-But, I mean, with Bleachers that you're performing tonight,
Fun -- We had Taylor Swift on our show recently,
and she sang "New Year's Day.
And, man, what a knockout performance that was.
And you wrote that song with her, with Taylor.
-Yeah, and very quickly.
-Really? -Yeah.
-That came across fast? I never know how to write songs.
-You never wrote a song?
-I did, but nothing you would know.
-Do you ever just, like... [ Laughter ]
But you must -- Are you one of these people who just sings?
-I do. I hum into my iPhone. My wife things I'm crazy.
But, yeah, I wake up. I go, "This is a number-1 song."
-Oftentimes -- No, you're probably right.
And it's the dumb lyr-- Well, you know
the Paul McCartney "Yesterday" story.
-Oh, yeah. "Scrambled eggs."
-Oh, you did a... -Yeah.
Yeah, we did a bit on that.
-♪♪ I know a place for kick-ass scrambled eggs ♪♪
-Yeah. Exactly, yeah. -I've seen this.
But I often think those are the best melodies.
I'll get back to that.
We wrote that song in a second,
'cause we didn't plan to write it.
And I think if you plan to write, like,
a ballad or something like that,
you always get a little bit less than you hoped for.
And we wrote that and then the scratch take in my home.
We played it together.
-Do you ever get embarrassed, like, writing?
-Writing?
-Yeah, like, going to Taylor, "I like this.
It's called like...
♪♪ Happy day ♪♪ ♪♪ It's a happy day" ♪♪
-No. That's why I'm never around a lot of people.
I get embarrassed if there's a lot of people around.
-Oh, yeah. Me too. -So, when I first started...
[ Laughter ]
-I do. -Truly. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, writing music is not much different
than having, like, a physical.
You know, like, you wouldn't want...
[ Laughter ]
-Anyone... -Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah. Enough said. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hear what you're saying. Yeah.
-So, when I first started writing music,
I always wrote my own songs,
and it was a very lonely process.
And then the way the industry works,
they're like, "Oh, you should go into this writing camp."
And, right away, I was like, "This is terrifying for me."
So I only work with one other person,
where you can, like, buy the delusion together
and you can say something and not feel embarrassed.
Once you add another person -- three people --
then teams start happening.
It's terrifying. -Yeah, right?
-In my experience. -Yeah, sure.
-At private Jewish school in New Jersey.
-Well, you produced a soundtrack here.
Congratulations on that. "Love, Simon."
-It's not me. -Well, that is not you.
-That's not me. -No, that's not you.
I know that is not you.
-I don't want anyone at home to be like,
"He photographs beautifully, and then he..."
-"He doesn't shave." -Yeah.
-No, no, no. This is not you.
No, you produced this soundtrack.
And you actually perform the song you're doing tonight,
called "Alfie's Song (Not So Typical Love Song),"
is the name of the song.
And you wrote this song with Harry Styles.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Now, again, I would be intimidated that, you know,
when I was with Harry Styles, and you're like,
"Is this a good idea, like...
♪♪ Not your typical love song ♪♪
-Well, you've met him. He's, like, a cool kid.
-He is super-cool. -Yeah.
-But, still, I -- You know, I'd still be embarrassed.
I mean, I wouldn't know what to do.
But you're you now. -But hold on.
We got to get this embarrassed thing.
Like, some of these melodies you might be
coming up with and, like, humming into your phone --
back to the Paul McCartney, chicken wings, fake lyric,
waffle fries, whatever it was -- they might be great.
-I know, but they're bad. They're just bad songs.
-Perfect example -- I was making an English muffin.
I had this melody.
And the song was, "It might be time for an English muffin."
And I won't sing it to you, 'cause I want to use it.
The lyric was, "It might be time for an English muffin.
The second line was, "It might be time to
start making some money, which I thought was a funny...
[ Laughter ]
But the melody was great, and it came from the absurdity of --
It's the same way that people sing better
when they're doing an impersonation.
They're not scared.
So if you sing a goofy lyric,
you might come up with a great melody.
Point being, you know -- -Exactly. When you do an...
-Yeah, like, try it out, Jimmy. -All right.
I'll try it out next time you're on --
-Is there anything you can do for us?
-[ Laughing ] No. [ Laughter ]
No, there's not. [ Cheers and applause ]
Never. But I'll work on -- I promise I'll work on something
and I'll play it for you,
but I just want to play it for you only.
-Okay.
-In front of other people, I'll get embarrassed.
-Yeah. It's just me and you. -Just me and you.
Next time you come on -- -Like a physical.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm not making any promises.
-"Jimmy, the song is beautiful. The melody is great."
-"Jack, I'm gonna play you a song.
Turn your head. Turn your head and cough." Yeah.
That's the name of the song.
-"Turn Your Head and Cough." -"Turn Your Head and Cough."
Tonight, "Alfie's Song (Not So Typical Love Song)"
is what you're performing tonight.
Your dad will be in the band tonight.
Is this true? -Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] -This is exciting.
This is exciting for me.
Jack Antonoff, everybody.