That morning!
Wow, the GS Trophy, the motorcycle Camel Trophy, adventure, escape, the dream on two wheels
"Hello Sir", Hello"
"What is required to participate the GS Trophy?"
"Oh, the GS range is really appropriate"
"What, a GS? This big thing with imitation of off road tires that will never see other contaminamtion than the dung of Poodles on the sidewalks of Paris? Never!"
"It looks more appropriate than your F 800 R"
"we will see"
"Mister Cochet, this is just an advice! Don't get upset! Come back!"
If there's one thing I hate though, it's to be cataloged, stuck, parked.
I was going to show them, to the off road guys, that I did not need to stretch the foot far ahead, to live on stilts and get dressed as Darth Vader to live the outdoor adventure.
So I first went on the road because my F 800 R is also designed for it
I have enjoyed its parallel twin, smooth and with good torque from 2 500 to 5 000 rpm
and the Akrapovic exhauts provides a very nice sound
this engine is really good for most of the situations, having a good response to overcome
or to come out of the curves or the hairpins without having to use the gearbox which is very smooth
This facility can also be found through the chassis of the F 800 R with a very low seat height to suit all sizes.
With an average of 5.3 liters per 100 kilometers, fuel consumption is very reasonable.
The picture becomes idyllic as soon as we will set up the position of the handlebar to make it closer to the rider and avoid an useless racing position
If the F 800 R is simple as no other BMW: traditionnal fork, final transmission by chain, and "only" 87 horsepower.
it still preserves its German spirit through its look like no other, but also through its finition
and a lot of options available, like heatgripers, or the digital computer that can display
instantaneous or average consumption, autonomy before runing short of fuell, outside temperature, speed average !
Come on, we only regret its bad turning radius, and a front end a little bit heavy in slow corners.
Because the F 800 has got an "R" in its name, we pushed the door of sport to discover that
the engine offers a beautiful extend to 8 500 rpm, reaching reprimandable 230 km/h in sixth gear.
While on paper the 87 horses may seem meager, driving, the engine has got enough torque at mid range to never feel the need to have more
However, beyond 5000 rpm (125 km/h in sixth gear), the engine generates a few vibrations, which may be too sensitive for some of us.
Easy to flick, stable, the chāssis of the BMW F 800 R is very efficient during sport riding provided you harden a little bit the suspension settings
The only limit will come from the grip of the Metzeler ME5 tires, especially the rear one.
And there, just after a corner next to the city of Orange, the Holy Grail, the GS TROPHY!
But beware huh, no way to penetrate like that in the fortified camp of BMW owners. We must show credentials
For here, it smells good THE adventurer!
We must dress a minimum, show a clean, blend into the jungle, terrible jungle.
I didn't go around the bush
a road book for long stages in Lybia
short cut for the tires
huge crash cages in case of somersaults in the desert
a protection for the engine crankcases during extreme crossings
Here we are, my F 800 R "Géhaisse" GS had great looks and would look at home alongside these giants of ergs
To me the adventure, the great outdoors
Well, my GS was still intrigued and a few specialists
"Is this Marc Dorcel's bike, with all those teats on the tires?"
At the same time, I was not alone in coming up with bizarre things
You're a vicious boy riding that bike, aren't you? "
"Yeah I like it. Create some difficulties, it's more fun. I have no affect for these modern bikes, this is not my thing."
Well, let me explain the principle of the GS Trophy
20 stages are organized mixing enduro,cross, navigation, stages by team, etc...
You have two days to play them, in the order that you want
the important thing is to collect maximum points to win
In the early morning, under cover of a cool breeze Saharan Africa, 107 competitors and myself we started.
Immediatly, I was just struck by... you know... it looked like a school fair, at the end of the year.
We had to turn round bushes, pickets at low speed, to show that you have a good balance on a motorcycle
Play with hoops
make tree climbing, rappel, climb to a rope ladder
cross a river with a "tyrolienne"
Carry bucket with small balls in it
Jog next to his own motorcycle. "it is usefull to buy a motorcycle to be forced to do this."
Push it in reverse with the engine turned off
"this is the future of motorcycle. In ten years, when we run short of petrol, we will all push our bikes."
Go through a rail. "if I was told that the first rail I hit with a motorbike would be like that..."
Make Motoball as Vichnu, but with feet
Operate a motorcycle with a top case filled with water without losing a deciliter
At that moment, I started to think that all was made for one of those stupid TV shows
"The GS Trophy is ecological. Like the political programm of the Grenns. You are green and you row"
And me, I was here to make the viewers laugh.
I started to wonder.
"Any question?"
"Why?"
Around me, the other riders were just crashing everywhere
At the same time, this mouthing allowed me to see the wisdom of my stupid choice
No turning radius
No ground clearance
I had a clean and smooth riding style, and everybody admired that
And I also had not enough breath from my own parallel twin
But still, I was confident
Placed in 15th position on the evening of this first and tiring day, I decided to go and ask a few questions to my new friends.
"Wouldn't it be better with a BMW F 800 R than with this GS? It has got a better ground clearance!"
" F 800 R? Is this a BMW?"
"Your motorcycle dealer must be quite vicious. He sold to you a motorcycle that weights more than 260 kilos."
"no, 235! Today I crahsed in a big puddle of mud. I dived in it!"
"I am not a doctor, nor a lawyer, so my BMW isn't made to remain in my lounge."
"Wouldn't it be better with a F 800 R like me?"
"I got my riding license very recently, I don't knwon anything about bikes, so I carefull listened the advice of my dealer."
OK, nice talking. But what about real motorcycle among all this. Motorcycle when you sweat, when you push it, when you regret having come."
In fact, all this relaxation was hiding the real GS Trophy.
For the next day, things got more tough
As well in this stage turned vicious because of rain and mud
or the aptly named stage of "Erzberg"
Nice climbs, surfings, mud, and hard crossings...
it started to smell sweat and crash
As for me and my F800R than for those who dared to ride bikes over 250 kilos, as the astonishing 1200 GS Adventure.
Then, we were taken to a resistance race in a military place
where my F800R lost its sight, or hearing, I don't really remember
There, deep in the undergrowth and scrubland, the size of the smile of some proved once again that drunkenness was not necessarily linked to the modernity of the bottle, but sometimes to its vintage.
When we had to tackle a mixture of Supermoto and motocross, then I told myself that perhaps, I had been a bit optimistic with my F800R.
"motherfucker ... but they are sick, I'll go over the bar in this downhill"
The F 800 R told me that I was right with this organ donation
before reassuring me when I went back on the go kart track
Throughout the day, my F 800 R has finally and never acted only as a GS, with a hundred travel suspension less
The big fat rear tire cross gave me an incredible grip. Smoothness of the engine allowed me to go absolutely anywhere
The vines, the gravel have completed this beautiful Indiana Jones day
I finished in 17th position out of 108 competitors, dsimissing me with a super final reduced to the top ten.
Well, by the way, the finalists didn't really need me to make happy the audience in an over slippery stage, especially with standard tires.
I came back from the GS Trophy, with stars in my eyes, pensive, dreamy, almost deeply changed within myself
"then, sir Cochet, the F800R during the GS Trophy ? "
"well, maybe I shall test a GS model."
"come with me, we have what you need."