(gentle, upbeat music)
- Here's your latte.
- Excuse me.
Is this soy milk?
- Oh, actually, it's 2%.
I can remake it for you.
- Oh, no!
No, it's fine.
It's totally fine.
I probably forgot to say soy, so it's on me.
- Okay, enjoy.
- Yeah.
(grunting)
(upbeat electronic music)
@Wendys, your garbage employee gave me 2% milk
instead of soy milk.
I will be contacting the police.
Also, I'm ashamed to live in a world
where your stupid restaurant exists.
#GoAway.
#IHopeYouDiarrhea like I did from the mocha latte.
(upbeat electronic music)
- Getting ready for a hot night in with my man.
You need to spice it up for your relationship.
Keep him, ladies, keep him.
(purring)
(kissing)
(upbeat hip-hop music)
(burping)
(choking)
Oh, shit, are you choking on your retainer again?
Okay, come on.
Let me fish it out.
(upbeat electronic music)
- If you're not investing in crypto, you're doing it wrong.
Check out this sick ass ride I got
by just investing $200 in Ranch Coin last year.
It's a freaking Porsche, idiot.
Look at this.
It's got everything.
It's all electric.
It also has cup holders.
The babes are all over me.
(upbeat hip-hop music)
- Hey, guy.
Yeah, I paid you 20 bucks to wash my car
and you're kind of taken forever.
- Oh, yes, sir.
Can I interest you in a money-making opportunity?
- No.
- All right.
Rise and grind, bitch!
(laughing)
(electronic beeping)
(grunting)
Oh, my ass!
(upbeat electronic music)
- This is my bestie for life!
My ride or die!
- Oh, my God, we are so irritating!
If you're ever in the same place as us,
you better watch out because we are wild!
- Wild!
- Oh, my God, shots, shots, shots, bitch!
Cheers!
- Cheers!
(upbeat hip-hop music)
- Hey ladies, can I interest you in some drinks?
- We're on keto.
- Okay.
Seem like a lot of fun.
(upbeat electronic music)
(gentle music)
- As the man, I'm a feminist.
My strong mother and strong sister are so strong
that I like to think of them as people, not sex objects.
Happy International Women's Day.
#Women.
(upbeat hip-hop music)
(hip-hop music playing)
- Ladies, what do you say we go back to my place,
put on the Lego Batman movie, and touch tongues?
(drink splashing)
Okay, so no tongues.
Cool.
Fair.
All right.
Oh, it's cold!
(upbeat electronic music)
- Hi, friends.
It's a wonderful day and I'm here to let you know
that today is people experiencing homelessness awareness day
and I'm drawing awareness by making this awareness post
to show you all my awareness.
Are you aware?
What the (beeping) are you doing?
Try harder.
You're worst than me.
(upbeat hip-hop music)
- Hey, excuse me, ma'am.
- (laughing) I love The Backyardigans.
They're stupid.
Look at their colors.
(laughing)
They wear backpacks?
(upbeat electronic music)
- I guess this house is fine for 1.7 million.
I just wish the guests casita had a second story.
(upbeat hip-hop music)
Hey babe, can you get out of the closet?
I have to use the toilet.
(upbeat hip-hop music)
- Chet, you're not pulling your weight
in this group project.
You haven't done any research.
- Sorry, I don't have time for research.
I've been super swamped with other stuff.
(upbeat electronic music)
Actually, The Pony Friends is subline
of "My Little Pony", released in 1986
and they never made an appearance in the series
until "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic".
You cuck!
Do your research!
(screaming)
(upbeat electronic music)
- This girl keeps harassing me in my Instagram comments.
- Oh, it's on!
I'm gonna fire back at that asshole
and tell her not to mess with my friends!
I'm contacting her employer
and showing them screenshots of this!
Uh-uh, no!
(upbeat hip-hop music)
(gasping)
- Oh, my God, we're so sorry.
That wasn't our bag.
- Oh no, that was not our bad.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
I'm such an idiot.
Idiot alert!
My friend over here, she's also an idiot.
- Uh-uh, I'm not an idiot.
- Please, just take all of our money!
Who even let these idiots into this bar?
You honestly just kill us.
- Nicole!
- What?
- Why are you telling him to kills us?
- Just kill us.
- I don't wanna die!
- My future person sounds so scary.
- Future person?
Like honestly, you should just take my shoes.
(laughing)
(beeping)
- Eat my (beeping), idiot.
What?
It has fricking gears.
Look at that and it has cup holders.
Oh, look at all this stupid (beeping) it has.
It has a clock.
Get (beeping).
(beeping)
- You'll never be me.
This jacket was $3,000, but it was gifted to me
because I'm actually in debt.
Hi. (laughing)
(beeping)
- I haven't had time for research.
I've been super swamped with other things.
- You act like we don't have lives, either.
- Oh, my God.
If only you knew what I was dealing with.
- I guess we'll never know.
I know you want to date him, but he's a dud.
(crew laughing)
(group laughing)
(beeping)
- Hey, ladies!
Can I offer you some water?
- We're on keto.
- It's a diet where we don't have any sugar or carbs.
- That's a (beeping) carb.
- [Woman In Gold] Yeah, that's a carb.
- Do you not know what keto is?
- [Man] No, no.
(laughing) (beeping)
(keyboard clicking)
(beeping)
- I was just wondering if you could maybe help me out.
I need someone to call an ambulance.
Can you?
I hurt my ankle this morning.
- That's cute.
Is that from Free People?
- No, I fell.
Could you help me out?
- No.
(laughing)
(beeping)
- Every time I take a shot, my tits get bigger.
- They do!
They're so big right now!
- Oh, my God!
- I want a hot dog.
- Me, too.
(laughing)
(beeping)
(grunting)
(crew laughing) (beeping)
- In ninth grade, people called me smelly Rick,
so he was my only friend and now in 10th grade,
I feel like I owe it to him.
- That's right.
Thank you, smelly Rick.
(laughing)
(beeping)
- I'm sorry your clothes always smell like poo poo.
It's not my fault.
I love Frito-Lay.
(crew laughing)
(beeping)
- All right!
Rise and grind, bitch!
(laughing)
(beeping)
(grunting)
- Oh, my ass!
My ass!
Oh, my ass!
I should probably run him over.
- My ass!