Disclaimer (pause to read):
Don't Do Shadow Work if You Don't Plan on Actually Making Changes
By this point, you have already heard of shadow work.
To sum shadow work up in a neat little package,
shadow work is the practice
of making the unconscious aspects of you, conscious.
This integration of the unconscious within you
ultimately leads to total awakening.
Shadow work is absolutely essential.
If you want to be an integrated person,
if you want to actualize your personal power,
if you wanna walk the earth without fear,
if you wanna step into a place of free will instead of determinism,
if you want to become awakened,
if you want to know yourself,
if you wanna create the life you want in reality,
if you want to end your suffering and/or suffering in the world
and the list goes on and on.
To understand more about this, you can watch two of my videos;
The first is:
What is Shadow Work
The second is:
What Are The Benefits of Shadow Work
Ultimately, shadow work is my specialty
and that's why what I'm about to say
is something that you need to take very seriously;
Here it is:
Don't do shadow work
if you're not willing to actually make a change.
The only reason that a person does anything
is because they think the doing of it
is going to make them feel better.
It's gonna lead to some kind of an improvement.
So, the real reason why people do shadow work
is because they think it's gonna make them feel better emotionally,
they think it's gonna lead to better results,
they think it's gonna lead to more understanding,
maybe more clarity,
an improved state of being,
whatever it is that they're wanting...
But, shadow work has this amazing way
of making us aware of these changes we need to make
for the sake of our own personal expansion.
And if you are not willing to or choose not to
take action to make that change,
shadow work will make the situation that you're in
the way you feel,
a whole lot worse,
not better.
A lot of people don't really understand this link or connection
between things that are non-physical
and things that are physical.
When a change takes place,
that change takes place and needs to take place
on all levels of the being.
This means that any change that takes place
on the mental level,
needs to take place on the emotional level
and needs to take place on the physical level
in order for a person to stay in a state of alignment.
I'll give you an example:
Let's say that you change the way
that you're thinking about physical health.
Let's say that you have this awareness
based off of doing shadow work,
that you need to be way more disciplined
with your health regimen,
because if you're not, you're gonna keep getting sick,
sicker and sicker and sicker.
Now, just having that awareness
based off of doing that shadow work,
that doesn't automatically bring you into alignment,
what happened right then is that
where your awareness was on the mental level,
you're not there on the physical level,
so there's an internal malalignment or misalignment.
In order to bring yourself into alignment,
you have to actually take the action step after that of,
"Okay, now I'm going to be more disciplined in actuality
meaning I'm gonna exercise,
or I'm gonna take the action to eat differently,
or I'm going to get myself massages,
whatever it is that pulls your physical aspect of self
into alignment with that mental realization.
To understand more about this,
you would benefit by watching my video titled:
Taking Action is A Crucial Part of Manifestation
If you don't do this,
you've actually magnified your misalignment.
You'll be in much more pain about your physical health,
feel worse about your lack of discipline relative to health
and actually invite worse symptoms
of your ill health to manifest.
To understand this concept
of shadow work making things worse
when you're not willing to make a change,
I'm gonna give you two concrete examples;
The first example we're gonna look at is Ben.
Ben has decided to attend a retreat
for the very first time in his life.
Let's be honest, he's kind of a country boy.
He's not the kind of guy that goes to retreats.
The reason Ben goes to a retreat
is because he wants to get his life strait.
Ben has been really unhappy.
Now, let's say that when he goes to this retreat,
he's doing a lot of self-discovery
and what he realizes or has to admit to himself
based off of making the unconscious conscious,
is that the real source of his suffering
is his marriage.
Ben married his high school girlfriend
and married her quickly,
because they accidentally got pregnant.
He was doing the right thing, or so he thought.
The problem is,
he and his wife
are super different people.
They want completely different things
and now, it's become a serious source of pain in their relationship.
His wife wants a life in the city.
To be honest, she's a complete social butterfly,
who's also a social climber,
who thrives on attention and status.
She makes it obvious every day
that she's ashamed of the life they're living.
She wants Ben to be more ambitious
and to have a high paying job in the city.
She keeps bringing up the idea of hiring a nanny
for their daughter, as well.
If ben is honest, the reason for their constant conflict
is that he wants her to stop pulling in the direction of that other life
and be happy with the one they have,
after all, this is the life that Ben wants.
All he's missing is a happy wife.
Ben loves their life on his family's farm,
he hates the city,
he wants his wife to be happy being a homemaker
like his own mother was.
He doesn't care about the status
and he's rather shy
and would rather die than have a job in an office
somewhere in the city,
after all, he loves to work with his hands
and eat the food he grows himself.
Ben becomes aware that even though
he was trying to do the right thing by marrying her,
he was young and naïve, he thought love was all you need.
he and his wife are not ever going to make each other happy
by staying together as partners.
But, when ben gets home
he suddenly becomes aware
of all of the scary and painful things that could potentially happen
as a result of making a change to his marriage,
so he does nothing.
It's almost like that time of the retreat
was just some other life that he lived for a week.
So, when he gets back home he falls back into
life as it always is,
the daily grind...
Only, instead of the retreat making things better,
that retreat made things way worse.
By failing to make a change to his own marriage
that is in alignment with the realization that he had,
he is now resisting his own expansion
and his own alignment.
So, things get a lot worse for Ben.
He feels like something went terribly wrong
because the retreat he attended was supposed to make him feel better.
Now everything's worse.
Every time his wife enters the room he feels irritated,
he's lost all sexual interest in her.
Their fights are becoming even more explosive than before
and out of the blue he even suddenly develops back problems.
Another example:
Olivia has joined a local women's circle.
She's been pouring her energy
and one day a week
to figuring out what aspects of life
are not conducive to her femininity.
She's already identified that she wants to step more into the feminine
she wants to be able to express her feminine energies
and to be totally honest with you,
what's not conducive to her femininity
is every aspect of her life.
It's the fact that she's a single mother
with no genuine masculine containment or protection,
it's the fact that she is solely financially responsible
for her entire family.
It's the fact that she's an executive
that's leading a very successful company.
It's the fact that it doesn't matter
whether she's on her monthly cycle
and needs the space to be quiet and introspective and gentle,
the reality is she has meetings and presentations to do
and a bunch of other men vying for her position
to compete with on every project
no matter the time of month.
It's the fact that she lives in America
where there's no infrastructure of support
and where there are no gender roles anymore
and where women are expected to do and be everything.
It is that she has no women in her life
that she genuinely trusts,
and the list goes on and on.
But Olivia as she becomes aware
of all of these things in her life that need to change
in order for her to be more in alignment with her femininity,
she's unwilling to do so.
I should say, part of her is unwilling to do so,
and part of her feels like
it's impossible to do those things even if she wanted to.
For example,
she feels like she can't just quit her job,
I mean, after all,
she's the sole financial support for everybody.
What will happen to her daughter if she does?
On top of that,
her job is really the source of her self-esteem.
It's the only thing she feels like she's got going for herself.
She also believes that there's no man on earth
who would just want her to drop her career
so he could completely support her
and a child that's not even his.
And even if she did find that guy,
her past experience has taught her not to trust men
because the second that you're powerless
to them providing for you,
now, all of a sudden,
he can control every aspect of your life.
He can make your life a living hell.
Also, she's got another problem:
she actually does have a boyfriend,
the problem is
the gender roles are flipped.
She's the one totally financially supporting him
and he's a really passive guy,
but, he's so kind.
And her daughter is totally attached to him.
She can't face the idea of breaking up with this guy.
She can't go through the process of doing that all over again
losing the shred of support she already has
and disappointing her daughter
because she got attached to a guy who's going to leave again.
So, Olivia doesn't make a change.
She hopes that just the little bit of feminine time
she gets in her women's circle will help
but that doesn't happen.
Instead, Olivia becomes more and more unhappy
and trapped and powerless in her life.
So unhappy that she starts drinking alcohol again.
She grows a bitter hatred for men,
despite the fact that she feels the need for one so badly,
and she grows a bitter hatred for the stay-at-home moms
that drop their kids off at school
at the same time as she drops off her daughter.
She hates the way her body feels
overly capable and metallic and armored,
rather than receptive and soft,
she feels more unsafe and more unsupported than ever,
she starts to obsessively watch period piece films
and fantasize about having been born in a different century
back when men took responsibility for women
and Olivia's periods keep getting worse and worse.
She does not have the luxury of taking days off
when she is on her period,
so she starts discussing the potential for hysterectomy
with her doctor.
And all this, pushes her into a nervous breakdown.
There are a great many reasons
why a person doesn't make a change
even when it becomes completely obvious that they need to.
To understand more about this, watch my video titled:
The Real Reason Why People Don't Change
But, shadow work
is an absolute catalyst for change.
It turns the heat way the hell up on your own expansion
and it increases the gap
between where you are right now
and what you are wanting.
Your decisions and your actions
must line up with
whatever it is that shadow work makes you aware of,
or else you will be more out of alignment
than you were before.
It's easy to see
that if you become aware that you're in an abusive relationship,
if you stay in that relationship,
it will be even worse
to be in that relationship than it was before.
Or, if you become aware that living in your parents house
is keeping you stuck, but you don't move out,
things will get even worse for you there.
Or, if you become aware that one of your top values
is personal achievement,
but you continue to prioritize
supporting and helping the other people in your life,
you will feel even more unfulfilled.
Or, if you become aware that you are lonely
and really decide you need friends
but stay in your apartment every day,
you will feel even more separate and emotionally starved
than you did before.
Or, if you become aware of how much suffering
goes into the process of the production of meat
but you continue to eat meat,
you will feel guilt shame and internal discord
every time you do.
If you become aware of how damaging
an aspect of human society is,
it will be even more painful to witness it.
If shadow work is making your life even worse,
that means there is a disconnect
between the awareness you are gaining
and the actions and decisions
you are either making and taking,
or not making and taking.
It means you are resisting making a necessary change
that the shadow work is trying to make you aware
that you need to take.
In case you haven't noticed already,
the universe has absolutely no problems
turning the heat way the hell up on your expansion.
What this means,
is that the universe at large
doesn't really care whether you want to make a change
when you're doing shadow work,
because it's fine with you doing shadow work
to the degree that your life becomes so unbearable
that you're either forced to make a change, or you die.
That's not a problem for the universe at large.
However, I'm gonna give you a choice today
because I feel like that choice
is important to make with your free will.
Shadow work is a fast track to change,
it is a catalyst.
You need to know this going into it.
If you do shadow work,
it is going to point to a necessary
and sometimes very difficult change you need to make.
If you don't want to
or are not willing to make a change,
either do shadow work
on why you're unwilling to make a specific change,
or don't do shadow work.
Because doing shadow work
when you are unwilling to make a specific change,
will make things in your life a whole lot worse
not better.
Have a good week.
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I wanna thank you personally
for the bravery that you have to step into awareness.
I'll see you in the next video.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com