Good day to you, sir.
How may I help you?
The Barber said I have "Delirium of the Bowels,"
but the bloodletting's just made it worse.
Well, you've come to the right place, sir.
No need for any more barbaric or outdated procedures.
Our chief of surgery and his team,
they are the best in the nation.
If you come right this way.
Dr. Thackery, I have your next patient here.
(chair squeaks)
Then the game is on.
(kids' voices) Junior!
The patient is a 38-year-old man
with an acute infection in his lower bowel.
Untreated, his condition will quickly deteriorate.
I'll make an incision thusly.
(sniffs)
Ahh.
And then operate using a revolutionary method
of my own design.
Nurse Elkins, scalpel.
(squishing sounds)
Scissors.
We're losing him, Thackery.
Let's hope to God this works.
(Kid Chickering) We've lost his pulse!
(Kid Gallinger) Thackery, it's over.
No!
He just needs more glue!
We've lost him.
Damn it!
(grunts)
You're not supposed to have those before dinner.
Shut up! I want more Pixy Stix!
(screaming)
Oh, dear.
Right this way.
Dr. Thackery, in light of today's... events...
the Board of Directors saw fit
to hire an additional chief of surgery.
Like hell! The Knick is mine!
Dr. Thackery, please.
Mine!
No, it is mine.
Mine!
Doctors, doctors, doctors! In this hospital, we share.
We share.
(woman) Is this a bad time?
Hello, John.
Amy?
(sniffles)
(grunts)
Who got your nose?
After we parted ways,
it was ravaged by cooties.
We can sew your face to your arm.
Sew my face to my arm?
That's the cure?
Yeah.
Are you looking at my nose?
(sobbing)
(Herman Barrow) Right this way, Amy,
already looking good.
That is so cool.
Cool.
(Kid Algernon) How did you do that? Great job.
So that's-- that's it?
I just... stay like this with my face attached to my arm?
(agreeing enthusiastically)
You guys are here 'cause you're, you're walking me out or...
Yup.
Oh, and don't pull your... arm out.
It'll, like, rip it off.
Any sort of home care, I should... worry about or...
Just go.
All right, bye.
We're gonna keep in touch, all right, or...
Okay.
(Amy) Oh, you guys, it does not look weird?
(all) No, no, no.
'Cause it feels weird,
I mean, it honestly--
Ow!
Ooh...
(screaming)
Ooh.
Bye!