>>HILAH: What’s up y’all!
I am Hilah and welcome to Hilah Cooking.
So I am gonna be honest with you.
I have been day drinkin’ and now I am a little drunk, and I really need to snack,
and I want it to be spicy, and preferably fried, and I am definitely gonna need some
protein in there because I am drunk, and I am not really sure what it’s gonna be though.
Help me out.
[EXPLOSION]
>>FREAKZONE: FreaaaakZooooooonna!
>>HILAH: FreakZone!
What’s up?
>>FREAKZONE: What’s up Hilah?!
How you doin’?
>>HILAH: What’s up my buddy man?
>>FREAKZONE: What’s up Internet?!
>>HILAH: [laughs] All right!
Oh, look we’ve both got beards.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: Cheers.
All right, what’s you, you heard my plea?
>>FREAKZONE: I heard your plea.
I was listenin’ in dream land, and I thought Hilah needs some protein!
What’s gonna happen?!
>>HILAH: What you gonna make?
You gonna make me sumn’?
>>FREAKZONE: What do you think about some boneless buffalo wings ?
>>HILAH: I like it.
I like that idea a lot.
>>FREAKZONE: They’re spicy and they got not bones in ‘em.
>>HILAH: I don’t need no bones.
>>FREAKZONE: Oh nooo.
>>HILAH: I don’t need to mess with that .
>>FREAKZONE: All chewy no crunchin’ , bonin’.
>>HILAH: Definitely lots of bonin’ though, later.
>>FREAKZONE: Yes.
>>HILAH: Maybe.
>>FREAKZONE: If you do it right.
>>HILAH: [laughs] All right, let’s do ‘em then.
>>FREAKZONE: Clink dink.
>>HILAH: All right, we’re ready to rock and roll.
>>FREAKZONE: We’re ready!
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: To rock and roll.
>>HILAH: We’ve got some turmeric, and we’ve got our dry stuff here with cornmeal and some
flour.
>>FREAKZONE: So I was, I was makin’ a chicken titty.
>>HILAH: Ah, chicken titty joke.
So what else are we gonna put.
We have some, don’t you have some special thing to show me?
>>FREAKZONE: Well I have a secret ingredient.
>>HILAH: That’s what I’m lookin’ for.
>>FREAKZONE: But I don’t know if you, if you have it in your kitchen.
>>HILAH: What is it?
>>FREAKZONE: Seventies styles, 70, 1970-style Doritos.
>>HILAH: I don’t, nope I don’t have those.
>>FREAKZONE: You don’t?
>>HILAH: No!
>>FREAKZONE: Hmm, wonder where we’re gonna get some of those.
>>HILAH: I know.
We need ‘em.
>>FREAKZONE: Whooooododoooowooooooooooooobwwaaaa yeahhhhhhhh!
>>HILAH: Ohhhhhhhhhhh.
FreakZonnnnnnnn!
>>FREAKZONE: FreakZooneeeee!
>>HILAH: Are those taco flavored?
>>FREAKZONE: Taco flavored.
>>HILAH: All right!
>>FREAKZONE: Yep, you can tell because they got a picture of a . . .
>>HILAH: Sombrero.
>>FREAKZONE: Sombrero I guess.
>>HILAH: It’s kind of also shaped like a taco.
>>FREAKZONE: Ha ha, some taco.
>>HILAH: Let’s put some of these bad boys in here.
>>FREAKZONE: Let’s do it!
>>HILAH: We’re just gonna crumble ‘em.
>>FREAKZONE: That’s the secret.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: That’s the secret.
You want to take them whole Doritos.
>>HILAH: Umm hmmm
>>FREAKZONE: And make them into thousands of little Doritos!
>>HILAH: Umm hmmm.
Like grains of sand on the beach.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm If you was an ant, these would be giant burritos.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: Doritos!
>>HILAH: [laughs] Either way you wanna say it.
>>FREAKZONE: Either way be these, okay, it’s all right.
>>HILAH: [laughs] You got some cracklin’s happenin’ here.
>>FREAKZONE: Any broke up, broke up.
>>HILAH: Broke up good.
Broke up like when you broke up with all them girls you broke up with.
>>FREAKZONE: No ho ho, they so sad!
>>HILAH: So sad.
>>FREAKZONE: So sad women.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: Who gonna have my children?
>>HILAH: [laughs] So what do we do?
Dry, egg, back in here.
>>FREAKZONE: Chicken!
>>HILAH: All right.
>>FREAKZONE: The eggs, repeat.
>>HILAH: [laughs] Endin’ on dry.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm.
Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: Okay, I am just gonna, do it like so.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: Because I know my hands are cleaner than yours.
No offense.
>>FREAKZONE: Oh, yeah.
No offense .
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: Yeah, no that’s agreed.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: My hands been in some weird places.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: I don’t know if they’re dirty, but they’re weird!
>>HILAH: [laughs] And that’s just today.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: See that’s lookin’ good.
>>HILAH: That’s gonna be fried up good.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: Umm hmmm I am gonna like that.
>>FREAKZONE: You can do a single dip.
You can do a double dip if you want a thicker breading.
>>HILAH: Oooh, oooh, double dippin’
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: Oh, shit!
I did it in the wrong one first.
>>FREAKZONE: That’s all right.
>>HILAH: All right!
>>FREAKZONE: That’s all right.
>>HILAH: Go easy on me FreakZone.
>>FREAKZONE: You ain’t messin’ it up.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: You doin’ good.
>>HILAH: [laughs] You so positive.
>>FREAKZONE: That’s the beauty of fried chicken.
>>HILAH: That’s why the ladies love ya.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: You don’t give ‘em no shit.
>>FREAKZONE: I don’t give a lady no shit, shit, lady don’t deserve no shit.
>>HILAH: Nooo!
>>FREAKZONE: Man deserves shit, right?
He deserves presents.
>>HILAH: [laughs] You payin’ attention .
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: Man.
>>FREAKZONE: Even if she the worst woman in the world, he still deserve more than the
next best man.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: That’s how God made women.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: Also applies to fried chicken.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: Also applies to cornbread, but that is a different episode.
>>HILAH: Yes, indeed.
>>FREAKZONE: Uh huh.
These look good though.
>>HILAH: Umm hmmm These are gone be good.
>>FREAKZONE: Uh huh.
>>HILAH: I am excited about this business happenin’ here.
>>FREAKZONE: Dang!
>>HILAH: All right.
I am gone rinse up, and then we gone fry some chicken!
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm No need to be fussy.
It’s better to be messy!
>>HILAH: All right, let’s fry these little babies.
>>FREAKZONE: Let’s fry ‘em.
Fry ‘em up.
>>HILAH: Fry ‘em up!
>>FREAKZONE: Fry ‘em up!
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: You just let that shit lay in there all day.
>>HILAH: Safe fryin’, safe sex, FreakZone dunn’t know!
[laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: [laughs] FreakZone don’t know, boom.
>>HILAH: Boom.
All right.
There you go.
Oh wait, it’s like this.
Ooooohhhhhh.
>>FREAKZONE: Oooooooohhhhhhhoooooo!
Who’s in the FreakZone!
I am in the FreakZone!
Hilah’s in the FreakZone!
Chicken in the FreakZone!
>>HILAH: [laughs] I started turnin’ it.
Is that the right thing to do?
>>FREAKZONE: Awww, that’s good!
>>HILAH: It seems like it’s gettin’ nice and toasty and smellin’ like fried burritos.
>>FREAKZONE: Are they done?
>>HILAH: Double fried Doritos.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: Refried Doritos.
>>FREAKZONE: Well, I don’t know if they fry ‘em in the first place.
>>HILAH: I am pretty sure they do.
>>FREAKZONE: Oh, listen to that though!
>>HILAH: That’s golden.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: What’s that sound?!
>>FREAKZONE: Fryin’.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: Oh, there’s buffalo wiiiiiings for the Internet!
>>HILAH: All right, I am just gonna let ‘em fry.
>>FREAKZONE: Let ‘em fry.
>>HILAH: How do I know when they’re done?
>>FREAKZONE: Ummmm, a good question, but mostly you are looking for ‘em to float on top
of the oil.
>>HILAH: All right, we’ll keep lookin’.
Lift up little chicken.
>>FREAKZONE: Lift up, they lift up.
>>HILAH: Yeah.
Put a bra on.
Put a bra on chicken.
>>FREAKZONE: What will happen is that the water in the chicken will be replace by the
oil.
>>HILAH: Mmmmmm.
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm It’s crazy, it’s crazy, and then all that flavor gets sucked
into the chicken.
>>HILAH: Sucked in to the chicken.
>>FREAKZONE: That’s fuckin’ food science.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: On the FreakZoooone!
You didn't think I knew it, but I know it.
>>HILAH: Awww, that looks yummy as hell!
>>FREAKZONE: Oh, she had it done [laughs].
>>HILAH: Oh, dude!
Dog!
>>FREAKZONE: Dude!
Dog!
>>HILAH: Dude!
Dog!
All right.
>>FREAKZONE: Dude.
Dog.
>>HILAH: Dude.
Dog.
Okay, I am gonna get these puppies out of here.
>>FREAKZONE: This chicken is gonna make me wanna go country and western.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: You be like, dude, dog.
>>HILAH: Dude dog.
>>FREAKZONE: That’s weird.
>>HILAH: I got sumn’ to tell ya.
>>FREAKZONE: That’s weird.
I got sumn’ tell you.
Come by behind my truck.
We’ll listen to Toby Keith and have some chicken wings.
>>HILAH: [laughs] Some boneless.
>>FREAKZONE: Good for you.
[laughs] FreakZooooone!
You thought I was gonna be country western for the rest
of the show.
>>HILAH: [laughs] So these are cool for just a second.
We got our franks with some melted butter and a bowl.
>>FREAKZONE: Buffalo sauuuucee.
>>HILAH: And you’re gonna show us how to toss these babies.
>>FREAKZONE: Okay.
Step one in tossing.
Put that shit in a bowl.
>>HILAH: [laughs] You want to do a couple of more?
>>FREAKZONE: Give me more.
>>HILAH: All right.
>>FREAKZONE: Give me more.
You can get a few of em.
>>HILAH: Umm hmmm
>>FREAKZONE: Mix ‘em up.
Now watch this Hilah.
You ready?
>>HILAH: Umm hmmm
>>FREAKZONE: Are you ready?
>>HILAH: I am ready, I am ready I am watchin’.
>>FREAKZONE: What you want to do is draw a little circle in the sky.
>>HILAH: That’s magical and beautiful.
Man.
>>FREAKZONE: If you’re good at it, nothin’ will splash out.
If you bad at it, a lot splashes out.
>>HILAH: [laughs] You seem like you did pretty good.
All right.
>>FREAKZONE: There you go, but you don’t want excessive sauce.
>>HILAH: No, no, so we kind of, kind of.
>>FREAKZONE: Had to get ‘em out.
>>HILAH: And we put ‘em on our little cute plate.
>>FREAKZONE: Ho hooooo!
>>HILAH: I made you some uh, I made you some blue cheese sauce baby.
>>FREAKZONE: Blue, blue, blue cheese, a little bit of celery.
>>HILAH: Umm hmmm
>>FREAKZONE: Umm hmmm
>>HILAH: There it is!
>>FREAKZONE: Aww, that is good!
>>HILAH: Do we, are you just gonna eat em with a little.
. .
>>FREAKZONE: Oh, I don’t know.
>>HILAH: With our little paws?
>>FREAKZONE: You probably need like some kind of napkin.
>>HILAH: Nah, I got pants.
Mmmmmm.
Dude.
>>FREAKZONE: Mmmmmmm.
>>HILAH: Ah, dude.
>>FREAKZONE: Dang that’s so good I broke character.
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: FreakZoooooone!
>>HILAH: FreakZooooon!
Mmmmmmm.
Okay before I do this.
Thank you for comin’ on the show.
>>FREAKZONE: Ah, thank you for havin’ me.
>>HILAH: I am savin’ my drunk booty with some boneless buffalo wiiiiings.
>>FREAKZONE: Wooo hoo.
Boneless buffalo wings!
Save your drunk booty in a harmony FreakZooooone!
>>HILAH: FreakZooooone!
>>FREAKZONE: FreakZooooooone!
>>HILAH: FreakZooooooone!
[MUSIC]
>>FREAKZONE: Who hates FreakZone?
I want to know.
>>HILAH: Fuckin’ nerds.
>>FREAKZONE: I want to get the bad.
I want to get bad comments.
>>HILAH: Oh, I’ll send them to you.
>>FREAKZONE: [laughs] Fap!
>>HILAH: Fap.
>>FREAKZONE: Fap!
What is Fap?
>>HILAH: What does Fap mean?
>>FREAKZONE: Why do people keep commentin’ on Fap?
>>HILAH: Why do people keep sayin’ that I make ‘em wanna Fap?
That’s weird.
>>FREAKZONE: What are y’all doin’?
>>HILAH: We didn't have that word back in the 70’s.
>>FREAKZONE: I know.
Does that mean y’all cookin’ along with Hilah?
Why is everybody cookin’ along with Hilah?
>>HILAH: [laughs]
>>FREAKZONE: Ohhhhh.