TOP 10 MOST EMBARRASSING SUPERHEROES PART 2
Welcome back to top 10 nerd!
I;’m your host kelly paoli and today we’re taking another look at the top 10 most embarrassing
superheroes with a part 2 of this list.
And this time around, we’ll be touching on most of the members of a certain embarrassing
superhero team that’s just too cringe to pass up on.
Alright, so let’s jump in!
10 Superpro Phil Garfield Football superhero cross promotion?
You bet your ass.
Starting off this list we’ve got Superpro helping pimp out the NFL the only way Marvel
can - by throwing him on the cover and giving him sports based super abilities.
Sort of.
He’s basically a superior football player with a jazzed up uniform and helmet that give
him an advantage when fighting crime.
Like being bulletproof.
His origin story consists of him breaking his leg on THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS.
Gotta ask yourself, bad luck or just a bad player?
Anyway, this led up to him being in a house fire and getting mutated by chemicals and
then putting on the SuperPro costume and everything was wonderful.
Sounds about right.
9 Stone Boy Stone Boy is a member of the legion of substitute
superheroes.
And while he’s pretty useful in more recent times, in his initial appearance, he was definitely
a member of the team that was more of an embarrassment than pride and joy.
He’s from a planet called Zwen where everybody has the ability to petrify their own bodies.
Cause, you know, that most definitely comes in handy.
Anyway in the early days when he turned to stone he was immobilized, which is why the
legion of superheroes rejected him.
He would later win a contest gaining membership to the group but declined since he didn’t
want to abandon the substitute heroes.
8 Sixpack So back in 1997 DC Comics introduced a ridiculous
tonge-in-cheek superhero team in Hitman #18, ace of killers part four.
And this team was called Section 8.
Take a look at them here and tell me how well you think they’d do in a fight.
They were lead by the crown jewel of superhero role models, a character named Sixpack.
Let’s break down Sixpack a wee bit here.
He’s got a fine taste in beverages and based off his weapons of choice, he’s environmentally
friendly and recycles his empty bottles the best way a drunk superhero can.
His cape is held on by a safety pin, and his emblem on his chest?
Well, didn’t think through writing his name on his shirt now, did he.
Despite all this, he does have good intentions, and even tried going to AA once.
Key word, tried.
7 Jean De Baton Jean is typically described as the french
member of Section 8.
And that’s because his most defining characteristic is that he’s french.
He sometimes does stuff like shout the word onions, and while you’ve gotta give him
props for his feistiness, sometimes a baton doesn’t really do the trick against a machine
gun.
6 Flemgem You guys ever hang out with someone who has
a bad habit of spitting in public?
And people give you stares cause they’re grossed out?
Well now imagine your friend spat at people in public, and that spit was actually phlegm.
And it was their ‘special ability’.
So that’s Flemgem.
Luckily we didn’t have to be grossed out by him for too long.
He was killed when he was vaporized by acidic demon spit.
Fitting
5 Black Condor - Richard Grey Jr There’s a lot of feels out there about Black
Condor.
But for the purpose of this video, we’re talking about Richard Grey Jr.
So Black Condor was created by the legendary Will Eisner, the character was raised by condors.
Who by studying, learnt how to fly.
And after straight up murdering the mongolian bandits who killed his parents, he uncovers
a plot to kill a US senator.
Who he then fails to save but is like IM GONNA BECOME A SUPERHERO!
AND USE MY BIRD POWERS TO FIGHT CROOKED POLITICANS AND BOOTLEGGERS!
Specifically in this outfit.
Definitely need to be shirtless.
Super necessary.
4 AquaLad - Garth Now before you guys get concerned, we’re
talking about silver age Aqualad here aka Tempest, not the most recent incarnation of
the character.
Upon his first appearance in 1960, Aqualad was Aquaman’s teen sidekick who founded
the teen titans.
He rode around on a sea horse.
He’s always been overly eager and incredibly lame.
But at least the character in Rebirth is promising, Jackson Hyde, a gay black teen whose parents
seem more conflicted about his sexuality rather than, you know, the fact that he has super
powers.
3 Shakes Tourettes as a super power?
Oh boy, we’re getting into politically incorrect territory here.
Oh, and it’s not just tourettes, it’s also parkinson’s, if that wasn’t enough.
And how does he go down?
He accidentally grabs an active grenade while he’s having a spasm.
And it explodes.
So why is he embarrassing?
Well, if anything, I’m more embarrassed for DC for creating him - yes I get it’s
a joke, but duno if the 1 million people in the US who suffer from parkinson’s and the
138,000 kids between the ages of 6 and 17 would find that super funny.
Just saying.
2 Dogwelder Alright, moving out of preachy land and back
into oh hey thats fucked up land, our number two spot here has a very strange way of fighting
crime.
Like our last number, he’s another member of Section 8, and maims his victims by welding
DEAD DOGS to their bodies.
Yes, that’s right, dead dogs.
First off, WHY THE DOGS?
Dude legit has a supply off dead puppies and or full grown canines that he just CARRIES
AROUND WITH HIM to weld onto people.
Bro.
That’s fucked up.
Second, why weld?
Seems a tad excessive and the upkeep on that’s probably kinda costly.
From an efficiency stand point, maybe not the best choice.
Anyway, Dogwelder is definitely a guy who you’d probably feel a little hot under the
collar standing next to on a team.
All that dead animal smell sure aint helping in that department either.
1 Bueno Excelente What’s the best way to fight crime?
By being a pervert, of course!
What exactly that entails of, apparently no one is quite sure, but that was enough of
a reason for Bueno to make it into Section 8, so no one’s questioning it.
Despite being a pervert, he’s a poor stereotype of a latin man, is constantly sweating, and
likes to sodomize his victims.
Yes his victims are criminals…but…damn guys.
For someone to make the members of section 8 feel embarrassed, well, that takes a lot
of gusto.
Perverted sweaty gusto apparently.
Gross.
There we have it friends.
Embarrassing superheroes.
Do you want a part two?
I know I do.
Give us a shout in those comments below and request it!
And hit those like and subscribe buttons if you dug this list.
But for now I’m Kelly Paoli for top 10 nerd and I’ll catch you all in the next one.