(00:11): How can we reclaim our sexuality after sexual
trauma?
I'm a survivor of incest among other abusive themes.
In my childhood, I carry a lot shame about past sexual activity that was inappropriate
or didn't serve my highest good.
Now, whenever I tap into my sexual energy, I feel this connection to the past and those
shameful experiences.
It's like the experience of incest is tangled and noded into my experience of sexuality.
How can I untangle these two energies?
(00:42): So healing from sexual trauma is this is probably
one of the hardest wounds to, uh, to heal, especially if it's sexual trauma that was
incurred with a family member or someone we love because there's a connection, not just
the trauma, isn't just at the level of the genital, the sexual area, but it's also at
the level of the heart.
If you have an emotional connection with the person that's abusing you.
So, um, so there's a, a deeper issue here.
Uh, sexual trauma of this nature tends to be harder to heal than a rape.
For instance, when a woman is raped, uh, when someone is raped by, by a person, they don't
know there isn't an emotional connect at the heart.
And so that healing tends to be a bit easier because it's located down more in the genital
area, energetically.
So when it comes to this type of sexual trauma, it, it takes, it takes a lot of time and patience.
(01:35): I would say that was at least the case for
me, a lot of time and patience.
And one of the things that was really breakthrough for me and he healing this type of trauma
in myself, was actually going into the trauma on an energy level within my own body.
So in the genital area, uterus genital, uh, vaginal area, I did healing actually, uh,
in this specific area.
So I worked with plant medicine with iowaska and during one of those ceremonies, I actually
went through a healing where I felt the plant.
I felt the energy inside my genitals, trying to heal all of this, um, this leftover energy
that had been left over from the sexual trauma.
Um, your, your body really absorbs trauma and holds onto it.
And so when it comes to sexual trauma, this needs to be dealt with and pro this on a very
biological body level.
(02:26): So I did this work and I recommend this for
everyone.
Uh, who's, who's healing, sexual trauma to go to a qualified therapist.
And usually these are people that have extensive training in what's known as tantra.
Uh, so the, the branch of tantra, um, there are, are, uh, sexual healers called tantric.
Um, that's what they're called.
And they work on helping people heal.
I worked with plant medicine.
So if you wanted to, if you wanna work with plant medicine and do that energetic healing
that way, or you can go into tantra and look for qualified tan, that will actually help
you do this sexual healing on an actual body level, um, helping to process any energy that
may be stuck in the genital area, in these lower chakras and in the vaginal area, uh,
for any type of trauma.
So that for me is first, um, cuz what I was experiencing, it it's really to work and heal
on the mind level, having to do with beliefs and with shame and with guilt.
(03:23): It's hard to do that healing on a mind level
when the, the genital and the uterus area is very tangled up with trauma, with energy,
uh, with cords, sometimes energy cords that are still established between you and the
abuser.
And so that needs to be cleaned up on a very, very body level.
And so sometimes when people try to start healing sexual trauma through like psychotherapy,
or just through the mind, it'll only get you so far because you have to eventually get
into the body and, and do that work when we're going through sexual trauma, especially if
it's trauma that that happens with someone we know, uh, and if it happens through extensive
time periods, what ends up happening is that person disassociates, they fragment from their
body as a way to protect themselves.
And so when you're healing sexual trauma, you have to do that connection work.
(04:13): You have to come into your body.
And this was hard for me.
I was so disconnected from my body.
I didn't know how to be my own skin.
And so a lot of the work that I did was very embodied work coming into my body.
I remember I would dance in front of the mirror.
I would do mirror work just naked in front of the mirror so that I got used to honoring
my body, seeing my body as holy as sacred.
And so I started to do this very, very body focused work.
And then eventually I noticed that the beliefs, the shame, the guilt, all of the mind level
trauma, it started to disintegrate.
As I started to do the very embodied work of, uh, with my body, the very, very kind
of raw, this is very feminine energy type of work going into your body, very raw, accepting
your body.
(05:01): Doing this very body focused work is really
important.
And for me, tantra helped a lot.
So I'm gonna, I'll bring that one up again.
Um, looking into tantra, learning tantra, going to tantra workshops, maybe really, really
helpful tantra is a beautiful tradition that helps so many people who have a history of
sexual trauma helps.
So many people heal because you reclaim the, the purity and the sacredness of sexual energy
and you kind of disintegrate the shame and the guilt associated with things that may
have happened to you in your past.
Okay.
So I really recommend tantra looking into workshops, looking into books on tantra and
starting to study tantra, um, uh, that way.
Um, so that's another recommendation that I have, but ultimately it takes time.
It takes patience.
It takes so much love a lot of veneration of your body and I'm gonna leave one last
thing that just kind of dropped on my head right now, also having the right partner.
(05:59): So if you are in a partnership right now,
teaching your partner to help you heal, but it takes a really special partner to be able
to help you heal from sexual trauma.
Because, because the association with sex, sometimes when we're unhealed, the association
with sex, uh, brings up feelings of shame and of guilt and, and of feeling dirty almost
that you have to have a really special partner that understands the sacredness of sexuality
that under, that maybe even has an understanding of tantra.
And so that partner can then through, uh, sexual union, you can heal all of these traumas
that are stuck in your body also.
So you can do this healing through, uh, a therapist like in Toko.
You can do this healing with a partner.
If the partner, um, understands how to use, uh, sacred sexual energy and how to be very,
very gentle, how to be very patient with you, just that union, that loving sexual union
with another partner, with someone that you love.
And that loves you really go a long way in helping you heal from sexual trauma.
I hope this helps.