BYU's mission statement says all relationships within the BYU community
should reflect devout love of God and a loving genuine concern for the welfare
of our neighbor. We believe everyone is a beloved son or daughter of Heavenly
Parents, and each one of us has a divine nature and destiny. That is a very
powerful truth, and it's the basis for our commitment to respecting others.
The honor code includes a commitment to respect others. These two words are so
important to the BYU experience. As a campus community we should rise above
words and actions that demean someone for their race, gender, orientation,
religion, or any other circumstance. But showing respect is much more than just
not being disrespectful. In today's story, you'll hear a variety of perspectives on
the importance of respecting others.
I attended the Muslim High School in Lagos Nigeria, and I was the only member
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the whole school.
It wasn't easy, but we learn to love understand and respect
one another there. I believe that this kind of unity can and should develop
among students at BYU. I don't think anyone here is trying to be offensive,
but we could try to be more inclusive. Walk a mile in the shoes of someone
different than you to see what it's really like.
In my internship at the Women's Leadership Institute, I learned that the
way we talk about gender impacts the opportunities people get. Surveys around
the country and at BYU show that many women and men have sexist comments
directed at them during their college experience. These hurtful comments aren't
always about appearance. Sometimes they're directed at decisions
that students are making and paths that they pursue. We can be more intentional
and thoughtful with our words to more accurately represent what is in our
hearts toward each other. God has a plan for each one of us, so let's talk to each
other in a way that respects the different things that he wants us to do
and become.
I participate in BYU Civil Rights seminar. Each year seminar participants
learn the history of the black freedom movement from pre slavery until modern times.
They then travel south to get proximate to a history that reveals Rosa
Parks' tenacity, John Lewis' hope and perseverance, and the suffering and
courage of many who are unnamed in history like those in Selma who marched
for voting rights. Students with many diverse ethnic backgrounds confront
hard-hitting realities about history and each other, and emotions can get pretty raw.
The experience has the potential to help the group form very strong bonds,
but there's no guarantee of that. It really takes a commitment to form, in the
words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., a beloved community where they strive to
see each other as spiritual brothers and sisters.
I deliberately chose to stay at BYU for my graduate degree even knowing that I'm gay
because of the people and the connections I have made here. BYU is home.
It's easy to respect someone when you know them personally, but we don't and we
can't know all that someone is going through, has gone through, or what hits
close to home. What it really comes down to is having respect for other people
and respect for sacred topics, sexuality included. We can choose to treat everyone
even those who may be listening on the outskirts of the conversation with respect.
I'm Baptist. I'm from Denver, Colorado, and I'm on the track team here at Brigham
Young University. In an activity with Liz Darger in the upper campus SAC, I
realized that how people identify me here, which is non LDS, is not how I'm
identified back at home. The most interesting thing that I hear from
people on this campus is that they can't tell that I'm not a member of the church
because I'm so nice, which is kind of a backwards compliment because you're
basically insinuating that if you're not a member of the church, and you're not as
nice or approachable. From my personal experience, I feel respected when people
are willing to set aside their assumptions and ask me questions in a
respectful manner.
Living in student housing is a great way to
learn how to get along with others.
You get to live with people who have very different experiences and backgrounds.
Interestingly, the person we learn most about is ourselves. Generally students
try their best to be disciples of Christ, but we've all got blind spots.
Students sometimes don't realize the way they talk, the things they do, how they
represent themselves, or even decorate their rooms can be hurtful to others.
The university experience creates an intensive time of learning for everyone,
but not all lessons are taught in the classroom. We regularly see beautiful
changes in students lives as they broaden their perspectives and come to
love and respect each other for their differences.
At the Center for Conflict Resolution, we developed peacemaking leaders. We teach
conflict transformation skills to BYU students, and we show them that they can
be respectful despite their disagreements in order to resolve conflicts.
We teach people to develop an outward mindset. In conflict, we tend to
see people as obstacles or as irrelevant or even as vehicles to be used. With an
outward mindset we see people as people with goals and needs and objectives just
like our own. By sharing what matters to us and by listening, it matters to others.
We can learn to respect and even admire those with opposing beliefs.