You pop out of the ocean
and hear the faint yells of the lifeguard.
The whole beach panics.
Your turn around.
Something lurks in the water.
Before you can say "Loch Ness monster,"
a tall shadow emerges,
lunging with its sharp teeth
headed your way.
If the Styxosaurus were around today,
Technically speaking, this marine reptile
wasn't a dinosaur,
although it sure swam the Earth
alongside many of them.
Styxosaurus lived 70 to 85 million years ago,
in the Late Cretaceous Period,
long before humans set foot on the planet.
And this monstrosity
measured 10 m (35 ft) in length.
Its prominent neck accounted for close to half that size.
At 5 m (16 ft),
that's almost three times longer than the neck of the average giraffe.
And this freak of nature was no lightweight either.
With more than 3,600 kg (8,000 lb) of reptilian goodness,
it was as heavy as a killer whale.
So how come this enormous reptile
wouldn't swallow you whole?
Scientists have found fossils of this ancient behemoth
in what is now Kansas and South Dakota.
So if Styxosaurus were alive today,
it would mainly inhabit the coasts of North America.
But it's unlikely you'd see this beast in its full size.
All you'd be able to spot is its head
and a good chunk of its long neck protruding from the water.
That's because Styxosaurus
would bury its large turtle-like body
in the murkiest and darkest waters,
making it appear
much smaller than it actually is.
This would reduce the chances of it being detected.
And it would make it seem less intimidating to the fish
and squid it will later munch on.
This feasting would be
pulled straight from a horror movie.
As Styxosaurus shut its mouth around its prey,
sharp teeth would
intermesh with each other
and fully trap the animal inside.
Like a cage from which there’s no escaping.
But the process wouldn’t quite end there.
Some of the Styxosaurus fossils
were found with over 200 small stones in their bellies.
These stones
could have served as a ballast,
helping this prehistoric creature sink
closer to the ocean floor.
But it's more likely that the rocks
aided with digestion.
Yeah, while the teeth of the Styxosaurus
evolved for seizing slippery prey,
they weren't particularly effective at cutting through flesh.
So this behemoth would swallow
its still-living prey whole.
And the stones in its belly
would take care of crushing bones
and rubbing off scales.
Now if it set eyes on you,
would you end up rock n’ rolling in its stomach?
Well, the head of an average Styxosaurus
would be around 50 cm (1.6 ft) long,
with a snout of about 30 cm (1 ft) in length.
That means if you happen to be an average-sized adult,
this sea reptile
wouldn’t want to try swallowing you whole.
You wouldn't fit in its mouth.
Now, if Styxosaurus could swallow you whole,
you'd experience a sudden,
inescapable darkness as you slide down a long neck
and land in a stone pit.
And that's where you’d be finally pummelled to death.
With rocks.
What a bizarre way to go.
It's a good thing this behemoth
wouldn't be big enough
to swallow you in one piece.
But this doesn't mean you'd go completely unharmed.
The Styxosaurus might be trying to take a bite out of you in self-defense.
Your best bet for surviving
would be to do what you would do during a shark attack.
“Shark!”
The worst thing you could do is
panic and splash around.
That would only pique the Styxosaurus' curiosity.
Instead, try to look as big
and intimidating as you possibly can.
Of course, that's easier said than done when facing a predator
45 times your size.
If you managed to gain the Styxosaurus’ respect
and it left you alone,
it could settle for the smaller portion options.
But sticking to fish and squid
would make it run into
some fierce competition.
Namely sharks and killer whales,
who also gorge on similar sea life.
But here's a twist.
With this potential swimming buffet around,
the oceanic predators of today
might add a new item to their menu.
And this would be, you guessed it,
a generous serving of Styxosaurus.
That’s because this giant reptile
was never really the apex predator its intimidating appearance might suggest.
Prehistoric sharks,
with a size similar to the modern great white,
were Styxosaurus' natural-born enemy
and very likely aided in its extinction.
And on top of being hunted by ancient sharks,
it seems like the Styxosaurus
also wasn’t immune to the temperature changes
in the ocean that were brought on by the changing climate.
Yikes.
Our long-necked friend
could not have chosen a worse time to stick around.
But here’s a twist.
It is actually how cold the oceans currently are that
might give the Styxosaurus trouble.
During the Cretaceous Period,
the planet’s oceans
had an average temperature of 37 °C (99 °F).
The Styxosaurus will have a real hard time withstanding
the cooler waters that can be found off
North American coasts today.
Unless it had adapted through evolution,
not even warmer tropical waters
would be able to provide it sufficient heat.
If the Styxosaurus was around today,
it might not pose the greatest of threats to us ocean-loving humans.
If anything,
the risk to this behemoth’s survival
would go beyond killer whales and sharks.
Yeah, you can bet our more avant-garde foodies
would also be dying to give Styxosaurus a taste.
Seeing as it’s a reptile,
odds are it would have the sweet
and juicy flavor of an iguana,
with the fish-like texture of its favorite marine life.
You know, putting aside
the risk of parasites, viruses and Salmonella
that comes from eating reptiles,
it actually sounds quite delicious.
Which leads me to wonder,
what if we raised dinosaurs for food?
I can’t be the only one who's craving a Dilophosaurus tartar.
That’s a story for another WHAT IF.