chuckle I was wondering what your advice is for disagreeing up the chain of
command obviously this needs to be done with some tact ie in private not in
front of others but in those private conversations how should one
respectfully disagree again again similar question a better technique than
disagreeing is just to ask questions you know boss hey I want to make sure I get
this right can you explain it to me again can you can you watch me do it
right to your boss actually sees what the problem is that way you're not being
offensive Kay hey boss can you explain why you chose this course of action I
really want to learn from from what you did what you the way you do it I again
does that sound like a kiss-ass yes because I'm exaggerating you don't have
hey hey boss you're so incredibly smart no I'm not talking about that because
bosses don't like kiss-ass kisses at least good bosses good bosses don't and
actually even good bosses they might keep their kiss asses around but they
don't respect them so you don't gain influence by being a kiss-ass it's not a
good situation so I'm not talking about kissing ass but you know hey boss I'm
really want to understand this and make sure I understand it can you can you
explain to me why this is the best way to make this to do this versus the other
way you know that's the kind of question that's not kissing ass that's actually
you know it is actually legitimately wanting to know well like I legitimately
want to know maybe you what if we instead of assuming that we know better
than our boss what if we assume that my boss knows better than me let's make
that assumption and if you communicate with that assumption then you're
probably gonna communicate in a much better way then communicating with the
assumption that my boss is an idiot and I know better than them yeah which is
not a good way to communicate yeah funny you kind of said that about the kiss ass
guy cuz that comes up a lot - I don't wanna be kiss ass and yeah you don't
the kiss ass guy is the same thing as being friend-zoned you know what
friendzone mean yeah I do it's the same thing yeah so like the girl right
typically it's a guy who gets friendzone right because he's like too nice he's
too nice he's to whatever he'll it's he's a he's essentially a and you're
like a brother to me yes man that's what he is so of course
the girl's gonna keep him around for all this like good feeling
superficially by the way imagine lunch all the superficial stuff he's not gonna
get anywhere of legitimacy with her actual decision makings if you translate
that into the you know work environment or whatever well yeah the boss I mean a
certain kind of boss just like a certain girl's gonna keep a guy around for that
reason certain boss is gonna be like yeah I'll keep him around I feel a
little bit bad even firing the guy like that a little bit cuz he's just so nice
to me and gives me all these compliments and even in in a in a weird way I think
the kiss-ass guy kind of knows that too you know like how why would he ever fire
me even though yeah his job or whatever it because you know he can fire me I'm
just too nice to him you know there's that that feeling is floating around
it's what I'm saying but it's the same deal right like it's too many
compliments there's too much of a yes-man I'll keep you around for very
superficial reasons yeah that's it brother yeah you you don't get passed
yeah that's and that's not a good no place to be in no it's not sir that's
why I'm not saying kiss-ass and the way I just explained that of actually
assuming that your boss knows more than you isn't is a good way to approach the
situation as opposed to approaching the situation like you know more than your
boss well I act like that dude the outcome isn't gonna be inferior the
outcome is inferior the outcome of acting like your boss or assuming that
your boss knows more than you the outcome is you treat them with respect
because the other way you could try and treat them with expects a respect but
inadvertently you sound like you know some people I just we talk about normal
face right some people they cannot even ask a
question in an in a respectful way right they can't even what was I saying over
here they can't even say you know hey boss can you explain this to me because
I really want honor they can't even say that you know hey boss can you explain
this to me because it doesn't make any sense like we can't even I can't even
ask a question in a respectful way yeah that's a skill you should master as a
leader and as a follower as a leader and as a follower how to ask questions in a
respectful way Lafe pointed this out Lafe pointed out we were talking about
the fact of of I would say we with this story he's told a bunch of
times of going through the kill house and he's in the back of the Train and
you shouldn't be in the back of the Train you should be somewhere where you
can lead everyone cuz when you're in the back of the Train you don't know what's
happened in the front of the Train of assaulters a big group of people moving
through Klaus and I didn't and he goes you know Jocko didn't say hey stop doing
that and do it this other way he's like he asked me questions and he's like they
were real questions I wasn't like hey Leif why the hell are
you in the back of the Train yeah is that a respectful question no it's not a
respectful question but it's like hey Leif what are you doing in the back of
the Train yeah hey this is a respectful question I I'm actually assuming that
maybe Lafe who doesn't have the experience that I have
who's my subordinate as a platoon commander to meet a big task unit
commander my assumption is not that I know more than him my assumption is that
he's got a reason for that my assumption is that he knows more than me yeah which
well this is one of the one of jordan Peterson's twelve rules for life it's
like I think it's assumed the person that you're talking to knows more than
you what I'm saying is the same thing up and down the chain of command you assume
that your boss or your subordinate knows something that you don't know and if you
can if you can ask questions in that way instead of asking questions boss what
are we doing this for or life why are you doing that they fry you in the back
of the Train that's stupid no it's like hey Leif why are you in the back of the
train what do you what is it what is your purpose of being back there I I
genuinely genuinely want to know and and this isn't like I'm not even saying I'm
acting like that I truly genuinely want to know what the deal is
yeah so make the assumption up and down the chain of command that your boss your
subordinate knows more than you and then ask good questions with true genuine
curiosity that you want to know the answers to it's a good way to go about
it