-Guys, it is important to remember there are
two sides to every news story.
To make sure you get to see important issues from all sides,
we have invited two of our writers
who have very different points of view.
We will examine their opinions
in a segment we call "Point, Counterpoint."
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Ally, Amber, thanks for being here today.
First topic.
President Trump temporarily ended
the longest government shutdown in U.S. history on Friday
without even getting his wall.
Is it worth shutting it down in two weeks for him to try again?
Ally? -Absolutely not.
It will throw this country into turmoil.
How is it not illegal for him
to use the livelihood of all these Americans as leverage
for him to get a stupid monument to himself?
-A monument to himself. Amber?
-If I had a monument of myself, it would be so cool!
It would be just like the Lincoln Memorial,
except I'd be sitting like this.
[ Laughter ]
As the plaque would say "She sure did like margaritas."
-Another great point. Next topic.
BuzzFeed reported President Trump directed
his lawyer, Michael Cohen, to commit perjury,
and although Robert Mueller's team
said that wasn't quite accurate, they didn't refute it, either.
Too early to throw around the word "impeachment"? Ally?
-No, because this is literally
one of the reasons Nixon was impeached.
And we all know Trump did it.
The only thing I worry about is that right now
our alternative is human robot Mike Pence.
-Human robot. Amber?
-[ Robotic voice ] I am a human robot.
I know how to walk, how to talk.
But no one ever taught me how to love.
[ Normal voice ] Hey, remember how data from "Star Trek"
was always like, "I wish I was real"?
And I would always be like, "How do you have
all these strong feelings when you're a robot?
Something doesn't add up."
-Seth, what she's saying is completely off topic.
-Ally, it's called "Point, Counterpoint."
She makes a point, you make a counterpoint.
-We're all doing a good job!
-Next topic.
The field of Democrats running for President in 2020
grows by the day, but this could also mean
another vicious battle to become the nominee.
Can the Democrats survive their own primary season? Ally?
-Honestly, who knows?
People already have their claws out on social media.
I just don't get why these people
want to destroy their own party.
-Destroy their own party. Amber?
-♪ It's my party, I'll destroy it if I want to ♪
♪ Destroy it if I want to, destroy it if I want to ♪
-Those aren't the words! -♪ And you would do it, too ♪
♪ Flappy flippy dee floo ♪
♪ Ba ba beep boop bop, ah ba ba ba ba ba ♪
-Next topic, please!
-Finally, the Chinese government has arrested a scientist
they say gene-edited two babies.
Should be this illegal, or could it help parents
protect their future children from disease? Ally.
-Helpful or not, once governments gets their hands
on this technology, it will be bad news.
As it is, I refuse to give my DNA to 23andMe
because they're just going to sell it.
We need a president who will pass legislation on this soon.
-Maybe I'll run for president. -[ Laughs ] Okay.
You know, if you were serious about being president,
you'd announce it formally.
-All right.
-Where's she going? -I don't know.
♪♪
-Good evening from New York.
Our top story tonight is about migrating tree frogs that --
Can I help you?
-Hi. I'm Amber Ruffin.
And I'm running for President of the United States!
-Uh...great. What's your platform?
-Margaritas for everyone!
-I don't hate it.
-Okay, bye! Love you!
-Love you, too?
♪♪
-There you go.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow.
-I can't believe you did it.
-I can't believe you didn't do it on this show.
-Oh. Is that something other people are doing?
-No.
But it'd be cool if they did.
-Okay, then. I'm running for President!
-Oh, shut up, Ally. -Fair.
-This has been "Point, Counterpoint."