- Freestyle rap is rap made up on the spot
based entirely on suggestions.
It's not written it's not prepared it's not rehearsed,
it is improvised and therefore you-
- [Person In Audience] Queefs
- Oh what? Oh Queefs,
because, because Will was saying it so that's,
okay well that's a good topic.
Uh I take five usually and I'm going to say that
the rest of them can't be too obvious.
You can't say things that have come up in the show.
You can't say food or animals because they're too common.
Let's get the middle of the room,
what would you like a rap about?
- [Audience] Spanish Flu
- [Audience] Baby Archie
- Oh that was several, that was good, what did you say?
- [Audience] Spanish flu
- [Audience] Baby Archie
- Okay one second, you're not the person I'm pointing at.
Are you?
(audience laughs)
- You said "The Spanish Flu"
- [Person In Audience] Yes.
- No UK, cool.
And then you said?
- [Person In Audience] Baby Archie
- Baby Archie, that's Meghan and Harry's baby, right? Yeah.
He's not really a baby anymore he's a bit,
- [Person In Audience] He's like one and a half
- yeah I guess he's small.
Um. Okay so queefs, The Spanish Flu, baby Archie-
- [Person In Audience] Baby Archie on the farm.
- [Person In Audience] Baby Shark
- Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Sorry, sorry, did you say Baby Shark?
(audience laughs)
- [Person In Audience] You can go with bars
- Yeah but it's not like 26 deep.
You can come up with really good stuff,
it doesn't have to be soft served bullshit.
You don't have to be like,
I'll say football because you could probably rhyme that.
- [Person In Audience] Kony 2012
- Kony 2012!
(audience laughs)
(audience cheers)
That's a blast from the past, I love it.
Kony 2012, baby Archie, queefs, and The Spanish Flu-
- [Person In Audience] Ray Rice
- And, what was that?
- [Person In Audience] Ray Rice
- Gay rights?
What are you saying?
(audience cheers)
- [Person In Audience] Ray Rice, a football player.
- Oh so what, what was his name?
Cos, there is definitely not a football player called
gay rights.
(audience laughs)
- [Person In Audience] There was an elevator video,
Ray Rice.
- Ray Rice
- [Person In Audience] Oh Ray Rice
- [Person In Audience] Oh I met him he's amazing.
- [Audience] No!
- So wait what happened?
Now I'm going to let you explain it to me.
- [Person In Audience] He punched his girlfriend in the face
- You met Ray Rice?
- [Person In Audience] I met Ray Rice and-
- But are we about to find out from someone else saying
something about girlfriend and elevator?
So, he beat up his girlfriend-
- [Person In Audience] He socked her!
and he was a nice guy?
(audience disgruntled)
- [Person In Audience] They're still together to this day.
- They're still together to this day?
(audience chatter)
- Okay, well that's going to be an interesting
part of the rap, great.
I'm glad we pushed past, Baby Shark to end up with
Ray Rice. A man who, beat up his girlfriend in a in a lift.
- [Person In Audience] Yes, on tape
- Yes, on tape?
- [Person In Audience] Yes, yeah
- Okay, cool.
- [Person In Audience] Elevator
- In an elevator yeah, same thing cool.
- [Person In Audience] Oh my God.
This is a freestyle like I said,
made up on the spot, based on all that stuff.
- We may drop that beat now, good sir
and let's have a little bit of fun.
And, a little bit more volume on the beat for me.
When those base and drums kick it's
it's going to be nice, cool.
(freestyling)
♪ I said Jury passed through Corona pandemic what we into ♪
♪ Hundred years ago back Spanish Flu influenza ♪
♪ Don't mean to offend you if you had some family ♪
♪ Died maybe get the family tree look inside. ♪
♪ My old great Aunt Maybel wasn't able to survive she died ♪
♪ Perished at the dinner table ♪
(audience cheers)
♪Influenza coming from overseas the Spaniards they were like ♪
♪ Si si si ♪
♪ Were trying to infect ya hearts like ouchie ♪
♪ In the Spanish Flu did we even have a Fauci, equivalent ♪
♪ I don't know it's abusing if I had the news I would ♪
♪ Rifle through and sue things out like a soothsayer ♪
♪ Like I find the truth, 2012 ten years ago ♪
♪ You we're shelling out maybe had a T- shirt ♪
♪ Ya know me, a war lord in Africa the name Kony ♪
(audience cheers)
♪ Not war lord that's a hard job, I can give some little ♪
♪ Facts that I told ya if I was Kony have ♪
♪ An army of soldiers ♪
♪ All under eight, they walk with their riffles ♪
♪ If you try and fuck with me, if you try and trifle ♪
♪ Better run fool pop you from afar war lord Africa ♪
♪ Big cigar. He would sit down on his throne ♪
♪ What's he doing now? Not in sight no, Guantanamo ♪
♪ How? Well he just kinda went off our map ♪
♪ and now he's broke back for the freestyle rap ♪
♪ He's like the new trend, maybe we get him on Twitter ♪
♪ And if he want's a new army there's more little ♪
♪ Well, yeah, you know the guy that he's getting ♪
♪ He just sends a DM to Harry and Meghan and says ♪
♪ Hey y'all you know me back in the day a decade ♪
♪ Ago, Kony, I want a new guy for my army ♪
♪ Have you got a small ginger kid ♪
♪ They're like Archie ♪
(audience cheers)
♪Come on, right along, bribe him with candy ♪
♪ Got a hitch up there you can bring fools ♪
♪ And baby Archie, he's kind of mean ♪
♪ Why, cos he would go and assassinate the Queen now ♪
♪ Yo Lizzy you really got to face this you we're really mean ♪
♪ To my momma, you a racist and then I tell you this ♪
♪ I'll go so far you killed Princess Diana that's my Grandma ♪
♪ You crashed her in the car got over the limit ♪
♪ It's never so horrible left some gas in it ♪
♪ I don't mean the airbag that's inside there of the car ♪
♪ In '97 I mean in the vagina, lil air pocket ♪
♪ They're like please stop it, I'm over there like ♪
♪ A jackhammer on top it. Pumpin' all the air in and out ♪
♪ I'm like I never heard a vagina scream and shout ♪
♪ It comes out over there, I'm like no please ♪
♪ Wanna walk away, maybe it shoot the breeze from your ♪
♪ Under carriage, it won't end the marriage ♪
♪ The only thing that would if I gave her face a barrage ♪
♪ Of my fist, I was like oh yeah so hard to resist ♪
♪ Come meet Ray Rice and your lady in the lift ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ Gong to the 10th floor, three levels more ♪
♪ Ray was like yeah I'm going to clock jaws ♪
♪ Knocked ya down and they're still together ♪
♪ That's kinda weird yo Ray Rice it's not clever ♪
♪ To do it on the tape but it's hard to resist ♪
♪ Was the fight in an elevator? No, it's in a lift ♪
(audience cheers and claps)