There are days we're gonna doubt ourselves, there are days we're gonna get
knocked on our ass, there are days that storms are gonna rise and we have to
have people who say I got your back, you need to do this, we need you, the world
needs this keep going. One is too small of a number to achieve greatness and
the moment that you understand, that the people that you have around you they're
you know they're either your number one asset or to be honest where they could
be your number one liability but the moment that you understand that and
begin to value people I think that is what creates the connection because the
moment, that I think we all know don't you Tom think don't you think you know
when a person values you and and when a person doesn't tell you and and so I
think that giving value to people and expressing that to them is the common
ground that builds relationships and so instead of keep asking myself how
long will it take how long will it take how long will it take
one day I began to realize how I was growing as a leader and the change it
was happening within me and I stopped asking the question how long will it
take and I started asking a question how far can I go
and everything changed that day I realized that you could set goals and
have five-year goals whatever but but I changed from a goal mindset to a growth
mindset and the fact that if I would be intentional in the areas of growth that
would have to return and and would fit who I was that I could really be
successful and help a lot of people and and that was a kind of a shift for me
and so when I wrote my first leadership book, i thought I would write one
leadership book could I be done you know I didn't think a hundred books later I I
met a lady who said, you've written more books than I've ever read in my
life you know what I mean but I didn't have any intention to write a lot of
books I but growth allows you to continue to expand yourself and your
world until there's just you know so much more that you know and so much more
that you want to share so you know my journey has been really one of
understanding that that if I everyday intentionally grow, the question is just
how far can I go I'm still growing I'm still I'm still
moving towards that finish line
How do i influence people and if I do influence people how do I increase
that influence and my answer is very simple we increase the influence with
people when we intentionally add value to them on a consistent basis because if
you think about Tom think about people in your life that have a high influence
on your life they've really added a lot of value to you and so what I share I do
a little simple form and it kind of works and that is every day again I'm
the you know consistency compound so you put consistency with intentionality and
you've got a powerful combination so every day every day I basically do five
things every day first of all I value people it begins there because if I
don't truly value people I won't add back to you don't add value to people
that you don't value don't add value to anything value so every day I value
people that's where it starts but then every day I think of ways that value to
constantly adding value to people they're going to be of great value to be
so ok I value people think of ways to add value to people then I look for ways
to add value people when I'm in the setting I'm looking for ok what can I do
what can I say and but what we see is what
look for and so if I'm looking for ways to add value, guess what, I'll see ways that
somebody else might be besides you not add value at all to you but I
look for ways and then number four I do things
and then number 5 I encourage others to add value to people, and I just lived that
simple formula I do that every day of my life it's very simple
I try to help other people do that understanding if they do that wherever
they are leadership culture not a leadership culture doesn't really matter
they'll begin to influence and we get to be people to begin to make a difference
in people's lives and I think that's essential but I think
you have to be intentional I think you have to be consistent, consistency is
complex. I'm 72.
Become a student leadership study it read about it watch things about it
practice that every day you know like be apparent, you know like join the movement
means I'm gonna take care of my team sometimes I'm in a leadership
position and sometimes that I'm not and it doesn't matter I'm gonna practice
leadership if I'm a salesperson you know if I work at
the check-in counter of an airline I'm gonna take care of the people I work
with I wouldn't take care of the customers as if as if they're my family
you know like practice leadership learn about it study it because I do these
things because I recognize I'm just a piece of a jigsaw puzzle. You know tell
me about your greatest failure and the reason I ask that is because I think
that the character of a person comes out of their failures not out of their
success and I think that the bedrock part of foundation of leadership is
character and you build on it and so I want to know about you know what would
tell me about a mess up in your life and I've had some video I mean that when
people ask me that question it's kind of like you know which one do I pull out
but I really like to talk to people about their losses because it just
really tells me a lot about who the person really is,
I'm not sure success does, one of the
questions I asked them is who do you know that I should know and that's led
me to meet soon credible people like that somebody else open the door that I
wouldn't have so I just find that in asking questions I in fact I wrote a
book one time good leaders ask great questions
I just find in asking questions that's the way that I can grow and develop
ourselves the best and I told leaders all the time that before you lead people
you gotta find them and I think this is a big missing leadership we just assume
people already are already on our page so we just start leading and we've
never planned so I always go to where they live and who they are and and begin
a relationship with them and ask questions and and get to know them just
get to know them because you know managers try to leave everybody the same
whereas leaders understand that you need everyone differently you and you lead
them temperament, according to their passion, according to their giftedness, I mean
they're about a dozen things that you lead them according that it's unique to
every individual. It takes courage because we're gonna be swimming upstream
in a world that is very finite driven you know the pressures on us are
overwhelming from Wall Street or our own egos or from internal incentive
structures or our bosses whatever it is the pressures are overwhelming for us to
play the finite game and so how do you stand up to massive external pressure
courage and courage is something that comes from relationships you know it's
external. A world-famous trapeze artist would never attempt a brand-new
death-defying act for the first time without a net they would never do it so
why do we think that we could do something difficult without external
support to and leaders set the tone so when companies are loyal to us we will
give loyalty back to them when they are not loyal to us why would we be loyal to
them I'm tired of of CEOs telling me that you
know Millennials these days don't stick around very long
well why would they if you don't offer them any kind of loyalty back and it's
not for the people to prove to you that they're loyal it's the other way around
leaders set the tone and so it's because of this general business theory that
we've seen a steady decline a steady erosion of loyalty in the business world
today we don't want to work at a company for 20 or 30 years mainly because we're
not sure we could we're not sure that the company actually cares to keep us
around network and so we constantly have our eyes open in my house
can we come to work feeling uncomfortable that some of the decisions
that are being made don't benefit the good of the employed. You know running a
business is the same as getting healthy it's a lifestyle leadership is a
lifestyle an infinite mindset is a lifestyle right so for example you can't
get healthy by going to the gym for nine hours it doesn't work right
but if you go every single day for 20 minutes you'll absolutely get into shape
100% but I don't know when and it's different times for different people
right and leading is the same thing you can absolutely have fitness goals you
can absolutely have finite goals within the infinite context of being healthy
but there's a practice that you have to do you have to get enough sleep you have
to go to the gym then you have to eat well you have to protect your
relationships you know because healthy relationships really matter to our
health and you have to do all those things vigilantly and if you miss your
health goal it's okay you keep working at it and you know you will hit it
business is the same who says that you have to meet this goal on this arbitrary
date now it helps to drive and it's good to have incentives and we we're very
goal-oriented species that's fine but if we miss the thing it's fine we just keep
working towards it like their guidance they're not absolutes because they're
arbitrary dates and arbitrary numbers and even if you do hit your fitness goal
you don't get to stop working out you should you have to keep going for the
rest of your life. And show that you value them by learning about them and
and and getting to know them and doing then you lead them with their best
interest in mind which is a beautiful way to lead people