direct
him and the Catholic Church said this
crazy film would see me directly in
Hell's direction his next venture was a
satire so true and strange it's
frightful ha dr. Strangelove or how I
learned to stop worrying and love the
bomb was it's very strange title Kubrick
insisted that the war table be green
even though the film is black and white
originally the film ended with a
slapstick pie fight Stanley tricked
George C Scott into capturing his
maximum wackiness by using his silly
takes that he thought were just for
practice that's right sir the film crew
accidentally flew over a military base
and were thought to be Soviet spies the
original script was told through
extraterrestrial eyes this film will
make you laugh until it hurts Kubrick
read 50 books on nuclear war for
research dr. Strangelove inspired the
government to change their military
policy next to this mad genius would
tackle interstellar technology at first
hundreds of people walked out of the
sci-fi movie until hippy solid on
shrooms and said it was groovy
this film predicted the iPad and
secretly called out IBM Stanley recorded
his own breathing yeah that's actually
him on his first meeting with arthur c
clarke they both saw a UFO and stanley
approached pink floyd to do the music
don't you know
oncet Stanley would play chess with a
real computer machine versus men and of
course Stanley would always always win
he also watched many science fiction
movies hundreds no doubt and won in an
insurance policy in case alien life was
discovered before the movie came out
2001 is more than just a cinematic space
epic it's a religious experience and you
must respect it
this film is hard to understand so you
need to be very understanding especially
when you realize Stanley might have
helped fake the moon landing his next
film never actually happened and it
would have been about Napoleon makes you
really really wonder what could have
been Kubrick was definitely a man of
mystery and was obsessed with this
figure from historic history no one not
no one knows Bonaparte better Kubrick
even knew the patterns in the historical
weather but he abandoned the project
that must have been hard since he
catalogued every single day of
Napoleon's life on index cards Stanley
had a terrible phobia of flying even
though he was a licensed pilot his next
film was about the ultraviolent just
like clockwork you can even time it of
course the final shot of a Clockwork
Orange was done in 74 takes Kubrick
added this scene when he learned of
Malcolm McDowell sphere of snakes
Kubrick tricked Malcolm into becoming
his friend and once production was over
Stanley never spoke to him again but I'm
sure Malcolm had fun I really hope he
did considering his eye was scratched
Nate broke a rib they spit on poor
Malcolm until this actors mouth was dry
this film use mostly natural light
that's no lie in this film Kubrick
references himself just take a look at
the futuristic album shell movie Easter
eggs are always fun so keep an eye open
for 2001 remember the sped up sex scene
that felt oh so wrong Stanley originally
planned the shot to last 26 minutes long
he only made this actor carry him three
times which for Kubrick that was nice
hey I just realized he's cast Darth
Vader twice and if that's not crazy then
I don't know what crazy is Kubrick
himself pulled the film from British
theaters after receiving death threats
towards his kids
this film is truly an example of life
imitating art and things because it
inspired real-life violence from
real-life violent gangs yes the film was
blamed for murder now isn't that dumb
did I say murder well I meant
read rom but before we go there let's
take it back some cubics next film was
called Barry Lyndon this is a great film
Stan Lee really handled it right and lit
most of it by candlelight he did this
with a special lens developed by those
NASA folks which is more evidence that
he filmed this massive hoax this movie
put Stan Lee on the IRAs hit list and
took two years to film are you here in
this his next film was filled with
subliminal messages that I really do not
see apparently this might have been
about the terror of the Nazi maybe it's
really about the struggle of America's
native women and men or its Kubrick
saying he faked the moon landing again
so many theories I cannot keep them in
order but all I know is that this film
is some damn good horror Stan Lee and
Stephen King didn't really like each
other and Stan Lee took it a little too
far when he made this look like Stephen
King's car Stanley Kubrick would call
Stephen King in the middle of the night
that's very odd he would ask him
spiritual questions and talk about God
when making the trailer he defied the
rating system and included the slaughter
Stanley lied to the MPAA and said it was
just rusty water the Shining's labyrinth
caused the crew to get lost in the fake
snow on various days Kubrick just
laughed as they were trapped in his
hilarious maze and when the soundstage
burnt to ashes once again Stanley just
laughed showing off his madness she
Burke changed the script daily and
that's not all he emotionally tortured
poor Shelley Duvall
she can do some pretty cool things when
you're filming
apparently Stanley had a reason for this
torment he did it all for her character
so she could perform it Kubrick would
bully her and scream and shout this
would make Shelley ill and her hair
started to fall out oh come on what do
you mean roll video we're killing
ourselves out here and you might be
right
mood music no way yeah but you can I
like this wait a minute okay then you
say on the radio when you do it you've
got to look desperate charlie you're
just wasting everybody's time I can't
even get moving at all
quite often Stanley we cross many moral
lines the staircase scene was done 120
or more times Duvall wasn't the only
victim there were others like poor old
Scatman Crothers he gave the hotel tour
85 times and endured 40 strikes with an
axe this scene was done 140 times those
were some scatman facts
Stanley's insanity really took a toll on
those poor actors and maybe it was meant
to be watched simultaneously forwards
and backwards and here's a fact that is
certainly neat The Shining took five
freaking years to complete the movie is
absolutely terrifying but behind the
scenes was more scary every page of all
work and no play was really typed out by
Kubrick's poor secretary this stuff is
all true I know it's hard to believe
after this film Stanley moved to a ranch
where he would rarely leave it seems
that Kubrick had a few screws loose he
was an eccentric paranoid lovable
recluse he never threw anything away he
was a hoarder he filled his house with
thousands of boxes to keep things in
order
but the boxes weren't good enough so
Stanley designed his own it must have
been crazy to be at his home which
contains seven golden retrievers or
donkeys 16 cats plus more and they would
all lie around Kubrick's cutting room
floor he would leave 15 pages of
instructions on how to take care of his
beloved creatures the Texas Chainsaw
Massacre
white men can't jump in the jerk where
his favorite Hollywood features he would
have VHS tapes of NFL games Seinfeld in
the Simpson shipped to him from afar
Stanley loved woody the woodpecker and
Roseanne Barr but before you think that
Kubrick was normal like you let me
remind you of his 200 IQ because of his
craziness the art of cinema did enhance
Stanley had a Wardrobe full of identical
shirts and pants Stanley like to be
alone he didn't want all that Hollywood
racket he spent years researching the
Vietnam War for Full Metal Jacket the
original actor quit because it was too
darn hard Stanley made Vince a D'Onofrio
gained 70 pounds of lard and when the
first actor wasn't exactly on target he
was fired and Stanley brought in a real
drill sergeant you had best unfuck
yourself or I will unscrew you
hedid check down your neck unfortunately
the film was overshadowed by platoon
which Kubrick did regret they spent
months blowing up buildings to create
this awesome set
once Stanley crashed his car while
scouting a location but immediately got
up and just continued the conversation
you would think he would shoot the head
shaving scene first but no he did it
last
he made the actors grow out their hair
and shave it off again probably just for
laughs
his next film was supposed to be about
the Holocaust and how the Jews were
oppressed but Kubrick gave up on the
project his extensive research made him
depressed then he almost made a I but
eventually gave it to that Spielberg
dad he said you know you really oughta
direct AI and I should produce it for
you
and I was shocked I said yeah right the
media made up wild rumors and called
Stanley a barking loon remember it's not
a Kubrick film unless it features a key
scene in a bathroom yes he always
featured a toilet or a shower Stanley
refused to drive over 30 miles per hour
his last film was a doozy I tell you
what and that film was called Eyes Wide
Shut it explored sexual taboos your sins
and your fears keep in mind that he
hadn't made a film in ten years when it
came to the real-life relationship of
Nicole and Tom Stanley was very careless
he would deliberately cause tension in
their loving marriage Tom Cruise
developed an ulcer which caused so much
pain
Kubrick originally wanted Steve Martin
to star now that would have been insane
it took 14 months to film the crew
needed a lot of patience
Stanley considered this movie to be his
greatest eyes wide shot will rattle your
bones and make your knees shake Stanley
mathematically analyzed box-office data
to pick the perfect release day this
film is infamous for being very naughty
and is covered with hidden messages
about the Illuminati he passed away one
week after finishing this film may he
rest in peace
Kubrick died six hundred and sixty six
days before 2001 conspiracy or destiny
what if Stanley made more films I will
always wonder it and he had a favorite
tree and was buried under it he's gone
now looking down from heaven
or maybe he's just staying in room 237
you