I'm not gonna keep the hat on.
That was just the most extra thing that I could find, so...
Extroverted Sensing (Se), what the heck is it?
It's this weird cognitive function that doesn't seem to have
a lot of voices behind it on the internet.
So I thought that maybe me telling you my experience
of running with dominant 'Se' would help you, guys,
learn a little bit more about the function itself
and maybe what someone who runs with 'Se' needs in life.
Can you tell I didn't plan an intro for this video?
Before I did a deep dive into MBTI and the cognitive functions,
I honestly would not have known how to explain Extroverted Sensing to you
because I thought it was the only mode of living.
But now I've done some research and I've done some introspection
and I've realized that the function of Extroverted Sensing
is one that I was running with for most of my life
without even realizing it.
So for those of you who don't know,
Extraverted Sensing is the dominant function
of the ESTP and the ESFP, which I am;
It is the auxiliary function of the ISFP and the ISTP;
It is the tertiary function of the ENFJ and the ENTJ;
And it is the inferior function of the INTJ and the INFJ.
To sum up, Extroverted Sensing is collecting and interacting
with concrete and tangible data in the real world.
It's an exploring function, so it's similar to Extraverted Intuition or 'Ne',
which is another sort of exploring function.
However, where 'Ne' gathers and explores ideas and concepts,
'Se' gathers and explores real world, tangible data and experiences.
'Se' users can present similarly to 'Ne' users especially doms,
with any ENFP and ENTP, in that they're both running
with exploring functions.
However, their reasons for why they're exploring
and where they're getting their energy from
is actually completely different.
That's why, contrary to what the online test might tell you,
it's actually not really possible to be half ENFP and half ESFP.
Because the moment you change that second letter around,
the first and eighth function of both the types
completely switch around.
How does that work? How's that possible?
You tell me, online test, you tell me.
The important thing to understand about Extroverted Sensing,
and if there's one thing that you take away from this video,
let this be it:
Extroverted sensors get their energy, their fulfillment, their purpose,
their joy...
from experiencing things in the real world.
They will, therefore, be their most happy, free and fulfilled when they feel
that they are free and able to experience and interact with...
whatever they like in the real world.
Of course, if they're a mature 'Se' user, they will know that they cannot
just interact with anything they like in the real world,
but the joy comes from having the freedom to be able to make that choice.
It's important to note that for other extroverted types
who run with a more people-focused extroverted function, for example:
Extroverted Feeling (Fe), they get their energy from interacting with people,
whereas 'Se' users get their energy from just having experiences
whether there are people there or not in a sense.
It's why we might prefer being on the dance floor at a party
rather than in a conversation with you at a party.
It's more the experiences in the world than the people necessarily.
Don't get me wrong, it's so much better if someone is there,
but it's not necessary for us to get energy.
Extraverted sensors, let me know your thoughts on that in the comments.
One of the hardest things about being an extroverted sensor
is that it's really hard for us to engage in concepts or ideas,
I mean, we can, but it's just not natural, so it drains our energy a little bit.
It's not that we don't care about abstract concepts or ideas,
it's just that we prefer whatever is tangibly in front of us
than anything that we can create or conceive of in our minds.
I know that a hundred drawers just dropped of the intuitors in the audience.
This is why MBTI is so helpful!
You can understand what it's like for people who aren't like you.
We're a little bit different.
Even if I'm with seven people in a room, - which as an extrovert, right? -
that should give me a lot of energy.
Wrong!
If they're discussing concepts or ideas that are quite abstract
and not grounded in any kind of tangible, relatable way for me to the real world,
I will inevitably lose energy.
A good example of this is when I play D&D, which is a tabletop role-playing game,
which you basically sit around a table, you're all sitting in a chair for like...
it can be up to five hours.
You're playing a game, but it's all in your imagination, pretty much.
It's so much fun, but if there isn't enough role playing,
which for me is the thing that stimulates me,
because it's acting I get to do different voices, I get to be a character,
then I will inevitably need to nap after two hours.
Now...
I can't change this. This is just how I am.
It's the same as you, introverted types, and how you will get drained
if you're in a room full of people or there's too much energy.
After a certain amount of time, you're just gonna have to leave the room.
It's inevitable.
You can't stay there without losing your energy.
My preference will always be interacting with the immediate world,
the tangible world in front of me.
Being up on my feet, chatting, feeling things, moving quickly,
country-hopping, chasing thrills...
That's where all the stereotypes come from.
A lot of people sum up 'Se' as "living in the moment".
I feel that that rings true for us, because to me, at any given time,
I'm just focused on what's immediately in front of me
and I'm not thinking about tomorrow.
To me, next week, tomorrow just doesn't exist.
I mean, it exists, and like...
Of course, we use words that imply we're thinking about tomorrow,
but it doesn't come naturally to us
when the thing that's immediately fulfilling our needs
is right in front of us.
This can be problematic as a young ESFP
because it can lead you to make some pretty irresponsible decisions.
But, as with all types, we ESFPs can use MBTI to help us understand
that we need to take that step back and actively nurture that 'Ni' insight
that's going to help us make the best decisions for the long term.
Naturally, we don't see past the present moment.
Naturally, we're just immersed in whatever's in front of us,
and we just want to keep lapping up whatever is hitting us,
being adaptable to whatever is coming at us.
That's why we have the reputations for being entertainers, party animals, etc.
This also means that it's not super natural for us to...
want to wait for an outcome that's going to take a long time to achieve.
So as a result we can become quite impatient,
which makes sense, given that the real moment
is the only thing that's important to us, so...
We want to bridge the gap between action and outcome especially for ESFPs
because we have that 'Fi' auxiliary function
that lets us know exactly what we want, and so we know what we want
and we want it now.
Understanding this about being an ESFP can be really helpful in your own self growth
because it can help you to temper that naturally self-interested response
that's going to naturally make you have tunnel vision
to whatever you want in the moment and not consider the needs
of the other people around you.
So MBTI can help... Well, has helped me,
as an ESFP, realize that that's a natural tendency of mine.
I can't hide from it.
The only way to grow is to accept that it's a tendency in the first place,
and to try and overcome it, and to take that step back
in those moments when our 'Fi' is really driving us,
working with that impulsiveness of the 'Se' to do that thing
that makes us feel good right now.
Take that step back and be like:
"No. I know from the data that I've built up over my entire life
that this isn't going to be helpful. It might make me feel good right now,
but it's not going to be the best thing for me in the long run."
So back to my point...
We like to do things with immediate results,
so that's why we like things like sport because we're engaging in activity
and we're going to get the outcome of winning or losing straight away.
We like to fix things with our hands because we are in complete control
of when that outcome comes, and the outcome isn't far away.
We like to do things like perform, act, entertain
because we're getting that immediate reaction from the audience.
We're not gonna have to wait for that.
That's immediate gratification for what we're engaging in that moment.
The utilization of MBTI helps us to temper this natural impatience
that we might have as 'Se' users, and wanting to do things now
rather than wait for the long-term benefits or long-term outcomes.
It really hasn't been natural for me to implement changes in my life
that help me to focus on those long-term goals, but because of MBTI
I've really tried to implement those changes,
and I'm really feeling the fruits of them in that.
Even though it's not natural for me, I can feel that I'm becoming
a more well-rounded individual as a result.
Another popular belief about 'Se' users is that because of that "impatient tendency",
we don't like long-term planning.
That's not entirely true.
If I'm super invested in a long-term plan or goal
with my 'Fi', I will make it happen.
But again, it's not really my natural tendency to do that long-term planning
because my brain just naturally tells me I want to be open to anything
that comes at me, and I want to be adapting to whatever's hitting me.
So it's actually kind of silly for me to even assume that I'll know
what's going to be happening in the next month from now.
I once made a decision to pack up a suitcase and move to South Korea.
I had literally no fear or anxiety in deciding to uproot my life
and go move to another country where I knew no one.
I ended up living there for two and a half years,
and it was one of the best decisions I made.
That should tell you how naturally impulsive we are
and how that gut inside us really wants to follow these impulses.
The fact that I didn't feel fear or anxiety when doing that,
tells you that it is my natural mode,
the mode in which I am the most comfortable,
which really tells us a lot about those dominant cognitive functions
and how they are our natural mode that we are in without even trying
and they're our save your function,
the one we love, the one we're "addicted to".
Now, me saying that we have a natural tendency to be impulsive
and want to act on those impulses,
does not mean that we should act on all the impulses.
I am not saying that whatsoever.
Of course, as we become an adult as everyone does,
we have to make sacrifices about those things that we want to do all of the time
because we have to be responsible.
But it's helpful to know that that is our state that gives us the most life,
joy, energy, fulfillment, so that we can understand.
I still need to have space in my life to move within this function
in order to remain a fulfilled individual who's going to be the best version of me
for those people around who I love.
You need to make time for that first function.
It's not just going to change overnight.
You need to find ways to helpfully practice that.
Now, let's talk about some blessings about 'Se', so...
One of the best things about 'Se' is that...
I just don't worry a lot of the time.
If I've got something that I know I'm gonna be scared about
on friday coming up, something's gonna make me anxious,
I won't care about it until two hours before the thing.
It can mean that we don't prepare well sometimes,
but that's besides the point.
Another plus of having 'Se' is that I can focus really well entirely on one thing.
There are exceptions.
I find it, for instance, very hard to sit down with someone
and have a deep conversation at a party
when there are a thousand other sensory stimuli around me.
It's basically just like a kid in a candy store
for an ESFP who loves engaging in sensory experiences.
My 'Fi' cares very much for the person who wants to talk to me,
but my 'Si'... Sorry, my 'Se', lol...
is pulling me towards that dance floor, like you wouldn't believe.
And the 'Se' wins most of the time when I'm at a party,
but I always end up scheduling a coffee date with that person later in the week,
so that I can focus completely on them.
There is a difference with something that I'm super invested in.
So if I'm really invested in and I care a lot about it
or the stakes are really high, I will be able to completely zero in
and focus on that thing, without getting distracted
by any kind of sensory stimuli around me.
I think that sums up 'Se' really well, it's like...
we're really good at just sensory data and stimuli.
We're really good at dealing with it, handling it,
manipulating it if we need to, and it's what gives us our energy,
so we don't get overwhelmed by it.
It's why, I guess, we're such "people" people and why we're such entertainers,
is because we're naturally comfortable with a thousand different things around us.
The fact that there's an audience in front of us doesn't intimidate us,
and the fact that there are so many things going on
won't take away from our flow state. That is our flow state, so...
Okay, let's talk about some downsides.
I mean, I've kind of chucked a few downsides in here so far,
but obviously ESFPs have some pretty bad "reps" on the internet.
Don't know why.
Some of the downsides of having 'Se' as the dominant function
or maybe second function...
I don't know. You, guys, tell me in the comments.
... is that friendships can be really hard because if people don't understand
that we need that space, things can get messy,
and we can end up hurting people's feelings
without meaning to, which sucks... it really sucks.
For instance, we're not good at replying to messages like...
I've tried to change this about myself, and I just can't.
We, as extroverted sensors, are so occupied with what is immediately in front of us.
That friend is not immediately in front of us, so...
It's actually hard to articulate this in a way...
in a way that doesn't sound like we're the worst people.
I'm not saying that we shouldn't try and engage with our friends in this way.
I'm just alerting you to the fact that it is hard for 'Se' users
to maintain friendships via text message especially long distance friendships
or friendships where there's any kind of expectation from the other part
that we're gonna text them x amount of times per week
or we're gonna see them x amount of times per month.
I actually have four long distance friends with whom I've been long-distance friends
for over three years, and it works because there's no expectation
of how much we're going to talk to each other,
and they understand about me.
In fact, most of the friends I have in my life understand about me,
that I'd much rather meet face to face.
And when we're not meeting face to face, we're probably not communicating that much,
but it doesn't mean that I love them any less.
My extroverted sensing friends, we literally never communicate,
but then when we meet up with each other it's like we're besties,
it's like we never separated.
So if you have an extroverted sensor in your life,
it's probably good to understand that that is a weakness of theirs
and you might need to extend a little bit of grace to them in that way,
or suggesting more hangouts...
Maybe with some exciting activity like skydiving or something.
Another downside is that we are naturally playful,
and we do have the...
Sorry, that's not the downside.
The downside is that we have the best intentions...
That's also not the downside.
The downside is that we're super playful, and we do have the best intentions,
but it can often be perceived as attention seeking,
or arrogant, or obnoxious, or too much...
because we're just like puppy dogs especially in a new situation.
When I'm amongst people, and there's music and food,
and I can be flitting around, taking control of situations,
hosting, getting people cups of tea, telling jokes, telling stories,
engaging in other people's lives in short bursts, grabbing a microphone,
giving a speech, encouraging people to get on a dance floor,
that kind of stuff gives me life.
At parties and in situations like that I am just immensely comfortable.
And I feel like this is specifically the case for ESTPs and ESFPs
because 'Se' is dominating us rather than assisting us,
as it would for the ISFP and the ISTP.
So it can be much more obvious with those 'Se' dom users,
which is why they're so easy to identify especially in a party situation.
I do hope you've learned something about 'Se' in this video.
We'd love to hear your feedback in the comments.
I love having 'Se', I think it's fantastic,
but of course I do because I can't fathom life being any other way.
Now, this next bit is important:
Some of you in the comments might be thinking:
"Gosh! I wish I had 'Se', it sounds like so much fun...
life would just be so much easier."
I understand why you would say that, but I want you to understand that for you
that's not necessarily the case, and that's totally okay.
Remember that MBTI helps us to understand what we do need,
and for an 'Se' user that is living in the moment
and being in contact with that tangible world,
but not every type will get energy from "living in the moment" in that way.
I would never tell an INTP or an INFP to get out of their heads
and live in the moment by engaging in the tangible world around them
and not exploring thoughts and ideas because that's not going to fuel them.
They don't value that. That's not important to them.
Their version of living in the moment they do do,
but it looks completely different.
Their version of living in the moment might just be engaging with the idea
that's immediately hitting them or talking about, I don't know,
emotions or feelings with people.
I don't know. Tell me in the comments, guys:
What's your version of living in the moment?
Anyway, your version of living in the moment
is gonna look completely different, but for us, for 'Se' users,
living in the moment in terms of engaging
with the tangible world, gives us energy, it gives us life, it fuels us.
If you have an 'Se' user in your life especially an 'Se' dominant user
or if you want an 'Se' user in your life, you're gonna have to understand that.
I think I'll leave it there, because I want to leave
some of those more detailed topics for another video
or so I could talk forever, let's be honest.
Thank you for watching this video, guys!
I hope that you're well.
And I'll chat to you later.
Bye!