Hey guys, so I've just woke up
It's about 10am and I am currently upside down in Adelaide, Australia
and we have a rare day off from tour so I thought I would take you with me on this adventure
but first of all
breakfast
Okay, I've ordered breakfast but now I'm talking to you so I don't fall back asleep and snooze and miss it
Because it's always horrible if the door bangs and you're like 'Bah! I'm awake! I'm here!'
What is that? That has been disturbing me the whole time I've been lying in bed
It's kind of like a robot or a Titan or something
(hums theme from Attack on Titan)
I don't know what that part of his body is
For breakfast I've ordered some Aussie pancakes
I don't really know what is "Australian" about them, so let's find out...
Ooh!
I don't know what that is Maybe that's like wombat milk or something
Pancake review is about a 4 out of 5 I mean, it could've done with more maple syrup
but I was liking whatever that wombat milk was
I should stop doing that
Right, I'm dressed and ready Let's see if my next-door neighbour is awake
Uh-oh, "Do Not Disturb"
(knocks)
That was such an annoying knock
Hello?
Hello? Oh my God, hi, you're filming me!
(Phil) You're actually awake!
Hello!
Why would I not be awake? It's...
Midday
It's the middle of the day, Phil (Phil laughs) Of course I'm awake
(Phil) Have you seen any giant spiders?
Uh, not yet, no I'll let you know if there's a dropbear in the room later
(Phil) Nice balcony!
Thanks mate
(Phil) You've got it all to yourself; look at this!
(Dan) What do you mean?
(Phil) Mine's got another creepy person there
You're sharing it with someone?
Yeah
Hahaha, you suck I have the best balcony
(Phil) Ooh I was expecting Australia to be a bit more desert-y
Phil! Australia isn't just a giant desert!
(Phil laughs)
(Phil) But there's actually green grass and trees
Oh my God, they have trees in Australia?
(face slap)
(Phil laughs)
(Phil) I think down there looks like a giant PokéBall
(Dan) Is it a PokéStop?
(Phil) I think it is a PokéStop
(Dan) Oh my God it's literally a PokéStop
So we are out on a snack-quest
Oh my God we're-- wait, what the hell is that?
So here in Australia, Burger King is called Hungry Jack's
Why--
I don't know
Why is it called Hungry Jack's?
That's so random, isn't it?
That does not make any sense
It's kind of a funny name, though (In Australian accent) 'Get a Whopper from Hungry Jack's'
(Phil with Australian accent) Hungry Jack's
They literally changed nothing but the name
(Phil) No
(Phil) It's so funny how everything is the same
But upside down
(Phil) Touch the Adelaide Balls
(Phil) Give it a hug
It's a metaphor for something but I don't want to think about what Adelaide's trying to say there
So this is why we're here, Dan
Why?
TimTams
Aren't they just biscuits? I'm just putting that out there
It's the food of Australia!
Is it? "The food of Australia"?
Wow, they have a lot of flavours, what's going on here
Look at all this!
(Dan) Pina Colada Chocolate
(Phil, incredulously) What?
(Phil) Espresso Martini
(Dan) I think we know which one we're gonna get
(Phil) Strawberry Champagne
Oh my God Phil, watch out
Snakes!
Phil, stop disrespecting Australia
(Phil) Australian money is so cool!
(Dan) They've still got our Queen on it
(Dan) Hey Liz, how ya doing?
You can totally see through it
(Dan) Wow
(Dan) I feel like that's slightly offensive, Phil
(Dan) Phil is an angel
(Dan) Confirmed
(Phil makes angelic noise)
Now I like TimTams, but that's like the caramel flavour, why'd you get toffee apple?
Oh it smells so strong!
Smell that! That smells good!
That's the smell of artificial apples
That smells like Halloween
Oh God
Mm! That's a good one It works
That works! That's a strong work
Look at the inside as well! That's cool
So there's something called a 'TimTam Slam' that you can do
where you drink through the biscuit
Iced Honeycomb flavoured milk
What the hell is-- Okay, wait, wait--
Made by Nippy's
Nippy's milk
That's good
It tastes great, but now sniff it
Ugh!
I don't want to know what's in that!
How do they make it?
So that gets an 8 from me What's it get from you?
I can't do an 8, oh there we go
What is wrong with your hands?
My fingers don't want to move
Phil does an 8:
(shrieking)
Explain what the 'TimTam Slam' is
You bite one corner off the TimTam, bite the opposite diagonal corner off the TimTam
and then suck the milk up through a straw
I'm just gonna shuffle over here
Go Phil! You bite that corner
Here we go!
Yup
Is it working?
Oh my God! Straw action!
It works!
He's drinking! He's drinking--
That was like, very fast and angry Um.. how was it?
You literally just shoved that whole thing in your mouth--
(Phil) So what are we doing today, Danny?
This is a very scary angle, I feel like I'm being interrogated right now
Don't mind me, just lounging about with my footstool
(Phil) Look at this!
Factoid: in England it's called a 'poof'
(Phil) Poof
That's just a much better word, isn't it?
Or an 'ottoman' if you're feeling posh
(Phil) So what are we doing?
Today we are doing by far the most important thing about being in Australia which is going to a wildlife park
and cuddling some marsupials
(Phil) Yes!
What was that?
(Phil) That was a bit angry
That was a bit of an evil fist
(Phil) Oh, let's just... retract the fist
Hopefully the animals will be fluffy and nice and not poison us
"Cuddle a snake, Phil"
"Cuddle a Redback [spider]"
(Phil) Are you worried that if I open this, a giant spider will come out?
That is the exact kind of place that a spider is probably--
(Phil interrupts with dramatic noises of spider-anticipation)
Thanks
Lived this time
(Phil) There's one on your ear
(Phil) There's one IN your ear!
(Phil) Okay, I'll stop
(Phil laughs)
(Phil) So I was told it was gonna be cold today and everyone is wearing factor-50 suncream
(Dan) I think you need factor-100, Phil, let's not lie
(Phil) Yeah, I'm going to set on fire
(Phil) The Deep Outback
(Phil) Cleland Wildlife Park
(Phil) I'm gonna go meet this guy G'day
(Phil) Here we go
(Phil) It's the koala!
Oh my God, it's the first real one
(Phil) Meet it!
It's a real koala, Phil
(Phil) Stroke it
Do you know that it's so old it turned to stone
(Phil) Yeah, it's the oldest koala in Australia
Actually calcified
(Phil) Hey buddy
(yelps as though calcified koala has bitten his hand)
So we are on our way to hold a koala!
"Koala Experience" is what it's called
Yeah
Wow
It's only a 2-year old koala apparently, so
Aww, that's good
I don't think it will have chlamydia
I hear they get thick af, and we couldn't lift a, like 25 kilogram koala or something like that
Like a 15 kilo koala-- that's like my suitcase
I literally couldn't do that
(Phil) We've just seen our first koala
Look at him!
(Dan) Apparently they get a bit high off the eucalyptus leaves, so that guy has no idea what time it is right now
(Phil) I don't think he wants us to speak to him
(Dan)That's like me when you came into my room this morning: "Dude, it's midday.."
(Phil) "Can you not, I'm trying to sleep"
(Dan) "I need three hours"
(Phil) That's the koala we're gonna be holding!
That one's particularly bushy-eared
This is the last video I will have filmed before I've held a koala
This is a big moment in your life, Phil, are you ready?
Do you think I'll have a different glow about me afterwards?
The glow of chlamydia
(ominous sound effect)
(Dan) He's like, "What is happening? Who are these people? Why have I woken up today?"
So the fact that he's eating shows that he's comfortable
(Dan in background) Same
(laughter)
We feed them the real young leaves out here which is like koala chocolate
so he's getting a real treat to come out here for us today
Who's going first?
(Phil) Dan is about to have his koala experience
I look quite swaggy in this jacket actually
(Phil) You do!
It's claw-proof, but also very on point in 2016
(Phil) Take it home
He's gonna love you because you're nice and tall
Is that a thing? I'm like a giant branch
(laughter in background)
So once again, hands to your side
Dewey will climb to your left shoulder, and then pop one hand under the bottom, the other hand gently across the lower back
Okay
Stay nice and still while he climbs across
He's the fluffiest thing I've ever seen
(laughter)
Hello
(Phil) Dan, you're actually holding a koala right now
It's so fluffy
It smells amazing
Seriously, I need to chew some eucalyptus on a day-to-day basis
(Phil) Yeah
Hello
(Phil) Aww!
It's so fluffy
(Phil) It's so fluffy!
What's it's name?
Dewey
Dewey. And how old is he?
He's 2 years old
Aww, he's so tiny and cute
(Tour Guide) So, he was a hand-raised orphan
(Dan as Dewey) Give me the food!
(Phil laughs)
(Tour Guide) His mum was hit by a car out in the wild
So he was hand-raised by one of our keepers here
And we're hoping to get two more boys in so we can have "Huey, Dewey, and Louie"
(Phil) Amazing!
Oh my gosh, that is a plan
(Dan) How ready do feel for this moment, Phil?
I've been waiting for this moment my whole life
I'm so excited!
(Dan) Phil, it's behind you
(laughs) It is behind me
What shall I do? Hands to my side?
Just hands to your side, yeah
Okay. I don't want to do it wrong
(Dan and others chuckle in background)
(Unknown woman) Is that the face of enjoyment?
Hand on his bottom, hand across his back
I'm just going to take his food back
It's like a cartoon character that came to life
(Dan) I know! He's so fluffy
(Dan) Do you brush him? Or is he just naturally this beautiful?
(Tour Guide) No
He's naturally this beautiful
Don't wee on me, Mr. Koala
(Dan) Is it true that they can give you chlamydia?
Not in this state and it's not spread between humans
Oh, okay
(Dan) Good
But they can spread it to each other
(Dan) Phil, if you dropped Dewey, would it be a "drop-bear"?
I think it would be a drop-bear
(Dan) I'm glad you didn't make one real
I was shaking so much I was scared I was gonna drop him, but I didn't
I can't believe we just held a koala!
And it was so much fluffier than I expected
It was the softest thing I've ever touched
Seriously
Imagine the softest teddy bear and times it by about 10
But then smells great
And it was that soft
(Phil) It's a potoroo!
(Tour Guide) They're a marsupial, they have a pouch
(Phil) It's the tiniest kind of kangaroo
(Phil) Look at its little nose!
(Dan) Hello
(Dan) How's your potoroo feeding experience, Phil?
(Phil) It's loving it!
(Phil) Oh, it's got such a tiny little mouth
(Dan laughing)
(Phil) Dan, it's a Tasmanian devil
I know
Less rotating than I expected
But cuter
(Phil) It looks like a cute little vampire
(Dan) Very wet nose
(Phil) It's going to eat my phone
(Phil) If Dan was a koala, it would be that one
(laughing) "Don't talk to me!"
(Phil) "Don't look at me!"
Is that comfortable?
(Phil) I don't know!
Look, how comfortable is that koala right now?
(Phil) I think it looks pretty cozy
(Phil) The joey just came out of the pouch for the first time
(Dan) Zoom in on the face
(Phil) Look at its little face! The first thing you've seen of the world is us I'm sorry
(everyone laughs)
(Phil) Sleepy wombats
(Dan) Under the heat lamp
(Phil) It's a shibe!
Oh my God! Phil.. that's a dingo
I mean, I'm quite excited to see the dingoes, but if there was a "Frolic with the Shibe" field
Then that'd be me all day
(Dan) Okay, that is not a ferocious pest
(Phil) That is just a dog
That is just a straight up shibe
I mean, we say that, but it would probably rip our necks out
100%
Jump in and find out, Phil
Okay
(Phil) Yeah, I think he's the doge-iest of them all
(Dan) much australia, very pest, such attack
So the biggest--
(laughter)
The biggest threats for dingoes is inbreeding with domestic and wild dogs in the Australian Outback
(Phil makes 'chewing dog' noises)
So we're about to see our first kangaroo
(Dan) There it is
(Phil) Look at it!
(Dan) Hold out some feed, Phil
(Phil) I feel like I don't want to compete with that lady
(Dan) No, that lady is clearly staking out her kangaroo ground
(Dan) She's been there for 3 days
(Dan laughing)
(Dan, singing) Dun dun dun dun dun dun- Kangaroos
Kangaroos!
(Dan) Here they are, sleeping under the tree
Are they going to kick me in the face, or do you think they're gonna be kind?
(Dan) Probably, Phil, I don't know Just look kind and hold out food
(Dan) Wassup brah? Show me your muscles
(Dan) Oh my God, that one's like, "Mmm, oh yeah, this is a good little patch of dirt that I've found myself in"
(Dan) Phil is approaching the kangas
He's going in for the feed
(Phil) I've got some tasty snacks!
(Dan) The question is: is the kangaroo hungry or not?
(Dan) Only time will tell
(Dan) He's giving Phil a tentative look He's hopping away in rejection
(Dan) But he looks, he sees the food, and he's curious
(Dan) Phil, just-- ooh, keep alive Phil
(Dan) And he's going in for the nibble, look at that
He loves food!
(Dan) He is having a strong little lick Well done, Phil
(Yay! sound effect)
How about you? Do you want a little stroke--
(Phil) Oh!
Okay, that's a strong "no"
(Phil) Oh, these want some food
(Dan) om nom nom nom nom
(Phil) How's it feel?
A lot less violating than eating a horse, I'm just going to put that out there
(Phil) Than eating a horse?
Than feeding a horse!
(Phil) I think this would be me as a kangaroo
(Phil) What is he doing with his tongue?
(Phil) Om nom nom nom nom
(Phil) Dan, get a selfie with the emu
This is not a good idea, why do you want me to do this?
(Phil laughing)
(Dan) Phil, that bird is too big
I'm so scared
(Dan) Fabulous plumage
(Dan) I like that instead of like, joyously nibbling out of your hand, it's individual pecks
That nice?
(Dan) It looks angry
It looks a bit angry
(Dan) It looks entitled
Uhh
(Dan) Phil, it's marked you
Oh no, I'm scared
(Dan) You are The One With The Food
(Phil) No!
(Dan) Phil, I hope you can run at 60 miles an hour
Here, take it!
(Dan, laughing) Just take the food
(Dan) Run, Phil! Run while you've still got a chance
(Dan) Dun dun dunnn!
(Phil) This one wants the food
(Phil) Now get your selfie, Dan
(Phil) Now's the time!
(Phil) He can do it!
Move the bag
(Phil) Move the bag
(both laughing)
(Phil) Hello, mister
(Phil) Aww, it's so cute
It's holding my hand
I'm gonna say it's a lot less sharp than the koala was earlier
(Phil) Yeah
Hello
(Phil) He looks so sleepy
They all look so sleepy
We're trying to herd the geese back into their enclosure
(Phil) Go on! Come on!
(Phil) Herd them, herd the geese, herd the geese
(Phil) Oh, we got one. This way. Oh!
Is this a goose? Because it's gonna break my legs if it is
(Phil) I think so
(Phil) Yeah, keep going, now, through the gate!
(goose honks)
(Phil) It doesn't wanna go in
Whatever then! Get kicked by a kangaroo! See if I care!
(Dan) Phil, hold up an imaginary Simba
(both hum Lion King theme very majestically)
(Phil) I think it thinks you're a kangaroo
(Phil) It's gonna want to mate with you
(Phil laughs)
I can't compete with that
(Dan) No, no, Phil. Crouch, crouch, yeah
(laughter in background)
(Dan) Crouch more
(Dan) There we go
(Dan) Yes, it's intrigued
(Dan) He's like, "What is your problem, bro?"
(Phil) Be my friend!
(Dan) Have a race!
(Dan laughs)
(Phil) Oh look! It's a joey! That dad is like, "Stop filming my child"
So that was our Australian animal experience, Phil
That was incredible!
We saw a koala, a kangaroo, a wallaby, (Phil) a dingo, a wombat, and some dingoes, which are just shibes
(Phil) Yeah
What did you think?
Everything was soft and friendly, nothing wanted to bite my eyes off which I thought was gonna happen
Stroke a marsupial at some point in your life, that's what I learned from this
They're so fluffy, you have no idea
What was your favourite animal?
Come on, you have to pick
Probably the koala
The koala, I'll say the same thing
I mean, I held the koala
Although that white kangaroo, it was just holding my hand with its claws
Australia, good animals
Although we're saying that, we were basically having a tour of the cute, fluffy ones
Yeah
If they were like, "Here's also all the spiders and snakes!"
The dragon spider!
So I think we're gonna head to the gift shop now, my favourite place
Oh, Phil, look! There's a spider on your head!
(Phil) Ba ba da ba-- geez put some clothes on, dude
(Dan) Whoa man, you're in public
(Phil) Also maybe put your head back on as well
(Phil) Here's some kangaroos in their natural habitat
(Phil) The ocean of slime
Should I pack this back with me?
(Phil) Yes, I think your entire suitcase should be that
That's a good use of storage
(Phil) Oh no. Help
(Phil) What have you found?
That's the one, look at that
(Phil) Oh, that is amazing
I need to haz that classic 3-wolf moon aesthetic, I feel like this one's got that
(Dan) And what have you chosen, Phil?
A grow-your-own emu egg
(Dan) Of course you have, cool
Now I can take an emu home with me
(Phil makes a bird noise)
(Phil) Mount Lofty Summit
So our kind driver just drove us to the Summit of Mount Lofty
Which is here!
(Dan) I'm just gonna go ahead and say that's the worst name for a mountain ever
Look at this behind me though!
"Mount Lofty Summit", really?
Mount Lofty Summit
It's like saying "Wow, Big High Hill"
(Phil) How many dangerous beasts do you think are in this forest?
(Dan) I think there's at least 5 drop-bears
(Phil) That's our hotel... right there
(Dan) Phil's back in the hotel for one minute and is now eating the wildlife he was just visiting
I'm protecting the koalas from snakes
(Dan) How could you, Phil?
Om nom nom nom
(Dan) How could you
om nom nom
(Dan humming)
(Phil) Dan, are you actually wearing our tour merch?
I was cold! Okay, let me take a moment to show you all the Dan and Phil Australian Tour merch
(Phil, laughing) Why are you wearing it?
I don't have-- I didn't pack any jumpers
(Phil) I know, we didn't realise it's winter
This was not good on the top of a mountain, okay? You see how see-through that is?
So yes, I've turned the heating on
(Dan singing in background)
(Phil) Dan's picture is a lot less scary than mine
(Phil) What even is that?
(Dan) Your mum
(Phil laughs sarcastically)
(Dan returns sarcastic noise)
Just watching some Olympics
What's going on?
Lady fell over
Aww
Dramz
Hope she's okay
Uh, we realised that we haven't seen our koala pictures yet
Oh my God! Our tourist photos
So here is a live reveal
Are you ready?
Okay, Dan go first
Aww
Oh, look at it!
Look at Dan!
(Dan) Look at that fluffy motherf--
I'm just gonna say, that woman is having a much calmer emu feeding experience than you had
She seems a lot less afraid
(Phil) She loves it, she's not even using the bag. She married that emu
(Phil) Plot twist
(Dan) And then what's yours, Phil?
(Phil) Aww! Look, it's got food in its mouth!
(Dan) Oh, that's so amazing, oh, I actually love it
(Phil) I'm gonna send that to my mum, I think she's gonna love it
(Dan) What, you're just gonna post it to her with no explanation?
(Phil) Yeah, like, "Surprise!"
(Dan) Do it
(Dan) You'll be in our memories forever
(Phil) Dewey!
(Dan) Do you want the phone back?
(Phil) Yeah
(Dan) Whoo!
(Phil) Ah! Don't do that!
(Phil) Thank you to Cleland Wildlife Park for a bonza time
(Phil) Not spon
(Dan) Not a spon
(Dan) That really made it sound like a spon
(Phil) It did, it wasn't a spon
(Dan) No one sponsored us to joke about koalas giving us chlamydia
(Phil) No
We just went there and had a nice time
(Phil) Yes
(Phil) But I'd like a spon I want to take one of the koalas home
(Dan) Phil, nooo
(Phil) Spon me!
(Phil) What are you doing?
I am watching the Olympics upside down
Because then I'm feeling more at home
(Phil) Aw, so you're closer to the UK
Yeah, that's the point
(Phil) Aww
Practicing my 'koala posture'
(grunts)
(Phil) Whoa, that's some pretty good koala posture
(Phil) Are you ever gonna get out of that position now?
(Dan) Help me
(Dan) Phil has, for some reason, drawn a pentagram really aggressively on my sheet of paper here
(Dan) So the housekeeper's going to think that I'm Satanic or something
(Phil) Sorry
(Phil) I'm in Dan's bathroom, and I think this is where he gets his personality from
(Phil) His "sassy & daring, wild" dry hair shampoo
(Phil) Eating dinner watching Avatar
(Dan) I'm surprised those beasts haven't attacked us yet here in Australia
(Phil) Om nom nom nom nom nom
(Phil) Wildlife Park Haul!
(Dan) Nicely arranged, Phil
(Phil) These are holographic postcards, but they don't work on a camera, which I just realised
(Dan) Really? What if I-- Oh my God, our conception of the universe is wrong!
(Phil) What?! And I got an emu one
(Dan) The lady in the gift shop said she'd never seen somebody pick 'emu' and 'dingo'
(Phil) No!
(Dan) It's all 'koala' and 'kangaroo'
(Phil) And Dan's T-shirt!
(Dan) Which I'm going to put on right now
(Phil) Dan, I want you to come out and do your best fashion show walk and I'll put some music underneath it
(Dan) Okay, yeah, sure
(Phil) You ready?
(Dan) Yeah
(Phil) Go!
(Phil laughs)
(Phil) America's Next Top Model, it's Dan
Australia's Next Top Model, Phil (Phil) Oh, yeah
I love that you had one job
(Phil) I had one job
(Phil) Adelaide, more like--
(Dan) "Rad-elaide"
(Phil) I was actually gonna say "Rain-delaide" because it's raining
(Dan) Ooh, that's more appropriate
(Dan) But mine's a really great pun
(Phil) Yeah
(Phil) Maybe one of you is in that car right now
Well then!
That was today's adventure in Adelaide, Australia
You called it "A Day in the Life", this is not what normal Australians do
No
It's not what we typically did
But I thought it was an exciting day
I'm never washing this T-shirt again
I'm never washing my hand ever again
So!
On that note
If you enjoyed this video, please give it a Thumbs Up
Click on our faces to subscribe to either of our channels
Do your prettiest face
Yup, that was it
And I will see you guys very soon
Bye
Goodbye! Or should I say--
(in Australian accent) G'bye mates
That was really bad
They don't say 'G'bye' like that
G'bye--
But we did it
We did it
(finger snap)