WELCOME BARK EVERYBODY.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST FROM "NEW GIRL"
ANDCBS'S "THE NEIGHBORHOOD."
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," MAX GREENFIELD!
♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> YES, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, YOU DON'T LIVE IN NEW YORK.
YOU LIVE IN L.A.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU HAVE "THE NEIGHBORHOOD," THE CBS IT'S
SHOW OUT THERE.
>> WE'RE REAL EXCITED ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: YOU CAME HERE FOR THE WEATHER.
>> THE WEATHER.
>> Stephen: THE WONDERFUL, LATE-JANUARY WEATHER IN NEW
YORK.
GOOD TIMING.
>> I BROUGHT MY DAUGHTER OUT HERE WITH ME.
>> Stephen: I JUST MET HER BACKSTAGE.
SHE'S ADORABLE.
>> I'M JUST SO HAPPY THAT WE MADE IT BECAUSE SHE STARTED TO
SEE THE SNOW HAPPENING AND SHE GOES, "WE'RE NOT GOING TO
COLBERT."
( LAUGHTER )
"I THINK WE HAVE TO."
>> Stephen: THEY'VE ALREADY ANNOUNCED ME.
>> AND THEN SHE SAID, "WELL, UNLESS THIS SNOW GOES TO JERSEY,
I'M NOT GOING."
>> Stephen: WOW!
>> AND I THOUGHT, WELL, THAT'S KIND OF FAIR.
>> Stephen: WOW.
YOUR CHILD IS ONE OF THE DEAD END KIDS.
DOES SHE HOCK NEWSPAPERS ON STREET CORNERS IN A TATTERED
HAT?
>> DO YOU?
>> Stephen: EXTRA, EXTRA!
SNOW'S GOING TO JERSEY!" THAT'S FANTASTIC.
DO YOU GUYS-- SHE'S RIGHT BACK THERE.
WOULD YOU MIND IF WE JUST-- THERE SHE IS.
SAY HI, LILY.
THERE SHE IS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DOES SHE-- DOES SHE-- THAT'S
VERY NICE OF YOU TO SHARE-- THANK YOU, LILY.
DID YOU-- DOES SHE GO TO WORK WITH YOU?
>> YES, SHE DOES, SHE DOES.
I-- YOU KNOW, WE STARTED SHOOTING THIS NEW SHOW "THE
NEIGHBORHOOD," TAPED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE --
>> Stephen: YOU JUST GOT PICKED UP FOR A SECOND SEASON.
>> YEAH, WE JUST FOUND OUT.
( APPLAUSE )
IT'S TAPED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE, AND THE FIRST
COUPLE OF TIMES WE DID IT, I HAD A LOT OF ANXIETY AND I SAID,
"LILY, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN COME."
AND I KNEW SHE REALLY WANTED TO, AND SHE UNDERSTOOD THE PROCESS.
AND I WOULD CHECK INSTAGRAM, AND I WOULD SAY WILL SMITH, AND HE'S
SOINCLUSIVE WITH HIS KIDS, THEY THOUGHT I SHOULD JUST BRING HER,
YOU KNOW.
SHE'LL BE FINE.
I SHOULD INCLUDE HER IN WHAT I'M DOING.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> AND IT'S GREAT.
AND IT'S WONDERFUL.
99% OF THE TIME IT'S REALLY LIKE AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE.
BUT THEN THERE WILL BE TIMES WHEN YOU'RE SITTING THERE, AND,
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GETTING READY FOR A SCENE, AND ALL THE CAMERAS
ARE SETTING UP, AND SHE'LL, LIKE YOU KNOW SAUNTER IN.
SHE'LL BE LIKE, "HEY, DAD."
"YEAH, LILY, WHAT'S UP?" "I'M BORED."
AND I GO, "WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
I'M AT WORK.
SHE'S LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW.
I'M KIND OF HUNGRY."
AND I'M LIKE, "WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE DOING
HERE.
LIKE, GO AWAY!"
>> Stephen: THERE'S A KRAFT SERVICES TABLE.
ALL THERE IS IS FOOD.
>> BUT YOU DON'T SEE THAT ON WILL SMITH'S INSTAGRAM.
THEY DON'T SEE THOSE MOMENTS.
IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES.
>> Stephen: NO, HE'S A BETTER FATHER THAN YOU ARE.
( LAUGHTER )
MARS."
AND WE KNOW THERE'S ANOTHER MOVIE COMING OF "VERONICA MARS."
>> IT'S A LIMITED SERIES ON HULU.
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES "LIMITED" MEAN?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN TELL BUS-- YOU'RE GOING
TO BE IN THE LIMITED SERIES.
>> YEAH, I'VE BEEN KIND OF GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN "VERONICA
MARS" AND "THE NEIGHBORHOOD."
IT HAD BEEN GOING WELL UNTIL THE OTHER DAY WHEN I RECEIVED AN
EMAIL FROM ONE OF THE PRODUCERS, WHO I KNOW VERY WELL, DAN
ETHRIDGE, WHO SAID, "WHAT'S YOUR COMFORT LEVEL WITH EROTICISM?"
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND.
WAIT A SECOND.
>> THAT WAS MY-- AND I GO, REQUEST IT'S-- "IT'S ZERO NOW
THAT YOU'VE ASKED ME THIS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" >> Stephen: "UNTIL YOU SAID
THE WORD 'EROTICISM'" I WAS COMFORTABLE.
>> I WAS OKAY UNTIL YOU PHRASED IT LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: I'M OKAY WITH SEX.
EROTICISM IS I'M A PLAY THING FOR A BILLIONAIRE.
>> I DON'T-- I'M LIKE, "I'M NOT INTO THIS."
AND THEN HE GOES, "WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU A SCENE.
WE'RE DOING A SCENE."
>> Stephen: HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
LILY.
HEY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
YOUR DAD.
>> -- THIS IS LILY, EVERYBODY.
DO YOU MIND.
YOUR DAD AND I HAVE TO HAVE AN ADULT CONVERSATION FOR A SECOND.
WOULD YOU GO BACK TO THE DRESSING ROOM REAL QUICK?
( APPLAUSE )
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO?
( LAUGHTER ).
>> STEPHEN, IT'S CRAZY, MAN.
I READ IT TO-- THEY SENT ME THE SCENE, AND I READ IT TO BETH
BEHRS WHO PLAYS MY WIFE ON "THE NEIGHBORHOOD."
WE WERE DOING A SCENE WHERE SHE HAD TO CLIMB A ROCK CLIMBING
WALL AND SHE WAS NERVOUS.
I SAID, I KNOW YOU'RE FEELING NERVOUS ABOUT THIS.
YOU SHOULD SEE THE SCENE I JUST GOT SENT.
I READ HER THE SCENE, AND HER REACTION AS I READ-- THERE ARE
NO LINES.
IT'S ALL DESCRIPTIVE.
AND HER REACTION AS I KEPT GOING DOWN WAS, "OOOH!
OOOOOH!" THEY USE WORDS LIKE "THRUST."
( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )
>> I'M TELLING YOU, MAN.
>> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT POSSIBLY MEAN? !
( LAUGHTER ).
>> STEPHEN, I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY THINK THEY CAST IN THE
ROLE.
I WAS LIKE -- >> Stephen: MAX GREENFIELD.
MAX "THRUST" GREENFIELD.
WHAT ELSE HAPPENED?
SO WHAT OTHER WORDS DID THEY USE.
>> "MOAN."
>> Stephen: THRUST, MOANS.
>> AND THEY USE THESE WORDS MULTIPLE TIMES.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: AND IS THIS A TWO-PERSON SCENE?
( LAUGHTER )
♪ ♪ ♪ SIMPLE YES OR NO, SENATOR.
>> IT IS A TWO-PERSON SCENE.
>> Stephen: TWO-PERSON SCENE.
I DON'T .>> I DON'T WANT TO SPIL MUCH BUT I THINK I'M ALLOWED TO
SAY IT'S A TWO-PERSON SCENE.
>> Stephen: IT COULD HAVE BEEN A MONOLOGUE.
I'M SORRY.
A MOAN-A-LOGUE.
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS-- CATEGORIES--
>> THIS IS NOT A CONGRATULATIONS.
>> Stephen: NO, IT'S CONGRATULATIONS.
NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED ME TO DO ANYTHING THAT INCLUDE THE WORDS
"THRUST AND MOAN" IN THEM, I MEAN, IN MY PRIVATE LIFE.
>> NEITHER HAVE I.
I READ THE SCENE TO MY WIFE, AND SHE GOES, "YEAH.
THIS IS GOOD FUR."
AND I WENT, "WHAT!
" I GO, "I CAN'T DO THAT."
SHE GOES, "I KNOW YOU CAN'T.
ACT."
( APPLAUSE )
GOOD LUCK.
"THE NEIGHBORHOOD" AIRS ON MONDAYS AT 8:00 ON CBS.
MAX GREENFIELD, EVERYBODY!