I don't think so.
Don't fall for the words
coming out of people's mouths, all right.
I have to.
(Laughter)
There's a lot of people screaming
I don't need a relationship,
I don't want a man, I don't need a man,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But behind closed doors
they are still craving that,
they still desire it.
Men and women
they want a relationship,
but they want a real one.
They want one that they don't have to
worry about getting played,
they want one where they can trust
this person's going to pour into their needs,
they want a real healthy relationship.
And so, the problem is
a lot of those people who say
I don't need or I don't want one
is because they don't believe a good one
exists, all right.
They don't think
that's realistic in today's world.
So, rather than get my hopes up high
let me just convince myself I don't want it.
But even if
you can honestly say right now
or you've convinced yourself to believe that
right now you don't want it,
watch in a few years.
You know at some point it catches up to you,
your true desire cannot be suppressed forever.
And it's going to come to the surface
and you're going to realize no,
you did want it and now
you got to look back because now
you've wasted all these years
BS-ing yourself, all right.
Running a mug living life however
not working on you,
not becoming the partner that
the kind of individual you would want in return.
And so, now you're starting from square one
when you finally realize damn,
I really want this and
I can't keep trying to deny this.
I have a rebuttal today.
Take, rebuttal the way.
So, do you feel like
relationships were more
in 2010 versus a 2020.
Like, are they more common in 2010
or they're more common... Like the number wise.
Number wise.
Okay, so I would say
they were more common
in 2010 than 2020, yes.
Why do you think that is?
Because people are jacked up
and people are
again, they have such negative perceptions
of love and relationships.
People are jaded, you know what I’m saying?
And so, they don't look at it
in a positive light anymore.
People... When people say
I don't want a relationship
what they're saying is
I don't want the headache
I believe comes with a relationship.
I don't want the drama,
the hurt, the disappointment,
that comes with it.
But the reality is that
you can have a relationship without all of that.
You can have a healthy one but again,
they don't think that exists.
Now, I will say
that the internet and more specifically IG
has made it harder in my opinion.
I used to always say,
it's not social media it's the person.
And I still believe listen,
relationships don't fail
because of social media,
social media exposes
what was wrong in that relationship.
But, but IG has really
affected people's perceptions
of what's realistic,
of what they're looking for.
I think men getting caught up in
what they're seeing online
with some of these women
and projecting that unto other women.
Women now getting caught up
in wanting more lavish lifestyles
and that's altered
their willingness to work with a guy
who may not be rich, you know what I’m saying?
I think there's a lot of impact coming from
what social media and specifically
what Instagram is showing people.
Yeah, because I feel like
they'll rather be single
you know, make their money, live independently.
If you look at some of the women rap artists
how they're living their lives,
even the IG models
how they're living their lives single you know,
doing what they want have their own control,
ain't got to worry about a man, you know I mean?
If they do get in a relationship
it's going to be you know,
with the rich guy that could spoil them,
that can sponsor them, that can you know,
take care of them.
If it's not that guy
then I might always just get the bag myself.
That's why I feel like nowadays
a lot of women don't
want to be in a relationship
unless it's one of those.
But you, but again you've
fallen for the hype and the lies, all right.
There's a smoke screen going on.
So, for example,
there's this esthetician I go to
and she has a lot of IG models as her clients.
And she told me she said,
look, don't be fooled.
These women when they come to her for their appointments
all they're talking about is
how they want a man,
how they want a relationship.
What they're showing you on IG
is not the reality of what they're expressing
in their real life, you know what I’m saying?
It's just that one,
some of these women don't want to
show that they got a man
because they're afraid about the next woman
coming to try to snatch them up, all right.
So, now, you have this whole thing where
they don't even show the dude's face
if they do post them
on the internet... I've seen a lot of girls do that.
Exactly, exactly.
So, many of them are either
in a relationship or working towards one
or hoping for one to happen,
but they don't want to seem like
they're pressed for one, you know what I’m saying?
Also, they don't want other women
talking trash about
oh, you want a relationship
but you're over here still single,
you know what I’m saying?
So, let me act like
nah, I’m good the way I am.
And even when you mention rappers,
yo, a lot of these rappers is in relationships,
some of them are even married.
I was just telling some dudes like,
some of your favorite rappers are married
and you would never know it.
People are fronting online.
So again, they want relationships,
but people are trying to
give off this image of I’m good single,
I’m fine, I don't need this blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's lies man, it's all lies.
Okay, maybe the one you might be right
how they had the way to get there
is like they weren't projecting all these lies.
It's like you're not going to end up getting what you truly desire.
And that's what some of them don't realize.
You can't project and front like that
and think it's going to work in your favor,
you're going to get what you're looking for.
You're shooting yourself in the foot.
Because now, for example,
if you're a woman
and let's say you're even one of these IG models
and there are dudes who want to get at you,
but now they think you don't want a relationship.
They think you're independent whatever,
then you're going to have less opportunities
of good quality men
shooting their shot
because they think you're not on that.
Whereas, the dude who just wants to fly you out
and have sex with you,
he don't care, he don't care if
you were happy to be single whatever
because he just... If anything,
he's glad you claimed that you happen to be single.
Because he don't want that problem in his life,
he just want to enjoy himself with you and be out.
So, yeah, they don't realize how
putting that out into the atmosphere
is actually working against them.
So, if you say you believe that
women want relationships,
what do you think is the kind of guy
women are looking for?
Financially stable number one.
Is there a number to that or it's just...
A specific number?
(Laughter)
Or is it just like you know,
high surplus with your...
The amount of money you're making minus your expenses.
I think it depends
and I don't want this to sound bad.
It's about to sound bad.
(Laughter)
I think it depends on
the quality of the woman
or her self-perceived quality, all right.
(Laughter)
Stop digging... Listen, there are...
If the woman perceives herself
as this highly desirable woman,
you know,
bad b queen, whatever.
Her willingness to work with a dude
who's not making I don't know
and I’m just throwing out a random number.
Let's just say 75k, 100k,
is less likely,
you know what I’m saying?
When you don't have that perception of self
you're much more willing
to widen your options
and deal with guys
who may not be there financially.
So, I think it really depends on
the person's self-esteem,
their confidence, how they perceive themselves,
you know what I’m saying?
So, financial stability
is definitely one of those things.
You know, I will always say it,
women want masculine energy, period.
You know what I’m saying?
Even the ones who are screaming that,
screaming against it
desire masculine energy.
That's what women are drawn to.
So, I feel they want that
I have to say again, financial stability.
I know I said the first time but
I really think in today's world
it's become even more of an issue.
And again, the ones who say it's not
I feel like some of them are frightened
like, yeah, you can deal with it initially
but after a certain amount of time
you're going to get tired of the fact that
this dude don't make a good amount of money
or isn't stable enough to take care of
certain things, you know what I’m saying?
And in today's world where I feel like
more and more people are traveling.
Like, it's almost like your financial position
is also determined on
can you take me on vacation?
Can we go places?
Because again, once upon a time
traveling wasn't as prevalent as it is now.
But now with IG and everyone
going all these different places,
a lot of people are looking at that.
But again, I think there are
plenty of women out there who
don't care about the money as much,
don't care about the traveling as much.
But unfortunately,
are these the women that
a lot of men are desiring?
And if they're not then
there's still a disconnect because
they can say okay, I’m cool with that.
But the kind of guy they want
is not necessarily
wanting them all the time and vice versa.
This's the same thing that happens
with dudes who aren't financially stable.
So, I mean,
what else? What else do women want?
I mean in general
again, I think women want masculine energy,
I think women want financial stability,
I think women want more
honesty and transparency.
I think women want
men who know how to hold a damn conversation.
And I say it like that because
a lot of dudes don't know how to hold a conversation,
you know what I’m saying?
And so, that's been a problem for a lot of people
while trying to date
and get to know each other.
So, and with
knowing how to hold a conversation,
men who are better at communication.
And men who are
about something in their life, you know what I’m saying?
Who have some kind of vision,
have some kind of plan, you know I’m saying?
Who don't have to be carried
on the woman's back.
Who can stand on their own two feet,
you know I think that's what women truly desire.
But I think
there's just still a disconnect
because even the ones who want that
if that kind of guy came their way
they wouldn't know what to do with it, you know what I’m saying?
Like, I was just talking to this other dude the other day like,
you got women who say
I want that successful man
then you get with him and now you're stressing them out
because he does what he does to be successful.
He's busy, he's working, he's hustling,
and you don't know how to deal with that
no more, you know what I’m saying?
Or you want this really good looking guy,
but then you getting jealous because
all these women are on his IG hitting him up.
Even though he ain't doing nothing
you feel some kind of way.
So, a lot of women have to ask themselves
can you even handle
being with the guy you say you want?
And a lot of them
aside from the two reasons I just gave you
when we add they have not healed
then oh, my goodness
now it's like yo,
it's a struggle.
It's a struggle which adds to
more of the disconnect
because now
can you... Think about that conundrum.
We have all these people who want
this type of individual
but aren't truly ready
to handle that type of individual.
And so, now you either settle
or you convince yourself
about being happy being single.
And one of the things like,
to what you shared.
I feel like for a lot of the average guy
like, they're struggling because
I personally think
that the female standard has...
Everyone has went up a notch, you know what I mean?
If you were driving you know,
Toyota’s now you're Lexus.
You know what I mean?
Everybody Hondas Acuras
Everyone went up a notch.
And so, I feel like
for the average everyday guy, you know.
Back in the early 2000 and 90s
the girls that were checking for you,
they don't check for you anymore
because they want the guy
who can take them on vacation
and fly him out and have you know,
the picture-perfect relationship on IG.
So, I feel like a lot of the average guy today
is struggling because
I feel like the women's standards
have went through the roof.
Yeah, I think because
again, going back to IG,
women are now seeing
other women get this treatment.
So, before you can convince yourself
well, listen, you're really lucky to come across this,
but now it "seems" in abundance,
you know what I’m saying?
Or greater abundance than
it once was before.
And so, that makes it harder
to accept less than that,
you know what I’m saying?
But again, I still think that
there are plenty of women...
I think a lot of times when we
talk about these issues
we're really talking about
the desirable people, all right.
Or the highly desired
meaning there's maybe let's say 80%
of women are not again,
the girl on IG.
They're not the women that
all these men are chasing after, whatever.
Just... And when I say average I mean
just common women,
but nice women of all types,
different backgrounds, whatever.
But when we say women want money
and they're so focused on
the financial and flying them out,
I feel like we're really focusing on,
focusing on the 20%
that the men are chasing after
to where they're being...
They're having that thrown in their face, all right.
Same thing on the flip side, it's like yo,
when women say
men are dogs or
men don't know how to be faithful,
you're really focusing on the top 20%.
There's dudes who have so many options
and don't know how to control themselves.
But the 80% of dudes
who just want one woman
who would just be happy in a relationship
we're not focusing on them.
So, it skews our perceptions of things.
So, I do think again,
there are tons of women and men
who aren't buying into
these raised expectations, these raised times.
Even though I agree with you,
it has gone up a notch.
And I think even with amongst those 80%
it's still gone up,
but I think the 20%
has jumped it up a lot more, you know what I’m saying?
On both sides what men are now
expecting their woman to look like
is different than what it was
10, 20 years ago, you know what I’m saying?
And what women are expecting
for that man to have in his pockets
is different than 10, 20 years ago.
But I would argue that the majority
would just be happy to have a relationship,
but you know everybody
has a level of pickiness somewhere,
whether they want to acknowledge it or not.
Hey, thank you for watching this video.
Be sure to check this one out right here
and I'll see you there.
You've been hurt,
you've been let down,
and I get it, but guess what?
The same walls you have to protect you
are the same walls blocking your blessings.
You cannot love and receive love
when you are walking in fear every day.