you could just
smell the presence of evil there
i sort of like grabbed my leg and i said
i think i've been shot
and as his dad said i think it's a bomb
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
it's may 2017. what does life look like
for you
just rosie bringing up is he just
enjoying
everything that was going on
my main goal then was to get into
university and
that was my main wish
and i can remember getting dressed
thinking the guy's so hot what we're
going to wear
and i can remember the jeans put on me
white blouse everything
it was such a nice beautiful day and i
just thought i said to myself just let's
finish off strong and
it's going to be the best when you come
back home and
you're going to start your real journey
it was just a very happy sunny day izzy
was just
buzzing ariana was one of the ones that
she really wanted to see
when she started to sing one last time
we got up off the steps
and walked to the door
[Music]
everyone in the crowd they were just
screaming and like they were just like
oh this is amazing and stuff
and i'm just there the fire is just
thinking i wish i could just go in
[Music]
[Applause]
she did another on call with dangerous
woman i knew is he won't leave till then
i knew we're in for a wait stood here
and that's
obviously just when it happened
people stopped for for a second it was a
brief second and then
[Applause]
people were just trampling over
anyone possible even the younger
children they were just
moving people out of the way they were
just getting pushed left right and
center
just an almighty bang
darkness and it felt like it was raining
look ash it's like being at a bonfire
and there was ash coming down
it was calm at first but then all of a
sudden there was just
screams that were earpiercing
they asked the crowd who was outside has
anybody got any first-year training or
is anybody first aid trained
if so if you know anything just go
through them doors i run so fast to the
door
and
i remember
opening the door and then that's when i
first saw
the the scene and
there was a handbag there was a shoe
with a foot in it
i you know you can see everything and
it's then you start taking it in
of what sort of is going on around you
it was a very distinct smell
i mean i never smelled anything like it
before or even after
and the smell and just chaos
just chaos everywhere at that moment he
was just like
i either run home or i stay and help
these people
so i made the decision quickly that i
need to help these people and
i said to myself listen we'll deal with
the feelings and everything later
we'll now just try and do your best to
help people
i sort of like grabbed my leg and i said
i think i've been shot
and his dad said i think it's a bomb
due to an incident it is necessary
to evacuate the area
is just so surprising because it's
it was so quiet there i mean now
thinking back
all of the chaos that was happening
around people would think there's
more chaos inside but it was just so
quiet and so sinister
you could just smell the presence of
evil there
i could just see how much blood i was
losing and i just thought how long
can i stay here for i go to around
four or five people and um they're not
moving so i think they're dead
actually decide who to go to who who i
think is going to make it or not
i can remember just staring at the
ceiling i didn't want to look at
anything i didn't want to
take my eyes off space on the ceiling i
love everyone i just see
i just seen her she was flying the floor
looking at the ceiling so
this young lad came up to me and he said
my name's usman
what's your name his eyes were just so
dark and he just
was so compassionate she was opening
eyes and closing eyes
and i could tell she was drifting in and
out of consciousness
there was times when i wanted just to
close my eyes and go to sleep
but he was not going to let me so my
main thought was quickly
to get her awake and get her talking and
uh moving again
i'm thinking is this it is this where
i'm going you know it's going to be the
end
she starts shaking quite violently and
um
she's saying she's saying i don't want
to die i don't want to die here
would i ever see my children again i was
thinking about myself as well
my main thought was i'm not going to be
there for them
out of nowhere i say um you need to
think about your children you think
about your kids and as soon as i said
that
her eyes just completely little he just
kept me calm he just kept me still
and obviously he knew that obviously my
head was bleeding as well
you could just see a lot of holes and
you could see i think she had black or
grey pants on and you could see a dark
patches so i thought that's where the
nails have gone in
there was a bolt through my leg so he
knew it was
bleeding really heavily i take my belt
off and i wrap it around her upper thigh
just above the um the wound you know i
could feel my head i could feel my foot
kept screaming for them to take my shoe
off
and she kept asking me how bad is it you
know it's really bad and i said listen
it's going to be all right it's going to
be fine
he he was just calm he for a young
lad he was really calm and i turned
around and i'm looking back
and i've just got my my elbow just put
my hand in my
head and my elbow and i just first
started crying and
just trying to breathe trying to collect
myself and i just kept saying to god
just please
get me out of it just please get me out
of here i didn't have any sense of time
but i felt like had been there for hours
and hours and hours i'm just thinking
where
where were the medics and resemblance
crew
[Applause]
[Music]
you get to a point where a shock's over
and then
it's like someone who someone's dimming
the light and the light inside
the light of your soul is someone's
dimming it down to a point where
you feel as if your body can't even hold
you up anymore
it just it's like someone sucking the
soul out of you
you know you have these heroes that went
in and did what they did he was one
and i just don't think he realizes he
actually is one
because he just did what he thought was
his job
i would like to you know meet up with
him and just
i don't know i don't know what even what
to expect it's hard because
thank you doesn't seem enough
[Music]
hi wow you've changed
how are you i'm all right you're doing a
lot better yeah oh yeah
yeah you know i've got over sort of the
physical sides of it you know i'll
always
have something going on physically but
it's
you know the mental sides more than
anything isn't it yeah yeah
i hit a really low point from 2019
it's like you're throwing in um it's
thrown in the world where you don't
belong
you're a complete outcast you don't
belong in that well and you want to be
you want to be um you want to you want
to feel wanted you want to feel
normal you just want to feel normal
again so you have to practice you have
to practice smiling in the mirror you
have to wear a mask
i think for you you saw so much more
than than i did you know i was just
lying there i mean
thankfully you were there i must have
said it a thousand times too you said
it's going to be all right
you're gonna get home safety yeah i did
so you were right so
you know that that's the way to look at
it isn't it but it
it has been lovely just to see you again
really
and you know we don't have to stay
strangers do we
[Music]
you get to know somebody but we had to
get to know each other quite quickly
so he was just a lovely person lovely
warm
kind-hearted person she made me feel
like i was a hero but i'd call myself a
hero if
i could help people who were going
through depression anxiety and ptsd
and show them the light and be like a
role model to them
yeah good for you
thank you