Wear this, Nevel!
Wh what is she…
Oh, no.
- Let’s go right now. - Bring it!
[arguing]
Oh!
Get off me! Get her off me!
Unbelievable. Carly Shay just tackled the sickly grandmother of Shelby Marx.
Help me. Help!
I fell!
Awe. You don’t like me spending so much time with Sam?
No.
So, maybe I should spend a little less time with Sam
and a little more time with someone else.
What are you doing?
- Kiss me. - What?
Sam doesn't have to know.
Ow! Did you just thump me?
How dare you try to kiss me when you’re dating Sam! You’re, you’re icky!
[grunting]
- Wa, wa, wait! - What?
It’s perfect now. Don’t hit it again.
Am I ungrounded and can I hang out with Griffin?
No, you are not, and no, you cannot. Agh!
- As I was saying, I wan… - You guys ever been to Fresno?
- Shut up! - What? I was just…
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! - What’s your deal?
My deal is you haven’t let me finish one sentence all night!
and I can’t take it anymore! It’s like you won’t even let…
What you’re trying to say?
Get outta here!
I hope this thing is powerful enough to blow that chip.
No, no, no, no, no.
- Let Carly do it. - Why?
‘Cause Carly cares about me. At least she’ll try to be gentle.
She won’t just take a thing and stick it…
[gurgling]
Here, gimme that.
- What are you doing? - Just to be sure.
[gurgling]
Now, all y’all women out there, know that Steven is a cheesy waz, skunk bag!
Wait! This is live on iCarly?!
Uh huh. But don’t worry.
Only like a million people are watching, so.
Yeah! So, it’s not like your old life’s over. Oh wait.
It kinda is.
Chuck failed his math test.
Oh, no.
It’s not your fault. He made up some fake number called dirf.
Dirf?
I learned it from you.
Ok, that does it, Chuck.
If you’re gonna blame Carly for your failure,
I’m going to ground you for three weeks.
Dad!
Mr. Chambers. You know, I also had trouble with math when I was a boy.
So, my dad sent me to math camp for the whole summer.
- Math camp? - Math camp?!
Yes. Here’s a brochure.
Ooh! Camp Add ‘Em Up.
This looks perfect.
Enjoy your summer, Chuck.
Yeah, Chuck.
Shelby is one seriously tough chick.
Oh, I don't know Carl's. I think you could take her.
Yeah, right.
You hear that, Shelby Marx?
I could kick your butt anytime, anywhere.
Let's go, Shelby.
I'm Paul.
- I'm a DJ. - See ya, Paul.
- Hey! Why’d you turn that off? - I’m turning you off.
- I don't understand. - Sign this.
Hmm. I don’t generally sign things unless I have Sako’s lawyer take a look...
- Sign it! - I don't even know what this is.
It’s a contract that says, I Spencer Shay,
hereby promise to never prank anyone ever again.
As long as ye shall live.
What is 'ye'?
Ye is you. It sounds official. Sign it.
And what if I don’t?
Well, then I might sneak into your room tonight
and push a pillow over your face 'til you stop kicking.
That's some pretty dark stuff.
Your report was outstanding. The best in the class.
Really? That's so great. Because I... You gave me a B?
But I thought you said it was the best in the class.
It was, but it was printed on three hole paper, which I hate.
Then just let me re-print it for you on paper that’s completely hole free.
Reports can only be submitted once, silly little truffle.
But this means I'll get a B plus for the semester.
Yes. Congratulations.
I’d like to punch three holes in him! That’s what I’d like to do!
I hate these stupid Tech Foots!
Carly. Is it wrong to tell a person that it's not polite
to talk with a mouth full of lasagna?
Is it wrong for a person to constantly pick on every little thing I do?
Yes, and yes.
You both should be furious with each other.
Furious!
I wouldn't say I'm furious. I...
Well, you should be furious.
What guy wants to go on a date and watch a girl go...
[mumbling]
I’m Sam Puckett.
Meh, wa wah wah!
Ewe.
And how can you sit there and listen to that whining nub go...
Meh! You’re using too much parmesan.
Meh!
Don’t chew with your mouth open.
Blah!
Seriously, why don’t you two just pick up your forks
and use them to jab each other in the eyes?
Okay. What are you doing?
You’re supposed to be helping us solve our problems.
No. You two should be solving your own problems.
Not expecting me to be your 24/7 couples counselor.
- I'm also a photographer. - This close to calling the cops!