Are you being loved bombed by a narcissist and you want to know bam how to truth bomb them back?
By the end of this video you're going to have seven truth bombs to respond to those love bombs.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung and I have been recognized as one of the top
one percent of attorneys in the country and I've written a couple of bestselling books,
Negotiate Like You Matter and Breaking free, a step-by-step divorce guide. And
more importantly for you, I've helped millions of people escape narcissistic
relationships by giving them step-by-step real guidance on how to legally create
a strategy and tactics where you can actually start to see movement in your negotiations.
So I don't provide legal advice, what I provide here is strategy, tips, tactics. These are
universal, they can be used by anybody in the world. If you are a human being who is
negotiating with another human being who happens to be a narcissist then you are in the right
place. So make sure that you hit subscribe, you hit the notification bell, and that way
you'll be in on the secret and have all the information that you need in order to
strategically and tactically create what you need to in order to get out of these relationships.
So, let's talk about love bombs and truth bombs. So when you're getting love bombed that means what
happens at the beginning of a relationship where there's this outpouring of devotion, especially
early in a relationship or after a relationship conflict or something like that has happened,
it can be the start of something, what feels like something wonderful. And what could be
wrong with your partner laying it on so thick? I mean, isn't that part of a great relationship?
So, love bombing refers to these loving words, these actions and behaviors but the problem is
that they're being used as a manipulation and they offer this attention and this loving and affection
in an attempt to influence another person and that's what love bombing is.
So, a narcissist love bombs in order to gain your trust but once the bombing raid has ended the
affectionate behavior starts to dry up. So, the love bomber at that point might become irritable,
they start to dominate you, they start to not boundaries, they might even start ghosting you.
And if you want to know more about ghosting you should definitely check out my video
on silent treatment versus ghosting versus going no contact. I give a whole primmer on
what the difference is between those things. But love bombing is something that happens because
they want control over you. So, with love bombing
they sometimes use it after the relationship starts as a methodology to get you to not
see their poor behavior so that they could be excused from something because they don't want
to have to take responsibility for something. So they use love bombing sometimes in that
way too. It's not constant and it's really a manipulation. And when it's on it's on and it's
great but when it ends it's awful, it's way worse. So, they don't even necessarily believe their own
professions of devotion and commitment and all of that. Their sincerity does not determine
whether love bombing is taking place or not. Love bombing describes an imbalanced relationship. It's
one in which the one person is the recipient of the love bombing and the other person is actually
just trying to manipulate the other person. It's not an equal partnership where you're both
invested, you're both expressing love, it's a give and take, and it's meaningful and there's
a real connection. That's not what's going on here. So, a lot of times it feels like
pressure especially at the beginning of the relationship where they're trying to fast-track
it and they might be pressuring at the beginning for exclusive dating or for moving in together or
sexual stuff or whatever but they're trying to fast track that relationship in the beginning.
So, and I actually have a whole video on love bombing as well so you should definitely check out
my video on love bombing. So, when you want to respond to those love bombs then what?
What do you do? So the response is what we call a truth bomb and a truth bomb is a fact spoken
in a clear, easy to understand manner without bias, without emotion. It's a piece
of knowledge that when told to the listener, who happens to be the narcissist in this case,
it's devastating to their argument and their view. So here are seven truth bombs that are in response
to love bombs. So for example, if they say, "I will never disappoint you again
I promise. From now on everything will be different." Your truth bomb is going to be,
"That sounds too good to be true." That's you're basically just saying, "Listen, that's
a little too much. Nobody can be perfect. Nobody can respond with I'll never do this ever again."
So you're saying it matter of factly without emotion, without smugness. Don't be sneering
because they'll definitely respond in anger to that. Just say, "That sounds too good to be true."
So the second one is they say, "You're so special to me. You know I didn't mean what
I said. I wasn't myself. I won't take it out on you again." So then the truth bomb to that is,
"I've heard that promise before." So, if you are so sick of being loved bombed and
you are so ready to just truth bomb from now on give me a truth bomb in the comments.
All right. So the next one is when the love bomber, when faced with the latest incident of not
keeping his or her word they'll say, "It wasn't my fault because," blank, whatever the excuse is.
"You can rely on me, I'll never let you down again." That's a future fake by the way.
So what you would say is, "That is a promise that is impossible to keep."
So the next one is when they're caught in a lie. So they'll say, "I will never do that again."
So what you want to say is, "I will believe you when I see how you act." In other words,
they don't necessarily always do what they say that they're going to do. So, "I'm looking
forward to seeing you act in that way. Thank you." So then the next one is when they avoid taking
responsibility for a problem. They might say, "You mean everything to me, we're soulmates. Remember,
I don't even know what I would do without you in my life. I need you." You just want to respond and
say, "That's really great and I'm glad that you feel that way and I look forward to seeing you
do the things that you're supposed to do." Just bring it back to them.
So another love bomb that you might get is somebody who just is constantly
absent all the time. "I'll let you know before I go anywhere. You will always know exactly
where I am." And just say something like, "Okay, I look forward to you doing that
and thank you for saying what you're saying." And maybe even offer to have them put their
money where their mouth is and say, "All right, how about you allow me to have access
to your location on your phone or something like that?" See what they say about that.
And another one is if they treat you with irritability or disdain and they might say
something like, "You look so beautiful. You look so handsome. How did I get to be so lucky?" Like
they're just trying to get you away from what it was that you're trying to hold them responsibility
for. Just say, "I acknowledge what you're saying and thank you for what you're saying. However, it
takes away from the point of what it is that I'm trying to make and you're making me feel like the
things that I'm saying, you're trying to make it like they didn't happen or
they're not important. Did you mean for me to feel that way? Was that your intent?" And it calls it
back on them because of course they're going to have to say, "No, that's not what I meant."
So, these are just a few ways that you can come back. Just remember just the facts ma'am,
just the facts sir. Never explain, justify or overshare, just respond to
what it is that they are saying. So if you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist
make sure to grab my free Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet at winmynegotiation.com. And
also join me in my free private Facebook group. These are two really, really easy, free ways to
get started that have so much value to them. And that is Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
So winnegotiation.com to get the free ebook, free negotiation worksheet, and Narcissist Negotiators
with Rebecca Zung on Facebook and make sure you like this video, share it, drop me a comment.
Just say truth bomb and make sure that you subscribe and hit the notification bell. Thank
you so much for joining me today on this edition of Negotiate Your Best Life. Remember today is
a great day to start negotiating your best life. Wherever you are is the jumping off point to where
you want to go. So thank you so much for joining me today and I'll see you in the next video.