The Oscars are this weekend, isn't that exciting that the Oscars?
[APPLAUSE] >> Boy, Sunday night,
all the big stars put on their most glamorous outfits, and
then Monday morning they tear off their Spanx like raccoons with hot pockets.
[LAUGH] >> There were a lot of incredible
performances this year.
Natalie Portman transformed herself into Jackie Kennedy.
[LAUGH] >> Amy Adams learned how to speak Mandarin.
[LAUGH] >> Ryan Gosling drove on the 405 in
the rush hour.
[LAUGH] >> So brave.
[LAUGH] >> This year there
are nine movies nominated for best picture.
With that many movies, it's hard to remember which one you've seen, and
then which one do you have to pretend like you saw.
[LAUGH] >> You're in a conversation, and
you're like yeah, Hacksaw Ridge, yeah, that was so, so good.
That was, boy, when they went over the ridge.
[LAUGH] >> They had the hacksaws, so yeah.
[LAUGH] >> Good, good.
That's so so good.
Actually they did a pole and they found out,
that only 47% of Americans have seen one of the best picture nominees.
So since most of you have not seen them,
I thought I would tell you a little bit about them.
First, there's a movie Lion.
And if you don't know what this story is,
the main character gets separated from his family and can't find his way home.
He ends up in Australia,
and then he goes on a long journey across the ocean to reunite with his family.
I like this movie a lot, and I liked it better when it was called Finding Dory.
[LAUGH]
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>> It's mine like
act like a real story at all.
[LAUGH] >> Next, there's La La Land,
people are saying that this is the favorite twin best picture, and
it is a musical love story between Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling.
A lot of people love this movie, but I didn't think it was very realistic.
I mean, nobody has ever looked across the room and
just stared at someone and just starts dancing with them.
That just doesn't happen.
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>> Boy. >> [APPLAUSE]
>> Boy, completely unrealistic
like I said.
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